Hey y’all! I’m Coffee, and I’m a badass. You may, theoretically, know me under my pen name, Vincent Lore. I am an indie, self-published author who writes fiction, mostly starring trans man MCs. From romances to gothic horror to the Cthulhu Mythos, and more, I'll try writing it all. [And yes, I’m trans too, if the url didn’t give that away.]
About me: I’m 34 years old and live in the USA. EST timezone. I love music of many different genres, cats, nostalgia/kitsch, roleplaying, and food. I am often inspired by horror video games, which I’ve enjoyed since I discovered Fatal Frame in my early teens. My current obsession is Bloodborne. I’m physically disabled and have audhd. Despite this and my depression, I’m gonna keep going for as long as I can, and I hope I can help you keep going too somehow.
On this blog, you can find a bit of everything: writing advice and inspiration and memes, a little bit of current events, mutual aid [both tagged when I remember to, please feel free to remind me] and of course, cats. You obviously can find information on my own fiction here as well. I can try to help with writing problems, just send an ask! If I can’t help, I’ll direct you to someone who can.
My current big fiction projects:
Runner Owen: A queer gothic fantasy series with detectives, thralls, princes and vampires in a Victorian London inspired setting. You can find more of it on my sideblog @runner-owen
Pharaoh Syndicate Investigations: A hardboiled take on the Cthulhu Mythos, set in 1930s Arkham. Fans of Malevolent might like this.
And a lot more that are on the smaller side! You can find them under [insert tag here]
PUBLISHED WORK:
Friend of the Damned (Runner Owen 0.1) a short story on D2D and Itchio.
Lock the Last Door (PSI 0.1) a short story on D2D and Itchio
Honoria: A Runner Owen Short Story (Runner Owen 1) on Itchio and Kobo
Both stories, and future stories most likely, are available PWYW/free on Payhip and my Kofi. You can review my stories on Storygraph. (I can't figure out how to get them on Goodreads yet... 😓)
You can find me on Bluesky too!
Here is my Ko-fi if you’d like to support me.
Here's my Buttondown newsletter [inactive as of 7/26]
Good luck out there!
Dividers made by @dividers-are-us and @bunnytoppop
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Once upon a time, a blogging website became overrun with blogs centered around specific, highly curated themes. These themes often had a particular set of visuals, motifs, cultural references and color palettes. In spite of the entire internet pretending this blogging website does not exist, most of these themes traveled off the website and became influential in the realm of fashion and personal style, known now as "aesthetics". The word "aesthetic" is a strange one as it is not quite synonymous with "subculture;" simultaneously it is a sartorial inclination, a lifestyle, and sometimes even a genre of fiction.
Dark academia is one of the most well-known of these aesthetics, and it started as a style of tumblr blog which was more or less inspired by the novel The Secret History by Donna Tartt. Today it is often used as a marketing tool in the fiction world. But when translated to fiction, what does it mean? A friend and I, intending to have a dark academia fall movie marathon, quickly became aware that for many people "dark academia" boils down to a combination of "period drama" and/or a collegiate setting, plus a general "spookiness", and that for most people this is best summarized as "Harry Potter and/or Harry Potter adjacent works". This has been bothering me for a while. Finally I have determined what dark academia is and I am happy to show you my personal interpretation of this genre.
Dark academia, then, is the dissonance between:
A) The veneration of, the instruction and/or indoctrination therein, an institution, often but not always an academic institution, to the point where the institution is elevated above the characters' belief in the right of the individual to dignity, compassion, or any sort of value whatsoever - conformity to an existing power structure with the explicit intent of belonging to the higher status within a hierarchy - and often very specifically the articulation of a philosophy that promotes this idea; and
B) The existence of something so much larger than individual human lives that it dwarfs this philosophy and institution and leaves the characters confused, destitute, miserable, traumatized, broken, or perhaps in more positive works liberated or content in their submission to that greater thing. This "something" can be more or less anything but it is crucial to the work as it is the juxtaposition between A and B that creates the "dark academia" genre. It can be as vague as a general principle such as mercy, justice, mortality; it can be God or the existence of an untamed supernatural at all; it can be explicit cosmic horror.
The dissonance between these things creates, at varying times, dry humor, pronounced tragedy, and drama that ranges from pettiness to pathos.
The genre often features a specific focus on art, history, literal academic settings, book study, queer themes and/or subtext, obsession, murder, the supernatural, gothic themes of corruption and decay, but none of this is automatic.
Because of the explicit focus on an institution and the veneration thereof many works in dark academia will elevate specifically classist and/or imperialistic ideals of beauty, power, etc. Hence the disproportionate focus on European art, history, places of learning; prestigious schools; wealth and privilege, et cetera. I do not believe that a work must be self-aware about this to constitute "dark academia". In fact many of the most perfect examples are entirely un-self-aware and do not attempt to deconstruct said veneration at all. I think this is fair to criticize but I am not interested in arguing about the morality of dark academia here. I am only trying to define it. I believe that like most genres this encompasses both straight examples and deconstructions.
The primary example is of course The Secret History, which is the blueprint and I believe was the foundational text of the original tumblr bloggers, who more or less began by emulating the core cast of the novel. Early Richard describes the novel's theme as his core flaw, "a fatal longing for the picturesque at all costs". What this translates to is the elevation of beauty (as embodied by book learning, classism and snobbery) above all other concerns and how this ruins his life and everyone else's over the course of the novel. Richard makes his life choices for shallow, aesthetic reasons and ends up sucked into, essentially, a cult when he joins the Greek class. This philosophy is articulated in that line but also multiple times by other characters (including the infamous "beauty is terror" line). "Beauty is terror" also juxtaposes our points A and B. "Picturesque" is, after all, not beautiful in a way that inspires terror. Multiple things which dwarf the characters' shallow philosophies include the intense guilt they feel over committing murder, the ambiguously supernatural bacchanal in which the Greek class cannot explain what has happened to them, and the simple fallibility of man (as demonstrated by their interpersonal bullshit and Julian's abandoning them when he learns the truth; also, arguably, their inability to graduate after the trauma). These latter things are insurmountable, thus demonstrate the shallowness and vanity of the original hubristic philosophies. The in-between, the dissonance, creates a lot of drama both poignant and petty, directly leads to two people dying and a number of people's lives being ruined, and it is also wildly funny. Not everything in "dark academia" is inspired by TSH, but much is.
Some other examples!
Plein Soleil (1960) - A is Tom Ripley's methodical and articulate approach to coveting and stealing Philippe Greenleaf's life (the institution here is 'wealth and privilege' and it is partially embodied by Marge as a character, and the film's emphasis on her studying art history is a very dark academia motif); B is the concept of mortality, justice, and God. The visual comparison between the people Ripley kills and food, particularly the sequence in which he struggles at a fish market because the dead fish remind him of Philippe's corpse, highlights both the philosophy that renders human beings' lives as disposable and the gravity of what he has done. And the frequent Catholic imagery highlights that God can see all he does even when he has outwitted everyone else.
The Picture of Dorian Gray (1891) by Oscar Wilde - A is the belief that youth and beauty (and implicitly wealth and art) are more valuable than human life or virtue; B is of course, mortality and the notion of sin and conscience. Even at the end when Dorian has gotten away with all of his crimes, he himself cannot be satisfied, because he cannot escape his own conscience.
The Historian (2005) by Elizabeth Kostova - A is the book's arc theme of 'being a historian' and the innately profound nature thereof, the veneration of studying history even if, lol, even if it gets you killed by a vampire; B is. B is Dracula. And mortality, as embodied by Dracula. This book is somewhat funny because there really is no self-awareness in it whatsoever that, say, studying French as a second language in Oxford and being extremely special and unlike all the other girls your age is an inaccessible virtue to elevate. But there is a sort of charm to how blatant the idealization of Studying History in an Institutional Setting is. It is really worked into the novel (is Dracula the Ultimate Historian??) and Kostova is so damn sincere. The epistolary format and the inclusion of fake documents, as an embodiment of the veneration of study and book learning being so strong that it is built into the novel's narrative structure, is classic dark academia.
Picnic at Hanging Rock (1975) - A is simple conformity within the setting of an Edwardian girl's school and its attendant social hierarchies, B is the notion of fate and the insignificance of humanity contrasted with the majesty of the Rock itself, which is millions of years old and, as a geological feature, totally indifferent to the lives of a bunch of schoolgirls. The grief and confusion of the community in the wake of the girls' disappearance is also B. It's really a lot of symbolic and editing choices that elevate PAHR to feeling almost like cosmic horror, for instance the shot of Michael dissociating with a bloody mark on his forehead and a scrap of lace in his hands, the shot of the ants on the picnic cake juxtaposed with aerial shots of the girls on the rock, etc. A moment in which Irma comes to say goodbye to her classmates and they go berserk and swamp her demanding to know what happened is a good example of 'tension between A and B'. Irma is the height of elegance and grace, the girls' school setting demands decorum, but the girls' grief is so maddening that the situation rapidly deteriorates.
And very recently I read Villette (1853) by Charlotte Brontë, which also felt prototypically dark academia. Its A is also conformity, but especially to class and gender roles, and social categories like Protestantism versus Catholicism, while its B is a strange, tragic sense of fatality, almost embodied by its protagonist Lucy's depression. There is a nearly cosmic sense that Lucy cannot find happiness or liberty. A juxtaposition exists in the novel between Lucy's deep faith in God and the material fact that being virtuous does not in reality lead people to live happier lives - that some good people are happy, but also many callous, selfish, malicious people are happy, whereas Lucy, who does strive to be good, cannot be happy - and the dissatisfaction this produces in her and also the reader seems to be the entire purpose of the book. "Farewell"!
Personally, I do not think that a school setting and/or an enthusiastic discussion of reading and studying, plus, like, ghosts or pagan gods or something, automatically makes a work dark academia, although I have certainly seen and read books that were written by authors who did think so. But I am not interested in arguing about other books. I am simply trying to set down my personal interpretation of this "genre".
Strange house we must keep and fill.
House that eats and pleads and kills.
House on legs. House on fire. House infested
With desire. Haunted house. Lonely house.
House of trick and suck and shrug.
Give-it-to-me house. I-need-you-baby house.
House whose rooms are pooled with blood.
House with hands. House of guilt. House
That other houses built. House of lies
And pride and bone. House afraid to be alone.
House like an engine that churns and stalls.
House with skin and hair for walls.
House the seasons singe and douse.
House that believes it is not a house.
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Hello friends we need to talk about this twitter account:
You might know him from a thread where he was getting wowed by free appetisers in a Mexican restaurant.
Firstly: He is doing a bit pretending to be a wandering samurai. It's a joke and his posts are all made up. This is very obvious if you actually look at his account and website:
He does purport to be Japanese but based on some of the other content he posts there's reason to believe he's British.
Which brings me to my second point: his Samurai content is interspersed with posts like this:
The chips and salsa thread went viral in June and his website seems to have gone live in July. This confirms what I suspected which is that said website with it's explicit disclaimers was made in response to the big viral hit.
Consequently, back when he first blew up it was potentially a bit harder to figure out that his stories are fictional. That said, the New York Times worked it out so I'm comfortable accusing outlets who ran the story describing him as a Japanese world cup tourist of legitimately terrible journalism.
Yeah this is also the guy from the truck thread going around. That's what prompted this post and in retrospect I should have said so explicitly.
He claims he just uses AI to translate his posts from Japanese. He also says the art on his website isn't AI generated. I think he is full of shit on both counts.
I only gave a couple of examples but even on a brief look through his twitter it was apparent that he posts a LOT about UK politics to the point where he's quite patently British. He is a Restore supporter which is a party that split away from mainstream far right party Reform due to feeling they weren't right wing enough.
It might not surprise you to hear he does not seem to know shit about Japan? Both the salsa story and the truck story failed the smell test for people who are familiar with Japan. There's also a story about going to a potluck where he seemingly couldn't come up with a single Japanese dish for the character to cook??
Yeah his whole bit is racist and it is troubling that so many people took a guy badly roleplaying as a medieval samurai to be a 21st century Japanese tourist.
The thing about anti-libby posts, because ebooks have to be paid for yearly while physical books only have to be paid for once, is that yes, physical books are cheaper for the library to acquire- but the library has a budget they chose to allocate, whether it's on software, subscriptions to digital encyclopedias, or ebook rentals. If they chose to rent ebooks, it was because they want you to read them, and using any of their services looks good for them. Check out physical books by all means, but don't feel guilty about checking out ebooks.
"But wait," you say. "They're books. Physical objects. In a building. You don't have to pay to get into the building, or get the books. What do you need accessibility for? They're already accessible?"
Not if you've been hospitalized.
Not if you have poor vision. (Ebooks: Adjustible font sizes for EVERYTHING. Not just the large print editions the library can get.)
Not if the roads are covered in ice, or the library itself is for whatever reason closed/hard to get to.
And the audiobooks! Do you have any idea how many people have cars that don't have CD players, or don't know if they have MP3-CD-compatible CD players, or really don't want to try wrangling an 8-CD-book while driving? THERE ARE A LOT, LEMME TELL YOU. But with Libby, all you need is a bluetooth connection between your phone and your car!
And you can even listen to a whole audiobook on your phone while unable to see because eye surgery! (don't even try to ask if that's common. It's way common. I've had multiple calls re: walking people through setting this up for this reason just this year. Actually, even just this summer. Bad year for eyeballs, good year for Libby.)
Extra bonus points: You don't have to worry about returning materials on time, because Libby handles that for you. Which is great if you're traveling. It's also great because you can even check out more stuff while you're physically in completely different states from your library!
Oh and one other thing. Do you have any idea how much shelf space, say, "every single James Patterson book" or "every single Danielle Steel book" would actually take up? How many entire physical book cases those authors would take up, if a library chose to have every. single. book. they've ever written? Yeah. It's not happening. (Okay. The Library of Congress probably has it. Good luck finding any other library doing it.) But we can get them all in ebook format. Yep. Every last one. And the audiobook version. These two and every other insanely prolific writer out there. Virtual space is infinitely expandable. Aren't you glad?
Your library pays some hefty fees to make these ebooks available to you. These are just some of the reasons. So please. Use the feature. We want you to use the feature.
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one of the best pieces of advice I've ever heard (for myself, at least) is that if you're in a terrible mood and NOTHING is helping, then start doing the chores/responsibilities/job stuff/etc that you've been putting off. Will it put you in an even worse mood temporarily? Probably, but you're already pissed off, so you might as well double up on it at that point 😭 there's no loss. It's not like finally getting around to cleaning the house and scheduling appointments is going to ruin the good day that you aren't currently having to begin with 💀 And then, when the bad mood passes, you'll have gotten shit done and you'll feel a lot better later, even if in the moment you're having The Worst Time Ever about it.
DUDE NO FORREAL ACTUALLY I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. This is one of the few things that works SUPER WELL for me.
Years ago one of my friends was talking to me and they were in a real bad mood. Then mentioned they were gonna do something productive and sink themselves into their work so at least something good can come of that time they otherwise would have spent in quiet misery.
I internalized that and started practicing that on my own. Now, whenever I'm doing REALLY rough, I'll try to turn that into productivity. It's REALLY effective when I work on commissions, because that work gets me closer to being done regardless.
Not only does it help get my mind off of whatever's ailing me (at least to some degrees), it means I made a net positive out of a bad situation. I can look back and feel ANY kind of positive emotion instead of it being completely terrible, and it's less work I have to do when I'm in a better mood.
Win win.
Very good documentary, 10/10 do recommend. It explores how romanticized narratives of the South erase the reality of slavery, and how the people who perpetuate these myths are a lot more racist than they want you to think.
"Tutorial" on how to draw an OC with dwarfism (well, some of it).
Boring tired disclaimer: Keep in mind that this is an introductory "drawing" "tutorial" and has some generalizations in it, so not every “X is Z” statement will be true for Actual People. Which happens to be true for everything in general.
You are heavily encouraged to do your own research because this does not contain everything you should know before making a character with any type of dwarfism.
Consider supporting me on ko-fi if you find this to be helpful.
If (when) you repost this on pinterest at least put a link to the original post somewhere..
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PSA: Just a friendly reminder that whenever you start a creative project, you will invariably hit a phase where the Thing™️ appears horrendous and you start asking existential questions. But if you keep working, it invariably passes and starts to resemble something less like the devil’s vomit. Doesn’t matter if it’s art, writing, or what–this happens repeatedly. Carry on.
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