English Nerd In Question

Willie never expected to find someone he cared about, or if he did, nothing that could ever mean anything important. Having his soul belong to Caleb didn’t give him the chance to try either. Instead he was stuck on a loop of giving out fake smiles and assisting the dull, rich personalities that made their way into the Hollywood ghost club. It was all bullshit. He wanted, no, needed something more.

Ever since Willie practically ran over Alex months ago, he found some semblance of an escape. With him he would spend almost all his time off, trying to forget each night before.

This afternoon, Willie was back at the studio with his newly defined boyfriend. Alex was practically on top of him with the way they were cuddled. Willie stared at the soft lights above them, mind wandering. He was almost glad Alex was too asleep to notice how quietly he had been. He knew that these calming moments couldn’t last forever. Caleb would find out eventually, he always does. What if he actually destroyed Willie’s soul? What if he hurt Alex again? Oh god, what if-

“Wills?” A tired would sounds, snapping him out of his spiral “you’re shaking”

“Shit ‘lex, I’m sorry”

Alex shook his head “are you okay?”

“Of course I am, I’m with you” Willie attempts to be cheerful

“As cute as that was, I know that’s a lie”

“Could we leave it? I’m not wrecking this”

“Wills there’s nothing to be wrecked here”

Alex gives Willie’s certain look he can’t help but give in to. He hesitates, but relents.

“I’m scared. Of..this”

“So am I, I mean I never really thought I’d have a boyfriend in my life. Let alone after it”

“No, it’s not that”

Alex gives a confused look, taking hold of Willie’s hand to urge him to continue

“… what if Caleb finds out about us? After the whole jolt thing he’s forbade me from even looking in your direction”

“Willie, we already worked against him once. I know better than anyone how scary it seems but I want this, you, so much”

“But it’s not safe Alex! I could hurt you. I already put you in danger once I can’t do it again” Willie didn’t even the tears that began to fall down his face. “I- I know I’m not one to follow rules and shit but your life is at stake here. I’d never forgive myself”

“Willie…”

“You’re not safe with me”

Alex, with shaky hands, holds onto Willie like a lifeline, trying to show he can’t be driven away. Willie in response collapses into Alex’s arms

“I’m so fucking scared ‘lex”

“…I can’t lie and say I’m not terrified of him, but I promise I’m not going to give this up because of him either. You’re too important for me to do that”