doom patrol household

Were they actually best friends originally in the comics (or any reboot) or was that a thing started by BTAS?

so whats the standup comedy circuit in gotham like. im guessing its off the charts

The “what’s the deal with all those Robins” bits get the same reception in Gotham as someone doing a bit about airplane food

“When I was a kid I used to dream and pray every fucking day about getting superpowers, and I’m so fucking glad the universe never listened. You expect me to become a superhero? In THIS economy?? My broke ass could never! They don’t get paid for that shit! And if only one of my two jobs actually pays me, which one do you think I’m going to prioritize? If the Joker breaks out of Arkham for the twentieth time the night before an important meeting, you think I’d get out of bed? NO! Fuck Gotham, I’m going back to sleep! No, no, seriously… Do you think Batman has a day job? OF COURSE NOT! Can you imagine going to the grocery store and your cashier being like [switches to a deep Batman voice] ‘Your total is 27 dollars’. No! That dude doesn’t have a day job! He spends his nights running around in a cape and tights and his go to response to problems is to punch them! You expect me to believe he works in retail? In an office?? Do you seriously think Batman would have the patience to deal with rude customers or incompetent managers? NO! And what about all the fancy gadgets he has! I’m sorry but you can’t afford that if you earn minimum wage. Dude probably has Bruce Wayne as his sugar daddy! He sleeps and fucks Bruce Wayne during the day and at night he punches supervillains! And at least Batman wears a mask so we don’t know who he is, but what about Wonder Woman and Superman! They don’t wear masks! You expect me to believe they go about their days never being recognized likeTony Hawk? NO! Just because Superman doesn’t pay taxes doesn’t mean he’s actually Lex Luthor in a wig!”

“Look, if Poison Ivy truly cares about the environment so much then why doesn’t she kidnap the CEOs of the three biggest oil companies, give them superpowers and then just… Light up the Bat-Signal”

“If you have any gaps in your résumé you can just write down you were doing Superhero Stuff™ and then refuse to answer any further questions about the topic. You think they’re going to pass up on the opportunity to hire a guy that miiiiight be Batman?”

“Some of Batman’s Robins don’t look older than twelve! Do their parents know what their kids are up to during school nights?? Does Batman help them with their math homework while they do stake outs in the batmobile?”

@lookforanewangle