Hello

It baffles and infuriates me that Hogwarts students don’t take Latin or Greek. Accio? Literally “I summon.” Lumos? Fucking “light.” Expelliarmus? Expel weapon!! Ooooh I wonder what Levicorpus does– you Dumb Ass Bastard. You ILLITERATE. It’s called Levicorpus, it lifts someone’s body, it LEVIES your goddamn CORPUS-

Hermione ghost wrote this

Counterpoint: Hogwarts actively discourages students from taking Latin or Greek because if they knew either one every single magic twelve year old would be trying to mash up twenty words and make their own Ultimate Spell instead of using the Good Standardized Spells Known Not To Explode Magic Schools 

I have a feeling that last point is aimed at the ravenclaws…

In High School Musical 2 Sharpay very clearly states that they have “…Iced tea imported from England, life guards imported from Spain, towels imported from Turkey, and turkey imported from Maine.” In order to import an item, it must come from another country. The series is set in Albequerque, New Mexico, and as New Mexico and Maine are both part of the United States Of America, they cannot have their turkey imported from Maine. As most of the characters are white, and all speak English, this clearly indicates that High School Musical takes place in an alternate universe where a second Civil War has split the nation and New Mexico is no longer part of the Union, based on the fact that we never see the characters celebrate the Fourth of July. In this essay I will

This took such an unexpected turn I got whiplash

So my boss once robbed a museum to prove a point and honestly, I think she is my new role model. 

If this gets notes I’ll tell the full story

Storu

when my friend found out her boyfriend of three years was cheating on her she went through his phone, took pictures of every interaction he had with another girl, printed them out, wrote down where she had been at every instance and what lies he had told her about where he would be, and put them in a folder. when she confronted him and he denied everything she pulled out this big ass folder and just said “lets review” and Honestly, that is the most iconic thing anyone has ever done.

for my entire life i wondered why a dragonfly has an ass thats like 8 times as long as their body and tonight i finally felt compelled to investigate and as it turns out dragonflies breath thru their ass and can shoot water out of their butt hole to make them fly faster…….so…… i really did not expect that to be the answer but there it is

I love how OP fucked up so hard that their attempts to fix it should have led to the ass-whooping of a lifetime, but, through an entire SERIES of ridiculous circumstances and UNBELIEVEABLE LUCK, it all worked out better than expected. OP is a fucking protag in a kids’ show, what in the fuck.

what if i told you that a lot of “Americanized” versions of foods were actually the product of immigrant experiences and are not “bastardized versions”

That’s actually fascinating, does anyone have any examples?

Chinese-American food is a really good example of this and this article provides a good intro to the history http://firstwefeast.com/eat/2015/03/illustrated-history-of-americanized-chinese-food

Stuff you Missed in History Class has a really good podcast overview of “Foreign Food” in the US.

@clipitswings

standing up and blacking out for a few seconds is just transitioning from a cutscene to the actual gameplay

When English isn’t taught correctly…

Scottish Tumblr ™ came through

[wakes up] [clown vanishes] aaaahhh that was a nice rest. i slept like a baby all night. time to start the day [gets up] [takes a shower and brushes teeth] [gets dressed] [goes about my day taking care of business] [comes home] fwoo i’m tired. it’s time for a hard-earned night’s rest. [lies down] [falls asleep] [evil clown materializes in my room and watches me sleep all night]

no text post has ever started better than “[wakes up] [clown vanishes]” I’m hooked into the story I want to know more about this world