F/30/ pansexual @turnip--head - Tumblr Blog

I just need a beautiful woman to tell me that my bizarre imitation of human social skills is alluring and sexy

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segamascott

re-dracula

Sound designing a vampire being hit in the face with a shovel is... challenging. Who would've guessed.

re-dracula

#loony toons bonk and wilhelm scream

@scp-1296 you understand me

Visit Original Link

nebulations

[Audio transcript: Ben Galpin voicing Jonathan Harker from Dracula by Bram Stoker. He says, "There was no lethal weapon at hand, but I seized a shovel which the workmen had been using to fill the cases, and lifting it high, struck, with the edge downward, at the hateful face," followed by a cartoon "bonk" and the Wilhelm scream. End transcript]

yellow-cat

do u think i can go for a run today or is that something only normal people are allowed to do

thisisdogs

weird animals run all the time dude

yellow-cat

im going to go for a scamper and scare everyone

chongoblog

ITS APRIL 13 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

FETCH ME NEIL

chongoblog

HAPPY BIG TWENTY NEIL

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gaynfl-moved

STOP CENSORING YOURSELF ON THIS WEBSITE. FUCK SHIT SEX MURDER ALCOHOL DRUGS FAGGOT DYKE QUEER TRANS BITCH SLUT WHORE SEX SEX SEX SEX!!!!!!!!!!!

your-sleep-paraylis-demon

OK OK. UH UHHHH..... KILL?

gaynfl-moved

harvestspriteirl

Today I am feeling spicy.

Not in a chilli pepper salsa fanfiction way.

It's more pepper spray napalm eating faces way.

#themood #vibes

crystalcrossing-remade-deactiva

shit man tomorrow is christmas eve i swear yesterday was June 2010

allegedly-human

As is tradition in tumblr culture the locals unearth the corpse of a long deceased figure and drag it across the streets merrily, laughing at what is preserved of the person’s words. This custom, seen as morbid in other cultures, is instead done gleefully and with an unmatched enthusiasm

wingscanspeak

I am going to eat this entire candy cane.

nightowlsupreme

You’re going to get a cavity

wingscanspeak

good

wingscanspeak

30 min later, not much progress.

wingscanspeak

Its been an hour. I bit my tongue, my teeth hurts and I’m almost halfway done…

casualfanboy

One hour and half done. That’s impressive That takes real skill and perseverance

wingscanspeak

an hour and a half. my grandma called and I didnt take it so i could eat this… i hate everything

wingscanspeak

i’d rather be eating anything but this

wingscanspeak

two and a half hours…. my mouth will never taste normal again

wingscanspeak

3 fucking hours

I’ve tasted Satans asshole and it tastes like 3 hours of mint.

wingscanspeak

Please. Please don’t bring this back.

butchercat

‘Tis the season.

clausy4life-deactivated20190624

It’s November

killjoygem

TO BE JOLLY

taiscerayne2426

I’ve tasted Satan’s asshole and it tasted like 3 hours of mint

wingscanspeak

Y’all can’t forget this for like one year can you

imsomeguy1

fuck no

sleepinginmygrave

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

willisiam-woodiam

@theshitpostcalligrapher can you do satan’s asshole tasting like mint pls

theshitpostcalligrapher

oh my god this is one of the ANCIENT texts, i remember first seeing post like ten years ago

ink: diamine firestorm

subcultureblues

love when ppl ask to see pics of my axolotl and are expecting something cute + pink + all smiles and instead with genuine fear in their eyes, and in their heart, say WHAT the fuck is that.

subcultureblues

demon

subcultureblues

“aw she’s cute 💕” you fool. Average 7inch Adult Axolotl for scale

subcultureblues

everyone in the comments : STOP calling The Leviathan adorable you’re making her insecure!!!!!!!!!!!! She’s a wicked, malevolent creature of darkness and you WILL show her some respect!!!

talesfromtreatment

*delighted gasp*

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podcastwizard

affirmations for writers: i know how to write. i have seen sentences before, and i know how to make one. i can identify up to several words and their meanings. i am not afraid of semicolons.

hellsite-testing-ground

˙ʇɐqʇᴉnɹɟ ɐ ǝɯoɔǝq oʇ pǝpᴉɔǝp ǝʌ,I

cy-lindric

Started a new vest project this week ! Test swatch + bottom section ⛪🌿

obesecamels

ERRATA

Add to cart $6.50US Originally published in The Unofficial Harry Potter Knits magazine (July, 2013). Subsequently published in: Boo

#I crave the fair isle

ladyshinga

obsessed w/him actually

obesecamels

THIS IS A DIGITAL PATTERN. NOT A PHYSICAL PRODUCT. Please feel free to sell what you make from my patterns. This Very Hungry Caterpillar com

Thanks to @aquatic-equestrian for finding the pattern and posting it in the notes!

#This is what I needed in my life

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

google's useless. tumblr tell me something fun about cuttlefish idegafanymore

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

Loving the notes:

as with octopodes, cuttlefish have donut shaped brains. the esophagus passes through the center, which is why they straight up die if they try to swallow anything too big! stretched out the brain :(

cuttlefish are filled with love, as demonstrated by their 3 hearts

but they are also filled with venom. good for them!

oh and also blue-green blood. yes they have teal blood, i love that for them

smaller male cuttlefish will disguise themselves as female in order to mate with females who are guarded by large males. sometimes they even use fake egg sacs as props. let's hear it for transfem lesbian cuttlefish!

btw their eggs look like boba, which is why mermaids add them to beverages

their pupils look like this:

they have an internal shell called the "cuttlebone." (it is not an actual bone, as cuttlefish don't have bones.) they use it to control buoyancy, and it's freaky:

multiple people replied with "cuttlefish are fish." they're not. they! are! mollusks!

and of course by far the most important cuttlefish fact, they change color for hunting, camouflage, and disguise purposes.

say thank you to our beautiful rainbow murder mollusks!!!

radiant-cuttlefish

CUTTLEFISH MENTION !!! YAY YIPPEE

I will also add:

- They have 8 shorter arms (the ones you see) and two long tentacles that are normally kept hidden except for when they burst out to grab their prey like this:

- after they catch their prey successfully they will occasionally do a little flash of a different colour. It's currently uncertain why they do this, but one theory is that it's an involuntary response to being happy at having food!

- many sources, including the BBC, have claimed that they rapidly flash different colours before catching prey to "hypnotise" them. The current scientific consensus is that that's probably not really true. Instead, it's likely that they do it to break up their silhouette and so the prey isn't really sure what they're seeing - think like zebra stripes but strobing!

- they can change texture as well as colour. Since their skin is almost entirely muscle, they can make elaborate shapes and patterns out of their skin by retracting some muscles. That's why they sometimes look very spiky and sometimes very smooth

- Some of the smallest species of cuttlefish, particularly the flamboyant cuttlefish, Ascarosepion pfefferi, are so small that their cuttlebone doesn't even work as a flotation device, so they have to waddle around on the seafloor instead and it's so so cute

Please tell me if I got anything wrong btw I'm not an expert just extremely autistic ^.^

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sexuallyfrustratedavocado

everyone talks about how strong and great Aragorn was for refusing the ring when Frodo offered it to him as if this man has not spent his entire life dodging leadership and responsibilities like bullets in the matrix 🙄

turnip--head

My poor reluctant king, forced to take up Adult Responsibility

#The scariest thing ever #This is what I named my minecraft dog

emilyscartoons

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