love, babybluelukex

  Harry can practically feel the weight of the world on his shoulders and he realizes that he’s never really liked it.

  He slept last night all soundly and comfortably, in the comfort of his own home (it’s not that he hated sleeping in other places; just happens to be that they don’t offer the same exact warmth and familiarity his own roof brings) and in your grasp that has his waist coiled snugly by your arm, his face buried to your neck and your legs wrapped around his; it’s not that he hates it either when he’s not sleeping with you. Just practically would take him a solid hour to fall asleep because no amount of memory-foam pillows and silk pillowcases, or fluffy and heavy hotel pillows and recycled cum-ridden pillowcases, could never make up for you.

  His sleep was probably only the best thing that’s ever happened in the past twenty-four hours though.

   Quite a rude awakening for him when his personal phone rings at what he thinks is 7 A.M. in the wee morning in which no one from the both of you is awake, and he thinks it must be his mum or his sister because no one else calls that unexpectedly and early.

  So he takes it as he hushes his raspy morning voice a little in preparation for him to speak and he’s squinting his eyes because they had a hard time adjusting to his phone a lot more difficulty these days, and the curtains aren’t drawn at all so he takes his time and he doesn’t know if he’s lucky at all because there it is.

 Jeffrey Azoff.

 Harry should be happy, sure, because that’s his manager and his friend, right? But no, he isn’t at all because Jeff Azoff as what the screen reads, is the name saved for his friend’s bloody work phone and he’d be delighted if it’s Jeff because that means it’s his personal – and god does it make him irritated and he hates it when this happens.

 There’s literally a reason on why he’s already color-coded his two phones, not only because he didn’t want to have them mixed up just like his creative Instagram post with his shoes having sticky notes on which is the left and which is the right, but because there’s a barrier that separates what he wants to leave at the studio and take back home with him.

 He knows that’s beyond impossible with the lifestyle and the job he has but he couldn’t dislike Jeff more now – now that he knows he’s sure he turned off his work phone for the night and that work is literally ringing him up on his personal.

“Harry! Hi, mate! Is now a bad time or something?”

“Do you want me to answer that, Jeffrey?”

  He quips back and his friend immediately knows that it was a really bad time, added with the fact that the younger lad calls him his whole first name if he’s either just having a crack at him or just pissed with him; and it’s for sure that his tone wasn’t in the least bit playful.

   Harry then begrudgingly agrees to have some meetings and do some studio sessions in a minute’s notice as per usual, leading him to take a hot shower and cuss himself out as quietly as possible to not wake you up all the way to his closet, the cold air of the room nipping at him and making him want to leave the house later than usual.

  He couldn’t enjoy dressing up either because he knows he doesn’t have time, grabbing his comfortable trousers instead of his tight black jeans because he isn’t in the mood to shimmy in them and pull them up every few minutes, slipping on a hoodie (which he realizes later that it was Gucci resulting him to just give a side-eye to Jeff who’s giving him a roast trying to lighten him up) and grabbing himself a granola bar, making a mental note to get himself some proper breakfast he didn’t want to suppress his body’s needs just for a session.

“Thought it was supposed to be our day.”

“Thought so too, lovie.”

  Harry, with more desperation and urgency than ever, just wanted to leave so he could go home faster and earlier now that he’s seen you awake, bundled in a comforter just sleepily looking at him before closing your eyes again.

“I’ll be back before you know it, bub. I love you, m’kay? Text me when you’ve eaten breakfast.”

  Then he’d leave after that and some kisses, driving himself to the studio and he doesn’t actually know whether to be happy or to be mad at the facts that there’s no traffic at all and that he’s never been chanced with a red stoplight.

  He’ll be entering and he realizes too that maybe he really should’ve stayed at home with Jeff’s plan for the day which was to look at how the writing would go which will last for an hour, then meetings after that, a lunch break, and even more meetings and by the end, another little writing and recording session.

  His friend’s smiling hesitantly and gratefully, clutching Harry’s favorite smoothie as a little apology even the both of them know that it’s not quite enough but he still takes it from his hands, peering at the translucent lid to see if it was his favorite (and it indeed was) and that earns Jeff a brief nod and the faintest good morning.

  Things go a little better after that but he really had to speak so prematurely because the minute his mind blanks on thinking of another word that would go with oblivious and still can’t think of it even if he’s already looked at the thesaurus on the Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary app on his phone – he knew everything would be a mess.

  The first session ended with him being stuck on a line and Harry hates it.

  Then comes the meetings and it was so physically draining, and he hasn’t cracked a joke since this two-hour meeting started and Jeff’s worried as he’s trying to nudge his foot with his to try and get him to participate a little more and stop him from looking at his lap continuously.

  Lunch soon came and he’s never really felt this desperate for fast food, having his order all done in not less than fifteen minutes and he has a lot more time to spare, sadly sipping his iced tea as he’s FaceTiming you, talking about on what to do as soon as he gets home and he’s going all soft and mushy and maybe a little bit naughty as he thinks of it further.

  The conversation even goes to Evie and the both of you going back to Holmes Chapel again because Anne and her cooking is very much missed as of the moment.

  And fucking Jeffrey had to ruin it again as what Harry thinks when he’s heard an obnoxious yet shy clearing of a throat, groaning under his breath as he looks into the screen and bids his goodbyes.

  The meeting after was longer but maybe a bit more tolerable now because Hary has had his fix of you, and he remembers you by your previous conversation about a new dining table, and this wood in front of him looks pretty promising and would probably be liked by the two of you; so interested in it that he slyly knocks on the bottom of it to see if it was concrete or hollow wood and it’s concrete so that’s another point added.

  The last studio session started at 6, and it probably has to be his most hated thing he’s done in that day as far as he knows.

  Already found a word that would go with oblivious but when he sings it to himself, that’s when he feels horrible.

  He literally couldn’t hit the notes and write the lyrics he was hoping for; and then he comes back home at 10 with absolutely both nothing and everything on his mind.

   And with that, you couldn’t really blame Harry for entering through the door looking all pissed and gloomy, his hoodie’s sleeves that were just hiked up to his elbows awhile ago were now pooling on his knuckles, hair all curly and unkempt as you both know he’s run his hands through them that no one could keep track; posture all slouched and his lips full-on frowned.

   You couldn’t really blame him either for ignoring all your texts and calls within the past hours, having remembered that you’ve only taken a leave today when you shouldn’t have and then realized it’s all for nothing.

   Couldn’t really blame him too when he just falls on top of you while you’re lying on the couch, head slack against your neck as he just continues to mope on how much he does not like this day.

   “S’all over now, H.”

   You’d soothe him, and he needs to be brought down a little from the fact that the draining part of his day (that’s mostly his day now) was all finished and it’s time for him to remember things would be back to the state the both of you were in before Jeff called.

   He could feel the heaviness in his shoulders and all the knots from his nape until the tips of his fingers and he thinks he’s huffing, feeling your hands tangle themselves in his hair as they’re pressing to his scalp in the most pressure-relieving ways, fingers extending to the back of his ears and back to his lower neck that makes him shudder.

   “I was looking at tables today, then y’know what?”

   Harry hears your soft voice interrupt his quiet and it makes his shut eyes open that are still adjusting the the dim lights of the living room, giving you a side-eye as he’s laying on your lap with his head facing your tummy, looking to see if you really were talking, right now.

   “Sent me a picture of one awhile ago, right? I see the same exact one on this website!”

   He’s having a proper headache and he thinks your squeal may have amplified it twofold, and he doesn’t know if it’s a squeal either because the only voice in his head that’s been playing was his singing a part of his unfinished song frustratedly, giving you a benefit of the doubt.

   Harry then remembers that he hasn’t replied to any of your attempts in reaching him, and even if he did, it was done not longer than an hour and he thinks this was your way of making up what he hasn’t responded to, and his voice is literally just itching in his throat ti come and tell please don’t fucking do this yet he still has a thin film of patience left in him.

   He’d count to ten.

   One.

   Your intention wasn’t meant to even irritate him at all. In fact, they were beyond genuine and for God’s sake, you just wanted to tell him about your day that didn’t go as planned, yet your faint excitement for it that was reduced from something bigger irked him.

   Two.

   Harry really thinks you’re doing this on purpose and now he wants to dodge your fingers that are combing through his hair if he doesn’t have the least bit of patience left in him, and his eyes are basically just pleading for you to stop talking since he really didn’t want to let this out on you.

   Three.

   The topic’s moved on to Evie now.

   Four.

   His jaw’s all clenched now and he really held on to the last statement and its pause because no matter how much he had a soft spot for the little furry creature, his soft spot for you who’s looking cuddly and warm is dangerously getting thin, gone if he’s being honest since you’re not showing any signs of stopping and-

   “Shut up, Y/N.”

   Harry didn’t even make it to five, and he must’ve raised his voice or something because he’s met with shocked and utter silence.

   And the bad part of him actually thinks it’s the quiet he needs for the rest of his life the day.

   He didn’t say it by a yell; just said it with so much irritation and anger laced with his deep and raspy voice that amounted to a yell in impact, and if not, even put the impact of yelling to shame.

   He looks ridiculous having done that as he’s still laying on the lap of the person he’s just done it to, oblivious to the fact that his hair isn’t being combed through anymore and that you’re looking at him with mixed emotions; brows knotted and lips pursed.

   “Maybe I should break up with you.”

   Harry mumbles, just as if what he’s previously said isn’t already enough.

   Conscience isn’t on his mind as he’s speaking and in all honesty, he doesn’t know where all this is coming from and even if he does, he still won’t believe that he’s spewing and doing all these things just because of his day that didn’t favor him.

   “Think I can’t do it when you’re being like this.”

   Harry adds the final nail to his coffin and it hasn’t dawned in him that he shouldn’t have, even if you’re nudging his head and his whole figure up and away from you.

   You could feel the insecurity and anger coursing through your veins and you think you’re just about to explode, maybe in tears or in a fit but you don’t know, just as he doesn’t know what he’s done and how much he’s screwed up because in all honesty, how fucking dare him would be the question he’d ask to himself if he isn’t this clouded.

   He’s standing up on his feet, everything just happening so quickly that he’s hearing your semi-heavy steps on the stairs until you reach the shared bedroom with him in the same path, yet he isn’t there behind you to chase you down; he’s there to just sleep.

   You know it and you hate it and you want to sleep on one of the guest rooms but you know you couldn’t because you don’t want to sacrifice your sleep (even if there’s an unresolved misunderstanding that would’ve become a full-on fight if he wasn’t that tired and if you weren’t that hurt) over him.

   Harry sleeps soundly that night.

   And Harry wakes up shitty the next morning.

   Gotten more than eight hours of sleep yet he’s feeling hazy, until he sees you aren’t beside him and he reckons that today’s Saturday and it’s your supposed break but you’re nowhere to be seen, your side of the bed organized that made him think if you even slept next to him in the first place and it puts down a swirling feeling in his stomach.

   “L-love?”

   He tries calling out and isn’t even sure whether he should be anticipating for the worst if it does come down to that, or if he should stay positive.

   First thought was to look at the cabinets and there’s not a single article of clothing that’s been taken nor a single duffel bag missing, and it gives Harry some sort of comfort.

   Second was to come down to see if you’re eating breakfast and he doesn’t find you there, or even a plate at the sink that would signify that you were there and he’s actually nervous now.

   Why the fuck did he have to say those things?

   Third was to ring up a friend that he knows from your work, only to know you’ve made up for your absence (that wasn’t that fully permitted in the first place) yesterday.

   “Do you know when she’d be coming home?”

   Harry has the nerve to ask the lad and he knows that he should ask you himself but it’s an odd sense of deja vu when he’ll do it because he’s sure that this is probably what you’ve felt yesterday when you were ringing him up.

   “Don’t know, mate.”

   He’s answered with and he regrets even asking in the first place because that wasn’t the answer he wanted at all.

   He’s basically stagnant now that he knows and realizes what he’s done, and the fact he didn’t apologize at all when he should’ve brings him a mass of guilt that makes him look at his lunch emptily and sadly.

   Harry feels like crying in all honesty, his words replaying in his head in a loop that if you were to say them to him, he’d be a bawling mess in no time and he’s so close to being one as of the moment, not knowing what to do and it’s only two in the afternoon.

   You didn’t come home until seven hours later.

   With your shoulders slumped as if you’re carrying the weight of the world with you, your face crestfallen, your lips in a frown and your entire being just being over everything; he realizes.

   Harry realizes that it hurts this much looking at your love that looks so tired and helpless, with no idea in your head on how you’re gonna try and take it out of them for good.

   What’s happening now was a replay of yesterday, only things that changed was you being the one to come home completely drained, and that you don’t fall on top of Harry.

   “I’m sorry.”

   Harry suddenly says when he sees you move past him and up the stairs and it’s familiar that it registers to him that you’re leaving him and completely over with him, feeling so small when you look back at him blankly.

   “If it means anything now.”

   He whispers under his breath and he thinks it’s pathetic because would those words take back what he just said?

   He finds himself following you again up the steps, but this time he’s following because he wants you and wants to ask forgiveness from you (he thinks he doesn’t really deserve it) and not because he just wants to sleep.

   Your eyes are a little red and puffy too and then it dawns completely over Harry.

   “I don’t wanna break up with you.”

   He whispers to himself first because he thinks he’s gonna flip when he says it out loud because he can’t stomach the thought, much more welcome the idea of it as he’s shaking his head badly.

   Tears are springing to his eyes so quickly that Harry doesn’t realize he’s tearing up as instantly as they came, bottom lip trembling as he’s walking over to you with his hands shaking.

   “Really don’t want to.”

   He’s a little frantic as he’s uttering the words, finding himself just hugging your standing tired figure suddenly that he doesn’t realize he’s sobbing by now.

   With shaky hands does Harry wrap his arms around your waist and bury his head to your neck, staining it with his tears as you’ve gotten the conscience now to acknowledge him who’s done nothing but regret as his activity today; a comforting hand running through hair that makes him sniffle and hiccup.

Hey yall. This is my prompt list and I’m accepting requests for Stranger Things, Riverdale, and 5 Seconds of Summer! Please send in two at a time. Love you guys!

Angst:

1.) “I can’t do this alone.”

2.) “I can’t find myself.”

3.) “I cant fucking believe you, how could you do this?”

4.) “Seriously, right here? Right now?”

5.) “I’ve heard a lot about you. And it hasn’t been all good things.”

6.) “You don’t give a shit about me! Let alone this relationship.”

7.) “How could you lie to me? Was one lie really worth it?”

8.) “I need your fucking help. Have you ever thought of that?”

9.) “Did I fucking stutter? No, I don’t think I did.”

10.) “What the fuck happened?”

11.) “Please, I’m begging you. Dont walk away from me, I need you.”

12.) “If you walk out that door, I swear to God.”

13.) “Why won’t you talk to me?”

14.) “Stop with the fucking silent treatment.”

15.) “Will you shut up and let me talk?”

16.) “You’re a monster.”

17.) “I lost the baby. I’m so sorry.”

18.) “I don’t know what to fight for anymore.”

19.) “I thought you loved me. Guess that was my fault to actually believe it.”

20. “I don’t need you. I never will.”

Smut:

21.) “I want it to hurt. I need it to hurt.”

22.) “Fuck me like I’m the last person on earth.”

23.) “Get on your knees, princess.”

24.) “Make me yours.”

25.) “Stop teasing me.”

26.) “You are so getting it when we get home.”

27.) “Strip. Now.”

28.) “Bend over, I want to see all of you.”

29.) “I’ve been waiting.”

30.) “Let me show you how much I love you.”

31.) “Spank me, daddy.”

32.) “Woah, that’s new.”

33.) “All for you, baby.”

34.) “What did you just say?”

35.) “It’s your first time?”

36.) “Good boy.”

37.) “You like being choked?”

38.) “That’s right, baby. Pull my hair.”

39.) “Harder.”

40.) “Don’t be self conscious, baby.”

Love:

41.) “I love you so much.”

42.) “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

43.) “Can we get a dog?”

44.) “Will you come on tour with me?”

45.) “We’re pregnant!”

46.) “I want to adopt.”

47.) “Surprise! I got your name tattooed.”

48.) “You make life so much more interesting.”

49.) “Move in with me.”

50.) “Did you just say you love me?”

51.) “You’re the love of my life.”

52.) “Do you believe in soulmates?”

53.) “Matching tattoos?”

54.) “Please hold me.”

55.) “I love your laugh.”

56.) “We’re already in a relationship, you dont need to hit on me.”

57.) “Let’s make a baby. Right here, right now.”

58.) “Even though you cant have a baby, we can adopt. I love you just as much.”

59.) “Thank you for being here, especially at my worst.”

@starryeyedauthor I had to. Will this become a thing? Who knows. I’m bad at following through with things but To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before is giving me feelings and I’m a slut for a good fake dating AU. Someone let me know if I should continue this.

“Okay,” Sweet Pea starts, leaning forward in his chair and bracing his forearms against the table, “and why should I go along with this?” He quirks a brow at him, dark eyes a mix of emotions that she can’t begin to follow. Sweet Pea wets his lips, glancing across the cafeteria at the table the Bulldogs are sitting at, several of them eyeing him and the girl who slid into the seat across from him not five minutes ago. His gaze slides back to her lazily. “Why should I pretend to date you?”

She only grins back, leaning forward in a mirror pose to him and giving him a half-shrug. “Because we have a mutual want to piss off Reggie Mantle.” A match made in heaven.

Sweet Pea hesitates for a moment, eyes narrowing in thought as he mulls over the offer she’s given him. He glances back at the Bulldogs’ table, locking eyes with Reggie, who sends him a nasty glare from across the room. “And this will piss him off?” Sweet Pea asks, a smirk beginning to form on his lips.

“His ex-girlfriend dating a big bad serpent?” she muses, also turning to look at Reggie for a moment, only turning back to Sweet Pea when Reggie’s gaze cuts to hers. “Oh, yeah.”

Hi guys! I’ve finally finished another one! I’m so sorry it took so long, I’ve been super busy this week. I think I may have drifted a little bit from the original request, but I tried to stay as true as possible. It’s also quite long, and angsty (and a lil inspired by an old song I rediscovered). I hope that’s okay! Please let me know what you think! 

Request: Can you do one where Y/N is Luke’s lifelong best friend who realizes she’s in love with him during the Arzaylea drama/aftermath and she’s so mad at him for letting that witch make him feel so bad? Please let it be angsty - for anon

Masterlist

Warnings: Angst? 

“Are you going to tell him?” Ashton’s voice was hushed behind me, but it still made me jump. Blinking at the stir fry sauce I was clutching between my fingers, I pursed my lips.

“Do you guys feel like sweet and sour for dinner night this weekend?” I mused, completely ignoring his question. I threw the packet into my trolley anyway, not waiting for Ashton.

“First of all, you know we’ll eat anything you cook. We’re animals.” Ashton mumbled, following me as I pushed my trolley down the aisle, his hands swinging beside him as we walked. He didn’t even have to be here. He’d told me he’d ordered his groceries online – not to mention that he risked being noticed. His baseball cap and dark hoodie wasn’t doing much to hide his identity.

Yeah, he didn’t have to be here. But he was. I don’t know how he did it, but somehow, he always knew when I was starting to reach the end of my tether, always ready to make sure I didn’t start pulling my hair out. I didn’t lose my cool a lot, but work had been stressful lately – not to mention that having an unplanned, uninvited house guest, was exhausting. Particularly when, once upon a time, I would never have considered him ‘uninvited’. 

Tag List: @alladeline  @rentopia  @scheherazades-horcrux  @attorneyl  @babybluelukex

Request: Hi! First off, I love your stories! Second, I was hoping you could write something with the reader and Kylo and the first time they say “I love you” to each other. The reader says it first and catches the supreme leader off guard.

Word Count: 1113

Brushing a hand through Kylo’s hair, you sat behind him on his couch so fixated on his hair. He had freshly blow dried it after taking a shower because of the sweat that had once covered him all over thanks to his most recent training session with you. You preferred to let your own hair dry naturally instead of using any head on it, it was bad for your locks. He normally didn’t use heat either - he was quite adamant about keeping it as healthy as he could - because it just wasn’t needed. But he knew that you had planned on visiting after the both of you showered in your personal quarters; he didn’t like showing off his wet hair to others, even you.

“You did amazing in training today Kylo, you never cease to amazing me,” you laughed a little in praise of his skills. You were really close to him, you were really one of the only few people that he would ever let into his life, see the softer side of him. While most saw him an intimidating Supreme Leader of the First Order, you simply saw him as Kylo. “it makes me jealous sometimes,” you had to joke, though you did wish that you could be as skilled as he was in combat. Not many could even come close to matching his skills.

“Oh, don’t sell yourself short. You’re showing substantial progress,” he claimed as he leaned into your comforting touch. He absolutely adored when you would rub a hand in his hair and even play with it. As the Supreme Leader, he had to keep those he really trusted close, you were one of them, if not the most important to him. He even convinced you to let him train with you so he could show you more than you already knew. It was so you would be able to protect yourself better, and it was just an excuse to spend more time the one he fell in love with.

“Are you being serious, or are you just trying to save my feelings Ren?” You inquired as you turned your head to look at him, his memorizing brown eyes catching yours in a gaze. I haven’t beaten the records in training that you’ve set for me. Sure I’m close with deflecting shots from that small droid, but I’m still behind on everything else.”

“You have to remember that even if you haven’t completed all of the goals that I set for you, there’s evident improvement, and you should be proud of that. Not many can do what you’re doing.”

“That’s because not everyone has someone as great as you to teach them,” you told him with a small laugh, taking your hand away from his raven locks. You couldn’t ask for a better mentor and friend than Kylo,  his skills were so impressive and he showed determination to show you everything that he knew.

“Not everyone has such an apprentice like you, who listens to everything that they suggest,” he couldn’t help but return the laugh. He rested his head on top of yours, letting out a soft sigh of content. “I still don’t know how I managed to meet someone like you. You are so amazing, I swear,” the man openly admitted. You had been so open to him, the first that was willing to let him into their lives and actually show that they cared. You were what he always wanted in his life. “I’m afraid that I’m going to lose that.”

You pursed your lips as he explained to you that he was afraid of losing you, it meant a lot to know that you had an important place in his heart, possibly the most significant. “You don’t have to worry about that, I’m not going anywhere,” you told him as you laced your fingers into his larger ones. “when I entered your life, I planned on staying for as long as I could help it, I’m here to stay.”

He smiled and pulled you on top of him to envelope you into an embrace. “You really are amazing, I don’t know what I ever did to deserve someone like you (Y/N),” he smiled as you let your hands trail back up to his hair. Resting your forehead against his own, your eyes were locked on his eyes. “I’m so grateful to have you in my life, I really mean it.”

You had so much to say to him, so much to confess and finally get off your chest. But there was just so much you didn’t know what to tell him. With your lips hovering close to his, you breathed out to him. “I love you,” he pushed you back a few inches so he could glance into your eyes in disbelief. You, loving him? Had you not said it for yourself, he never would have known it to be true. He smiled down to you and pull you closer, letting his lips dance against your own. Smiling against the kiss, you added. “I have for so long…”

He pulled away soon enough to catch his breath. “I love you too… so much,” had too wanted to confess his feelings for you, but with being like he was, he was always afraid that it would merely ruin what he already shared with you. He craved your touch so much, he always had. His chest would go warm whenever you would play with his hair, his heart beating faster when your hand and would graze against his own.

“I want you to know that you deserve every ounce of love that I have for you, so please do not think that you don’t,” you whispered to him softly, your hands trailing to his cheeks, the pads of your thumbs to caress his soft skin. You knew very well that he was always questioning how someone would care for him, why they would want to in the first place. You fell in love with the man he was behind what the First Order had built him up to be.

aw you are so lovely, bean <3