i had some genuine social phobia when i was young. Never understood people, since i was a kid. Why they did what they did, why they felt or reacted the way they did. When i was a teen i was literally just afaird of humans noticing i existed in public. Cowered from them on the bus etc. it was bad.
Years passed and i went thru a lot of new experiences and transformations - it's a long story - but one day tripping in a lake i realized that everyone who lives, leaves a wake behind them. There is no way to not have an effect on the world around you - we all connect, we all ripple through each other. I realized i had to accept that i would hurt some peoples feelings, that some would hurt mine, that sometimes id do something deeply cringey and I'd just have to own up to it, just swallow down the humiliation and move on - so why not do it with grace? It also meant that i could have the power to inspire, to move others, to encourage them to try scary things, just like some people had done for me by that time in my life. I had encountered random and senseless generosity from random strangers by this point in my life and i knew the power this had.
I accepted it then: that i will move through the world and accept the effects of my footsteps in it. I will learn to step in a way i liked and could be proud of.
At some point, I realized the connective power of simply learning to be curious about other people. Simply Looking and Listening - how easily most people opened up when they experienced acceptance and interest from someone.
It's been quite a few years now. I figured out how to make socialization energize and fill me. I now have the Power of the Introvert AND the Power of the Extrovert. I am well known in my local community, i am very well liked and trusted, and very very commonly receive the lovely compliment that i am "extremely charismatic".
I am proud and humbled every time someone tells me this. They think im Just Like This. Ha! They don't know how far I've come, but i do. That scared teen who couldn't look anyone in the eye, who was scared of someone's elbow accidentally touching him - that teen sees me and knows and is filled with amazement and hope every time.
Im sure this could sound tacky and dumb to someone in the throes of their worst self hate and social anxiety, but i promise you that it is deeply possible to turn your life around in ways that you'd never even dare imagine. Life, and YOU, can surprise yourself so much if you let it.
Gently, slowly, with care and respect and a humility that doesn't require smallness.
kianamaiart
stormborns
turnnoffyourmind
annaxmalina
romaincrisis
izzy806
andulkaphoto
jacobvanloon
