i am the Great Cornholio

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

boy go get me my pringle

she suck on my mysterious artifact and I'm like hey don't do that

fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest

save me, rice mixed with some bullshit

A polling group that never read accounts of of the children were executed.

oh my god Harambe had kids?

wait here while my manservant fetches the anti-elf rifle

I met every single creepy pasta and they wre all nice to me

if anything happens in your life you should start having strange thoughts and beliefs

im the person they keep adding gratuitous & unnecessary violence & sex in movies for. im running every studio executive ragged asking for even more cock & gore in cinema they simply cant keep up

i tend to avoid discourse because most of it is trite and pointless but just this once i feel like i need to state my opinion: i think everyone should bend to my dark and evil will

in a way i am my own dead wife

I like when construction workers spray paint their strange sigils on the pavement

i love saving images onto my cell phone. it’s like picking berries

i can be trusted around the box of ice cream sandwiches in your freezer

i was abandoned as a baby & raised by a wild pack of cigarettes