moist gentleman

not my laboratory not my Creature

playing stupid games but im really bad at them so im not even winning the stupid prizes

tuesday status?

yup. its tuesday 👍

copy. tuesday confirmed ✅ engaging tuesday protocol

omg finally

i’m going to blow up everything forever.

notice how everyones 30 now

are you gonna pick those penne noodles out of the boiling water one by one like a man, or are you gonna use a strainer like some kind of democrat?

feng shui sabotage by placing thousands of tiny ball bearings in a bag under your couch you won't see them but you'll feel the clutter

I was born in the exact right generation I love being an unmarried woman in my twenties with my own bank account and no children

I fell a little bit asleep and dreamt that I could hear my cat's thoughts. I heard him just think, "I'm a pretty little man" and then start kneading my ribs, and I laughed so hard I woke up to him on my ribs

girl it’s just a 3 day trip, you do not need to bring your terracotta warriors 🙄

*packing my suitcase for a 3 day trip* hm, but what if I need my terracotta warriors..

i don’t want to be angry anymore i’m never going to hate again unless someone says something really stupid or if i see something i don’t like at all or maybe just whenever i feel like it