apparently youre supposed to perform. they love it when you perform. but it has to be authentic. they hate it when it's not authentic. but you have to perform.

dude honestly shout out to my guards i told them to seize this guy and before i could even finish my sentence they soze him. My goats

i’m just tryna have a nice time despite knowing facts and information

im not the same person i was when I pulled that meat out of the freezer this morning. I've changed. i don't have that in me anymore. ive moved on

Grace is one of the most classic things to fall from

That and the monkey barrrsssss

had a meeting at work yesterday with a guy i didn’t know and he said the phrase, “feed two birds with one scone”, which i thought indicated a conscientious and generous spirit

men b like wow I’ve never met a girl who liked music before..

You obviously know nothing about men if this is what you think they say

Men will see a mouse and eat it

No they won’t because why would anyone eat a mouse that’s stupid not all men are bad and not all men are stupid you may have had a bad experience with a man but not all men are bad granted there bad men but instantly accusing all men as bad is immature I’m dating a man and he is nowhere near stupid and I know for a fact that he won’t eat a mouse and in pretty sure I could name at least five other men that won’t do something as immature as that and saying that a man will see a mouse and eat it won’t get you a anywhere with a man if anything it will drive them away.

A man will see a mouse and be like is anyone else gonna eat this and not wait for an answer

do you think two pennies is still enough for the ferryman or has inflation driven up the fare

if he makes me use an app I am simply not crossing the river Styx.