Rayner/Ray

another year closer to death isn’t it? i’m kidding. i’ve always been an attention hoe because hi, i’m your next-door attention-seeking, validation craving, touch starved teen and god wow she’s finally 18. the first thing i’m gonna do when the clock strikes 12 no matter what (sounds very cinderella-ish right?) is to go on a music and romance movies rampage until it’s 5 am. i’ll be reminded of the better days when I yell out “jaane tu ya jaane na” and dance to masakali & humma humma’s tunes while being completely carefree. this year’s been too hard on me but these stolen moments, whispered between twilight and daylight is what will make me think “this is why I chose to stay alive after all the setbacks.”

my puppy, clary passed last year just a few days before my birthday, and this year I finally have another! I always thought how unfair it was for clary to not be there for even one birthday of mine, she came in november 2019 and she passed on october 17th 2020, it is unfair isn’t it? now I have another, another brat named piper who’s hopefully gonna stay for this birthday of mine and for all the others to come. god she’s such a brat but I love her to death and wouldn’t exchange her for anything in the world.

i’m in college now, that’s…something? (I’m writing this as if the thought of dropping out hasn’t crossed my mind a few million times) it’s hectic yet exhilarating for sure. it’s that one water ride in the amusement park that has a lot of twists and turns and by the end, you’re just a wet mess but you’re actually happy and you’re laughing at it without a care in the world. i hope college & life is as good to me as that one amusement park ride.

I can only hope amma’s health is improving and there’s less tension and burdens on appa. all I’ve craved my whole life was a proper job for myself which keeps me financially stable (when I talk to appa about money and jobs, he’s like shush you’re a kid, don’t talk about money and all) he’s still in so much awe that i’ve actually grown and become 18 and like him & all parents say “it just feels like now when we brought you back from the hospital and look at you all grown up” I hope I’ll get a well-paying job after so that I can give back to my parents after all they’ve done for me. I’ve even selected what to give my mom, dad and my sister when I get my first salary. like forget me, i’m buying for my family first. I’ll get dad a watch (maybe two) and I’ll get amma either a kanchipuram saree or a new pair of headphones for her teaching (note: ask mom to teach me how to tie a saree), I’ll get my sister a make up kit probably or a ring light. (no wait shouldn’t I get something better for all of them? maybe I’ll treat them to dinner at a high-class restaurant) I’m gonna draw up plans for that now in a very, very serious manner.

and lastly, another note: you bloody dumbass (starting with a bang) (oh god that sounds so wrong) (oh my god what is this) for the love of god reduce the self-deprecating jokes and try giving yourself compliments when it’s actually needed and don’t be a dumb idiot and laze away, be more active when it comes to things and be happier, you’re 18 now and the night is young, don’t hold back on doing what you want to do just because that cloud of anxiety and what ifs? (I had to sneak a marvel reference there) looms above your head. you bring something to this world and you deserve to be here. go live it the way you want to and next year if you get a chance to leave this country and go study abroad, fucking run.

"Three," Roman took a deep breath, he wasn't backing down. Not this time. He needed this, his friends needed this. He was doing this for them. "Two," He could just picture their happy faces once they realised what happened, he smiled. They'd have a blank slate, a new friend to replace the old, it'd be perfect, and they'd be happy. "One." Roman took in his surroundings one last time. He saw the framed photo sitting on his desk, it had him and all the other sides in it. Everyone was smiling, even him. He took in everyone's features, how happy everyone was, and tears fell down his cheeks. "Bang." Roman took his hand, raised it to his head, formed in a finger gun, and shot.

And just like that, all his memories were gone.

Of course, none of the other sides were happy about what had happened like Roman had believed they would be. And they all knew that they were going to get Roman's memories back. No matter what.

im begging anyone who sees this post to prevent rapesexual, im begging you. no one will see this but if you do reblog to get the message out that these fuckers exist and dont deserve to exist heres the flag so you can know who to fucking block, report and tell to fuck off

Sorry for the tags, but this is REALLY REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT:

@natsueyama @welcome-to-gaytown @sleepypaladiknight @blubeloved @bee-exists

rumor has it that the queen and the bard have something going on.

"Three," Roman took a deep breath, he wasn't backing down. Not this time. He needed this, his friends needed this. He was doing this for them. "Two," He could just picture their happy faces once they realised what happened, he smiled. They'd have a blank slate, a new friend to replace the old, it'd be perfect, and they'd be happy. "One." Roman took in his surroundings one last time. He saw the framed photo sitting on his desk, it had him and all the other sides in it. Everyone was smiling, even him. He took in everyone's features, how happy everyone was, and tears fell down his cheeks. "Bang." Roman took his hand, raised it to his head, formed in a finger gun, and shot.

And just like that, all his memories were gone.

Of course, none of the other sides were happy about what had happened like Roman had believed they would be. And they all knew that they were going to get Roman's memories back. No matter what.