❝ no, that was ‘cause you felt bad for me. like i needed cheerin’ up ? ❞ his tone is not mean but it’s no longer GENTLE, more accusatory. sharp. she knows him, knows what this means for him, shoulda known better than to treat him like something he ain’t ━ something WEAK & breakable : jesse custer survived angelville on his own, he doesn’t need her hugging his chest while he cries ━ but at the same time, he sure enjoyed her attentions, enjoyed every stroke of her tongue & the privilege she’s granted him of shootin’ on her tits that made the whole thing even better. & not just because it’s been years since she knelt before him but because he did really, truly need it, after all. the feeling of DREAD’s never entirely left him since he drove her car down the endless oak alley leading to the wretched plantation, the sickening sense of suffocation. ❝ but i don’t. it’s been a long time, tulip. ❞
hands rest up on his hips, gaze low till he turns & takes a few steps away form her toward the center of the room, hoping the SHAME will leave his cheeks, his gut, his soul. ❝ an’ you couldnta done shit ‘bout it, either, they just… woulda used you to hurt me more. ❞ JODY’LL PAY, that’s for goddamn sure, but all those years have taught him patience, far as vengeance is concerned. years worth of plotting the most brutal payback a custer can fathom ; & neither he nor they shall be disappointed when hell breaks loose. if only he could get 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐒 back ! he stands still, eyes roaming about the attic that’d served as his mama’s bedroom before being forcefully passed on to him, not granting tulip more than a fleeting glance, discomfort clear enough to confirm his lack of will to linger on the CASKET topic for so long.
it’s a rare thing for tulip o’hare to let so many things slide, especially when those things PISS HER OFF like jody, or hurt her heart, like jesse’s humiliation over her blowing him. as much as she’s able to slip into impulsive tirades and stubborn arguments, she’s able to cool her jets to stop and see what’s right in front of her. jesse custer, stuck in his own between-life-and-death hell, but alive to feel everything harder, to relive every bad thing done to him here, trying his best to stand up straight and take things like a tough motherfucker. she gives him his space, but only for a few moments, her footfalls light as she places a hand on his shoulder, “—hey,” it’s the same kind of eloquence jesse has when attempting to comfort her, but it’s always worked (he’s the best comforter she knows even though she’d never tell him). “so what, jesse. i blew you. the most t.c could get to willingly let him stick his dick in is a mouse-trap and jody?” she gives a sharp, heated exhale, “don’t get me started, but that man? he’s just a schoolyard bully, but bigger and ... with guns and shit.”
determined, tulip lifts her hand to cup jesse’s cheek, other hand firm on his shoulder, lest he try to walk away again, “i don’t know all’a what he did to you, but he sure as hell can bleed. you’ve taken down big guys before, did it that one time in reno with your hands tied behind your back. these people here, what they did to you was real bad jesse, but you ain’t a boy anymore. ‘n even though ... genesis could’a put this to a quick end, you aren’t as stuck as you think you are. the old lady ... yeah, she’s got a FREAKY way of knowing most’a what’s going on, but she doesn’t know what’s going on up here and she probably thinks you ain’t shit to worry about without genesis, but you’re REAL SHIT, jesse.” with a sigh, tulip’s brow furls; she knows most of what she says could easily be debunked by jesse, but she means every word of it. with both hands, she gives him a gentle push towards the musky bed they’ve been sharing. “sit down,” once he complies, tulip seats herself behind him. as rare as sucking his dick is for her, this is almost unheard of. still, her hand knead hard at his broad shoulders, palms rolling into his back. “—it’s different now here ‘cos you got me and i’m not gonna let no-one casket you ‘cos i have your back, jesse. i don’t feel sorry for you. never felt sorry for myself neither ... it’s just ...” she pauses, teeth lightly sinking into her lower lip as she thinks, “having your back means making you feel good when you’re feelin’ shitty, right? so getting that information from t.c made it real clear why you hate this place and these people. a’course i’m gonna blow you, jesse custer. you think THE DUKE would ever disagree with a blowjob? would never blow the duke, but he’d take it and he’d say ‘well, thanks, i’m gon’ go kick some ass now,’ you got somethin’ better, though, jesse, ‘cos the women sucking the duke’s dick never knew how to make a bomb outta fertilizer and they never had his back in a fight. me?” tulip gives a modest, self-assured grin, “’m gonna have your back ‘till the end’a the world, boy. you can try t’kick me off, but i ain’t letting go.”
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