cute grandma grunge

if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"

Do not let your child suffer from spicy bananas!

BESPOKE

you can hire goons to digest lactose for you

i may have my father's worst traits but i am more ethical & virtuous with them than him

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

formative years? aren’t they all?

Sodom and g'morning

severely deficient in whatever vitamin makes u a person

you've met me at a very "yeah i'm trying to work on that" time in my life