ultimate man kitty destroyer

That punchline hit me like a sack of wet mice

Like a sack of what

i love when pets huff or sigh dramatically. like i am sorry. you're so right. you live such a laborious life. it must be so difficult to take naps and get pet and fed treats and played with all day. really a packed schedule youve got there boss. how do you manage it all. well no matter i'd say it's time for your well earned 7th afternoon nap

It's kinda unacceptable and strange even that it's already double digit date in November when first November was only yesterday

Hate when I’m smiling giggling at a video and then an ad plays. suddenly I have to lock in and frown so the ad knows I would never smile for it. Making me look like a fool in front of my beautiful princess (funny video)

So is mickeys dick smasher the new terminology for an inverted bell curve

@worldheritagepostorganization @hellsite-hall-of-fame

we slidin

At that point he’s a passenger too

Happy we slidin season to all who observe

A moment to celebrate 5 years of we slidin.

Happy 5 years of we slidin to all who observe

Mario creepypasta fundamentally doesn't work because you know what Mario would actually do if we saw some dimension-warping hundred-handed cosmic horror? He wouldn't lose his mind; he'd take one look at that Shin Megami Tensei looking fucker, pull out his dorky little mushroom-shaped cell phone, hit the fourth number down on his contact list, and go "hey, Kirby, I think-a one-a your boys got lost".

World Heritage Post

hello child born between the end of the 1990s and beggining of the 2000s, welcome to my saw trap. in front of you is a computer, you can learn to code and guarantee yourself the only career that will be available in a couple of decades, or you can play around on ms paint and develop a beautiful creative mind that will starve to death forever, you have a few years to choose but by the time you do it'll be too late

pro-abortion. pro-divorce. i believe we have the god-given right to give up

when people go after no-fault divorce or abortion what they're really doing is trying to enshrine the sunk cost fallacy into law

i open twitter. people are complaining about the word audiophile because they dont want to fuck the music. i open tumblr. people are happy about the word cinephile because they want to fuck the movies

i believe in universal human rights in a way that makes the right uncomfortable, and i believe that those universal human rights also applies to jews in a way that makes the left uncomfortable,

*aborted baby voice* you can abort me by pressing "z" on your keyboard. Try it now! You can manage your abortions on the "My Abortions" tab. Open the shop to get more abortion pills. You can also spend 5 gems to speed up your abortion