good news everyone

titsay
Today's Document

ā
Stranger Things
NASA
Monterey Bay Aquarium

izzy's playlists!

Discoholic šŖ©
$LAYYYTER
cherry valley forever
Keni
Show & Tell
occasionally subtle
Acquired Stardust
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

Andulka
Peter Solarz

"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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@tuffetspider
good news everyone

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when i get my eating habits right and start exercising and read more books and engage with fulfilling hobbies and figure out how investing works and find all the good places to hike near me and adopt a new pet and learn a new language and get my migraines and anemia and acid reflux under control. then you will realize
unauthorized fucking thing!!!!!!
(warning: loud chirping throughout)
source: hellgate osprey cam
almost stepped on babey in grass. feel a bit stupid now i think thats one of mine
scary branch fell on me it was very scary I thought I was being eeted so if yuo woud like to support deer in this dificult time plees send vegtobels to address the woods

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well maybe headlites should not be so bright adn mesmerizing did you ever think of that. i bet not
The Odyssey but retold as a low-stakes modern adventure of one guy out with his girlfriend leaving the bar with his buddies to do just one (1) simple thing real quick, it'll take like 15 minutes tops, he'll be right back, but then some bullshit happens and the trip keeps getting more complicated as more bullshit keeps happening while he just tries to get back to the bar because he promised his girlfriend that he'd get back and he knows that she's still there because she told him she'd wait there.
And by the time he finally gets back it's almost 3 am and the bar is about to close while she's sitting there stone cold sober, surrounded by 5 drunk guys unsuccessfully trying to convince her to give up on waiting for him and go home with one of them instead. And the guy shows up to proceed to beat the shit out of them before explaining himself to her like hey sorry bullshit kept happening, my phone fell into a storm drain and my wallet got stolen when I was trying to find someone who'd borrow me a phone so I could call and
His girlfriend had been fending off the 5 drunk guys for most of the evening by explaining that even if she was going to ditch her boyfriend, she can't possibly leave without finishing her beer, which she is keeping perpetually full via careful sleight of hand where she's just pouring it back and forth into and out of the pitcher.
However the drunk guys are also drinking, and eventually she can't afford to buy another pitcher for the table so she can't keep up the ever-full beer glass trick. At this point she has to resort to setting up the pool trick shot that she's never seen anyone but her boyfriend pull off, and says she'll leave with whoever manages the shot first.
That buys her another hour or so and then, finally, her boyfriend makes it back. He looks like shit, hair down and just a mess, he's wearing an entirely different jacket that he got from an alley, and barely recognizableāespecially to 5 guys who've been drunk for hours now. He lurks for a minute, finds out what's going on, and proceeds to pull off the trick shot first try. Throws the jacket off, fixes his hair with a hair tie his girlfriend lends him, finally looks like himself again, and THEN beats the shit out of them with the pool cue.
yuh i was there, that's how it happened
Unrelated to RPGs, but I had a dream where I had the rules of heaven explained to me, and here they are:
Any animal you put salt on goes to heaven with you when you die (there are lots of slugs in heaven).
If you insult a Pokemon even once, believe it or not? Straight to hell.
(Incidentally, Hell recently stopped tormenting people because they're trying to find the soul of Walter White from Breaking Bad. The demons thought it was a documentary and the damned don't want to correct them, you know?)
Heaven has a library with every book and a library with every magazine. When you die, you have to choose which you want before you can go to Heaven.
Every ten years you get vacation days and can go to either earth or hell. They recommend earth but it's your choice really.
The damned also get vacation days. Please don't bother the damned souls while they're up here, they have it bad enough already.
God is a horse. Please don't bring it up, he's pretty sensitive about it.
If you have issues with Heaven, don't worry! There's a basement and if you complain, you get to go in the basement until you stop complaining.
Contrary to popular belief, heaven doesn't last forever. It lasts for an average of 10 billion years (depending on how much technology you want in your heaven house). At the end, you turn into a cake and everyone eats you.
Please remake your setting's celestial planes in accordance with these rules, thank you.
Pencil
depressed steampunk guy: like nothing makes me happy anymore i feel like my fantastical flying contraption just ran out of coal
do you think steam just magically comes out of nowhere im so sick of these people who dont understand steampunk it makes me want to get into my submersible bathysphere and never reemerge
Steam. Is. Water. Coal. Makes. Smoke.
what is the coal doing to the water
Makes sense to me
I mean, unless it's a Finnish steam steam engine, which will have a decorative wood car. (Okay, plenty of other places had wood-burning steam engines. But we had a lot of them. Including the largest wood-burning locos in the world).
crush totally wasn't impressed by my miraculous flying machine fml
oh my god i just saw her get onto an airship with a woman whose tophat has at least twice as many sprockets as mine. i will be killing myself with an elaborate pneumatic pistol tonight

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Soviet swimmer Maria Havrish congratulates her rival Elena Kovalenko, who defeated her in the breaststroke competition at the Spartakiad of the Peoples of the USSR in Moscow, 1956 (photo by Lisa Larsen)
11 year old border collie: gets a special shot for his chronic back pain this morning
2pm: "where's the dog he can't possibly have jumped over the fence"
3pm: "hi i live in [another village]! I got your dog here, if you can come fetch him?"
"well at least that new medication is working š"
tumblr ads have finally dialed into what the average tumblr user cares about
āLying Odysseus replied, āI will tell you the truth completely.āā
ā Odyssey 24.303-4, trans. Emily Wilson
my camel straight up told me "man i am not carrying another fucking straw" like wtf asshole its just one straw whats your fucking issue

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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āIf I had time travel Iād kill Hitlerā āIf I had time travel Iād stop my favourite politician getting assassinatedā youāre all thinking way too small. If I had time travel Iād stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.
Good Job.
#this post gets me every timeĀ
Itās from two days ago fam how many times could there have been
do you think no one else has time travel
Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.
#surprise reblog!!Ā
STOP ITāS BEEN MONTHS. MONTHS!
YOU CAN STOP.
wow if only you had a time machine
Honestly having reached a billion notes I think itās safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.
Iām killing your parents before youāre born
Still here, whyād you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian
Your mumās ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. Iām your dad now.
Isnāt that the plot of Terminator
Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?
This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I canāt even
Imagine how I feel
POST, LIVE FOREVER!!!!!!
It doesnāt have to
Yes it does.
Of course it has to, it gets a billion notes in 2041
We all know who needs to be @ād
@hellsite-hall-of-fame
No, no it isnāt.
this gif is perfectly timed because it gives you enough time to read it, comprehend it, and still have this too-long-for-comfort moment of suspense before being punched square in the solar plexus
A scene from a Star Wars movie plays out, but with different captions.
The captions say, in order:
āI made this into a GIFā
āItās the Rickroll right?
There are no captions in the third image.
āItās the Rickroll, right?ā
There is a pause, and then the image changes to show a scene from Monty Python and it is captioned
āNobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!ā
A scene from a Star
Wars movie plays out, but with
different captions.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.