My Dominion

A legendary demon cat is said to haunt the Capitol Building in Washington, DC. The cat allegedly appears before major tragedies and was reportedly seen by White House guards shortly before both JFK and Abe Lincoln were assassinated. Though the cat hasn’t been seen in years, some say a set of paw prints in the floor by the Old Supreme Court Chamber are proof of its existence.

Middle-aged white man in a grey button-down with black glasses speaking in front of a classroom of older teenagers: Hey, guys, listen up, I just wanna take a second to address because I know there have been some complaints with the pronoun issues and I just want you guys to know that I’m working on it. I respect all of you and your lifestyle choices, and in fact, last weekend I even went to the district’s mandated Gender-Bread Man Training.

(Flips slideshow to a picture of the gender-bread person)

Male-presenting student, loudly with their hands cupped around their mouth: It’s a Gender-Bread Person.

Man, shouting: WHATEVER! WHATEVER! I went to the training, okay?! All I’m asking in return from you guys is for you to stop calling me a boomer! I’M NOT A BABY BOOMER, YOU GUYS! I’m NOT A BOOMER!

And I can promise you that there absolutely positively were people back then who knew slavery was wrong, and voiced their opinion that slavery was evil. Starting with the slaves themselves.

And if the words of the slaves somehow isn’t good enough, then listen to what one of the founding fathers had to say about the evils of slavery: (x)

Saying people didn’t know any better is whitewashing history, and perpetuating a false image of white purity and innocence. Slavers knew exactly what they were doing. All in the name of free labor and profit. The exploitive nature of capitalism hasn’t changed very much. I’ll bet 100 years from now people will argue that Jeff Bezos didn’t know he was risking the lives of his employees in the middle of a pandemic. Because “times were different back then.”

My friends say "Oh you know, keeping busy." This means they are having a hard time but making themselves survive it. I ask them to help me walk me dog; this is me telling them it's okay sometimes to just be present and talk about young adult fiction. When I cancel again because I can't get out of bed, she tells me she's on her way with cookies.

I point out the sunset. She shares her fork before I ask for it. He calls me at 1 AM just because I'm on the road alone, we talk about stupid shit. She waits for me to get indoors safely before driving away. He says - nah, forget it, I'm happy to do it for free.