this mystery machine kills fascists

love when cats hear that you've woken up even just a little bit and they're like hiiiiiii oh my god oh my god!!!!! i wrote some poems in the night let me recite them for you. this one is called: screaming and knocking your water bottle off your nightstand

i’m just saying, the substances scene in gotham would be unlike anything else . a fucking minefield. joker gas weed

smokin on the shit that made harvey dent

smokin the shit that made that boy wonder

doesn't it piss you off that you have to find something to eat every single day. every one of them. just every day. you gotta eat something

You know what? I needed to read this today

everyone who reblogs this and is like "I ordered my own tea this week" or "I only barfed once when I had to give a presentation'- you are doing amazing sweetie. Have patience with yourself, you are relearning a skill so difficult that people get 4 year degrees to do it professionally.

im in the pussy like turmeric in tupperware

what if orpheus was butch and she unclipped her carabiner and held it out behind her and then eurydice clipped it onto her belt loop and then orpheus didnt have to look back because she could hear eurydice jingle jangling behind her. follow me for more dyke solutions to famous tragic literature

I’m a magician in the sheets 😏 *pulls a rabbit out of my pussy*

-Mary Toft, 1726

Hold on I need to look something up

What

yeah. sorry