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@tuck-and-roll32

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Gotta make money somehow
The older this gets the funnier it is
bro why were you diggingâŚ. what did you bury bro⌠just put your sweet lips on mine dudeâŚ.. letâs just kiss like real people do bro
Marvel Movies ranked by if there are trains in them
Iron Man- 0/10. No trains.Â
The Incredible Hulk- 1/10. No trains, but a verbal reference to the subway.
Iron Man 2- -100/10. No trains, negative 100 points for a cameo by train-hater Elon Musk
Thor- 0/10. No trains in space :(
Captain America: The First Avenger- 7/10. Cool train heist scene, and monorails go by at the Worldâs Fair
The Avengers- 3/10. A freight train goes by at the beginning. Cap tells the police to get people into the subway, giving hope for more train content that goes unfulfilled. The only scene of Cap riding the subway was deleted.
Iron Man 3- 0/10. No trains.
Thor: The Dark World- 10/10 THOR RIDES THE TRAIN
Captain America: The Winter Soldier- 0/10. No trains.
Guardians of the Galaxy- 0/10. Still no trains in space :(
Avengers: Age of Ultron- 6/10. Okay action scene involving stopping a train.Â
Ant-Man- 9/10. Fight scene involving Thomas the Tank Engine!!!!
Captain America: Civil War- 1/10. Cap and Sharon meet next to high-speed rail tracks but no trains go by.Â
Doctor Strange- 6/10. Subways go flying by in the mirror dimension!
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2- 0/10. Still no trains in space :(
Spiderman: Homecoming- 10/10! Peter âNumtotâ Parker rides on the train several times and also crashes a car for good measure
Thor: Ragnarok: 0/10. Someone better get some trains in space real soonÂ
Black Panther: 7/10. Cool Wakandan tram goes down the street, and the finale involves a vibranium train!
Avengers: Infinity War: 6/10. Cap emerges from behind a moving train!!
Ant-Man and the Wasp: 0/10. No trains.
Captain Marvel: 11/10 THERE ARE TRAINS IN SPACE!!! TRAINS IN SPACE!!! THERE ARE FINALLY TRAINS IN SPACE!!!! also she rides a train on earth too!!! Carol Danvers: queen of public transportation and my heart
Avengers: Endgame: 0/10. No trains.
that child is now dead
uhh literally thatâs not true. according to the update this child is on the autism spectrum, and he was given the opportunity to meet the artistic director. donât spread misinformation. many orchestras are becoming more inclusive and less snobby.
thanks i was worried the orchestra killed the child

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Actual 3-year-old Tony Stark, everyone.Â
I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR THIS LAST NIGHT AND COULDNâT FIND IT.
JENGA MASTER!
(Source)
Sometimes absolute obliviousness is a useful skill.Â
we were robbed of this reunion
tony stark didnt die until he was canonically established as spidermans father figure
The Parker curse
jake gyllenhaal: ive got you now, spider man! this is where you meet your end!
peter: youre like a father to me
jake gyllenhaal dying on the spot: what the fuck
spiderman been putting the âeâ in âdadâ for half a century
deadpool: and THEN, son, my boy, the light and joy of my life, they were all like -
peter, on the other side of the table where deadpool took him out for icecream, suspiciously licking his mint choc chip: are u sure u donât have an ulterior motive u seem like u have an ulterior m
deadpool, sexting Death under the table: what no
could u imagine if ppl talked about catholicism the same way they talked about like⌠indigenous pplâs religionsâŚ.
girl in horror movie holding a bible open: âaccording to legend, a mob tortured a half-man, half-god, and nailed him to a wooden cross, leaving him to starve to death. But days later, on this very night, they found he had clawed his way out of the grave. Now those who believe lie in wait for him to rise again, To honour him, they have weekly gatherings where they chant and sing, and at the end of it they eat his flesh and blood.â
girlâs friend: âwow.. thats so creepyâŚâ
horror movie jock: âitâs only a myth, donât worryâ

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me, circa early 1800s, paying a stable boy a few coppers to ride overnight to deliver you an urgent letter with a thick wax seal that after you struggle to break it just says âbitch!â in tiny little writingÂ
no no no, you donât understand the true level of spiteful here. The sender of a letter didnât pay for the post in 1800. The receiver did. You just made your enemy pay for the privilege of being insulted.
Iâm starting to see why messengers were gettinâ shot
Brie Larson and Samuel L. Jackson singing No Doubtâs âJust a Girlâ
The Captain Marvel deleted scenes are pretty fucking great
Brieâs face is everything
A Christmas Carol is so wild to me because it takes not one, not two, but like four fucking ghosts to convince this dude not to be the biggest douche in the universe. Like, four fucking ghosts came back from the dead, rose from the Goddamn grave to be like, âI came back from the dead because you need to quit your shit.â Fuck. How big of an asshole do you have to be to have four fucking ghosts tell you to stop?
Have you ever met a rich capitalist
Also, one of those ghosts was a rich capitalist douche. He needed to reform Scrooge to work off his own sentence, didnât he?
Marleyâs ghost basically told Scrooge that if he kept being a greedy douchebag he would go to hell and Scrooge still needed convincing and that honestly is 100% believable to me
That an old rich white guy being told âYour going to hell unless you help the poorâ would respond by going âI still kind of want to NOT help the poor tho?â
Charlie Dickens knew what was up.
Dickens had to work in a factory hos entire childhood. His father was thrown in a debtorâs prison. Thats why all his stories are about rich fucks getting owned.
The thing I love about A Christmas Carol is that at the time he wrote it, Christmas, as a holiday, was on par with our Arbor Day. And Scrooge held the Majority Opinion.Â
 Dickens originally set out to write a Very Serious Pamphlet About the Plight of the Poor in Modern Times, with numbers, and statistics, and gruesome details about the state of debtors prisons. And he realized that it would probably not change a single thing, in the end.
So he changed it to fiction, and made it emotional, and focused on the lives in one specific family. And he also self-published it, because he realized that a for-profit publishing house wouldnât want to touch it. And gave it to friends.
Not only did it help change peopleâs attitudes toward charity organizations and help reform labor laws, it also (pretty much) revived the whole custom of celebrating Christmas at all.
That, my friends, is the power of a well written ghost story.
I just looked up this to see if this was true and it is!
The pamphlet was going to be called âAn Appeal to the People of England, on behalf of the Poor Manâs Childâ
He decided to write the story because he realised that soap-boxing factory workers and their employers on the importance of educational reform wasnât going to work on a society-wide scale.
A Christmas Carol is literally a leftist/socialist story about not being a dickwad to your employees because theyâre human too, your âfellow manâ
Game of Ron

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okay, gotta say, iâve seen a bunch of these before, but âi wish to harm the melody machineâ may possibly be the funniest goddamn one of them a l l