apple spider vinegar

there is a demon in your house named CARBON MONOXIDE. he enchants your mind with confusion and your body with exhaustion. you need to call a powerful exorcist named HVAC TECHNICIAN

imo the pov character should be lying to themselves and concealing shit from themselves constantly

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exactly, bestie. Exactly

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

I love being an adult who always puts my hand out to shake when I meet a kid! every single time their face is like "no one does The Adult Greeting Ritual with me, is this a sign of respect or is this man simply unhinged" and then of course as we talk they realise it's both

going on a guilt trip do yall want anything

if you really cared about me you wouldn't have to ask

and, look, I’m not complaining, not at all, but this is why it’s very important to be abundantly clear and specific with your Etsy witch.

float like a butterfly (nervously forgets end of quote) green like a pea