feel like I finally ‘get’ akito’s character. she doesn’t understand real friendships and bonds with other people because to her those are conditional – if no one is obligated to know you and be there for you, why should they? which explains her outburst to tohru about how if she ever cries, or complains, or acts in a way she doesn’t like, etc, tohru would not want to know her anymore, because isn’t that just how actual relationships free of obligation work?
it’s a very all-or-nothing view of relationships that makes sense with her past experiences. all of her life she was told she’d never be alone and was guaranteed affection from the other zodiac members because they had (unbreakable) bonds to her that they could do nothing about. in other words, it was an ‘unconditional’ relationship, but a forced and superficial one. they couldn’t disobey or properly leave akito, but barely anyone truly liked her because of her abysmal behaviour. this is also a situation in which akito can behave however she wants, even very badly, and still be assured that no one can leave her behind (ostensibly)
this is how she understands relationships. the other alternative is frightening for her: if all the zodiac ties break, and she lives how other people do, then there are no guarantees. no one can be forced to remain at your side. no one has an obligation to you. people have agency and choice, and because akito has never been taught how to have normal relationships with others, she’s convinced if people had a choice no one would choose to stay with her and, for that matter, she can’t comprehend how anyone would ever choose to stay by anyone’s side because people are inevitably going to act in a way you don’t expect, get upset with you, or otherwise let you down. how do people even maintain friendships? aren’t they totally conditional?
tohru on the other hand showcases healthy relationship-building (to a certain extent, I have some reservations about how her lack of boundaries and over-extending generosity are never challenged, but w/e). yes, nothing is guaranteed, but you can choose to get to know people and continually nurture your relationships to others by being attentive, caring, and showing up for others when they are at their lowest. and if you know good people, they will often choose to do the same because they have also invested so much in this relationship. people are not constantly waiting for their friends to screw up or become upset about something and then using that opportunity to drop them. most people cherish their relationships to others if they feel people are putting the effort in
akito has never had to put effort in and thus hasn’t had to consider how other people maintain close bonds. to her, everyone is always scheming, cold, and manipulative, ready to cast off anyone when they get the chance. it’s a lonely way to live for sure but nothing healthier was ever modelled for her
