TWmydiary

||I wnat ri kill myself so bad genuinely whats the point if my being here. I ruxk everything up; im just a oueve or shit and I can't do anything good. in failing ny classes lik3 a looser and my mom is clearly disappointed in me and she wants me to geta job but I can't do a job and sxool sxhiol already makesnmenwantyokiklmyeswkf im si tired. I miss being manic and i miss loving myself and being content and imsitiemred an alone and ill be alone forever no one understands me?, j just want to rie and I can't tell anyone i think about it akk the tine; it's not like it 2ould ve hard. I have so many pulls and so many vatities and I can't di it because then I'll just be an attention whore. whats the point in living. I dint see a oihbg at all and yet here I am forced to live and forced to act k7je everything is okay all the time and that in m3btakky stake and im not because therapy only helps so much and meds only helps si mych but at the end of th3 day I'm th3 fuck up its me and I dont want to live with mys3lf but I have to ruxk lifez|| tw sucidala or whatever

I feel so fucking alone

I genuinely dont mean to be a bad partner. I thought we were play fighting... I Just wanted to explain stuff to you. I fucking hate myself. I wish I could r3lapse.

im sll alone. why would anyone care i xant talk to anyone fuck

I love how bariatric surgery has just made me a glorified bulimic now

i am such a fuck up. WHat is wrong with me.literally why did i start an argument. i hate myself so much. i deserve to die. i genuienly wiish i could relapse so bad right now. i deserve a relapse. why am i such a fucking asshole. what is wrong with me. what the actual fuck is wrong with me

I think im done. im so tired. Everything feels like its going wrong. I got bariatric surgery amd I regret it so much. I cant eat without throwing up, I can barely drink water. Im so depressed i cant stand it. I feel like my relationship is failing and im terrified of it ending. And the people i live with want to let my cats outside. im sitting on the bathroom floor after throwing up, just contemplating my life. Why do I bother existing. I feel like maybe I should do it after my birthday.... Maybe I could run away and then do it.... or maybe I should just take a bunch of pills. if I do it I have to do it right. I cant come back from it. No i think id get kicked out if I fail. I dont want to traumatize anyone tho. I wish suicide wasnt such an inconvenient thing. I guess its good it is. its not like I'll go thru with it. I never do.... I just feel so sick and tired

I feel so insecure I feel like im genuienly going to ruin my relationship because of it

Everything in my life feels so fucked I want to killl myself so bad, i wish I could sob but I cant even properly cry

breaking news: I still want to kill myself