the blog of truth

“A modern retelling” oh so you mean worse

“A Muppet retelling” oh so you mean better

if you’re on tumblr and over the age of 24 it means the mental illness won

Bruh your cat is getting ratatouille'd

i was about to talk shit on how impractical round food storage containers are when fridges are square but if we didn't have them then where would soup go? certainly not a square container

i have soup in a rectangular container in my fridge rn

that's fucked up bro

i respect people who want to keep their menstruation to themselves but i have to make it everyone's problem. Literally if it was socially acceptable to lead every conversation with "I'm menstruating" i would.

enemies to lovers but with myself

“yea so anyway i can levitate fish with my mind pretty cool huh”

the dog said this

Religion: CATHOLIC

i took a nap and woke up in all these goddam spinanch