I know this topic isn’t the main focus of gender/sexuality related tumblr discourse at the moment but this is something I wanted to talk about for quite some time now and I finally found the time to do so.

Before I actually share my opinion, I think it’s important to get some definitions straight:

+ A nonbinary transperson is someone who experiences atypical dysphoria and therefore identifies neither as man nor as woman

I know discussions about gay cispeople and their attraction towards transpeople of their own gender are a pretty hot take at the moment and also I’m aware that not everyone believes nonbinary transpeople exist, but please let’s push that aside for a minute and just focuss on the problem that occurs with calling nonbinary transpeople gay or lesbian.

For nonbinary transpeople - as well as for binary transpeople and everyone else - it’s pretty important to know that their gender identity gets respected. “Gay” and “Lesbian” are binary terms. So I ask you: how can binary terms validate the identity of nonbinary people? My biggest issue is the term “nonbinary lesbian”. While I don’t want to dig too deep into this topic, I have to mention that I consider this term especially harmful, to lesbians as well as to nonbinary transgender people. I see “nonbinary lesbian” becoming an equivalent to “butch” and therefore pretending (gay) gender-nonconforming women shoudn’t even be considered women anymore. While “lesbian” strictly refers to women who are exclusively attracted to other women, “gay” - even if mostly used for homosexual men - can be used for both binary genders.

So could you say gay nonbinary transpeople - using it only for those individuals who are nonbinary and are attracted to other nonbinary transpeople exclusively - are a real thing? In my opinion: No. No matter how hard you try, erasing the fact that nonbinary transpeople are either assigned male or female at birth won’t work. There is no such thing as a generally nonbinary body. If you’re gay you might have a certain preference for this or that type of men, but you will be attracted to a male body, including male genitals. Same goes for lesbians with being attracted to female bodies and female genitals. Yes some people are able to deal with genitals of the opposite sex if dating a transperson of their own gender, but that’s not the norm. But again, I ask you: what does exclusive attraction to nonbinary transpeople look like, if there is nothing to break a nonbinary body down to in the first place. You can rage about the fact that it’s “not all about the body/genitalia” and you’re right with that. But it’s still a huge thing when it comes to our sexuality. We can’t just ignore our bodies and our preferences when it comes to other peoples genitalia just because someone decides it’s “transphobic” or whatever.

Let’s try to get back on track. The atypical dysporia of nonbinary transpeople leads to them wishing for a physical appereance that doesn’t fit the binary. They might want to have no sexual characteristics at all, they might want all of them at once, they might wish to have an unusual combination in between both extremes - depending on their certain kind of dysphoria. Because there are so many different possibilities, you can’t pin it down to being exclusively attracted to nonbinary transpeople.

But what if you’re nonbinary and exclusively attracted to men/women? Does it make you straight no matter what? No, I don’t think so either. Straight is also a binary term, and to use it for nonbinary individuals is about as wrong as calling them gay.

So, which terms did tumblr/people in general come up with describing the sexual orientations of nonbinary transpeople?

Trixic instead of Lesbian: While some people mention that trixic doesn’t has to be used to describe nonbinary transpeople who are exclusively attracted to women it’s generally used as a term for those who are nblw only. Toric instead of Gay: As well as trixic, some state it’s not an exclusive term, but it’s mostly used as such and describes those who are nblm only. Orbisian: Another term for trixic Quadrisian: Another term for toric Feminamoric: Another term for trixic, especially those who are romantically attracted to women exclusively Viramoric: Another term for toric, especially those who are attracted to men exclusively

I also found the terms “gai” and “strayt”, defined as “experiencing their attraction as gay/straight but in a nonbinary way”. Both terms to me don’t really make sense, since as mentioned above, nonbinary transpeople can’t really be gay in a first place. As for straight/strayt I could somewhat get myself to accept this term but it wouldn’t be really telling because a straight nonbinary person could either be:

nblw (trixic)

nblm (toric)

and maybe also nblm + nblw (I personally would prefer not to use “strayt” to describe this kind of people since they’re bisexual in my opinion but then again I doubt that I’d use “straight” in the first place, so i won’t dig into this one too deep either)

Therefore I’d ignore both terms all together because it’d lead to too much confusion.

Hey edgelords! It is I, another filthy discourse blog. This might doesn’t sound like the best start for an intro-post ever, especially since I prever civil debates, but whom am I kidding, we’re just some randoms on the internet arguing about stuff.

Anyways, my name is Josha. I’m a nineteen year old from Germany (which is the reason why I 1st tend to fuck up grammar and 2nd will sometimes focuss on certain issues of LGBT+ people in Germany in particular). I got diagnosed with F64.0 in October and started HRT on the 20.10.18. I go by they/them pronouns and prefer not to state my sex, gender or romantic orientation at the moment.

Now the time has come to talk about the interesting things. What are my personal opinions and which discourses will I take part in?

 Tucute/Transmed

          I believe that you need dysphoria (no matter if social or body dysphoria or how strong this dysphoria might be) to be transgender which means I’m a transmedicalist. This topic will most likely be a huge part of my blog, since it really affects me personally an I think about it a lot. To shut down some prejudices against transmedicalists right here. I have no problem with GNC (trans)people and I think being GNC actually helps lots of transpeople, especially in the beginning of their transition. I also don’t say that you need to hate yourself to be trans. Dysphoria isn’t self-hatred, it’s a disconnect between your gender identity and your physical sex. Also I believe that atypical dysphoria, and therefore nonbinary transpeople are a real thing. But – and this is important – I don’t believe that it is as common as it seems at the moment. Which leads me to the second point.

 Nonbinary Transpeople

          As said I, personally am sure that nonbinary transpeople exist. But at the same time I think that the nonbinary trans-community suffers from more transtrenders than the binary trans-community. Simply because it’s easier to call yourself nonbinary and be validated by anyone around you even if you make no attempt whatsoever to change your appereance than it is to pretend to be a binary transperson. I don’t want to go too much into detail because I want to make an own post about this topic in the future.

 Asexuality

          This one might be a tough one. Not only am I asexual myself, I also haven’t decided if I’m an exclusionist or inclusionist. I have seen good (and bad) arguments on both sides, so I will most likely will need some time to figure this thing out for myself before I actively participate in discourse. But if an especially dumb post crosses my mind, I will share my opinion on it anyways.

 MOGAI

          I’m extremely against the microlabels which MOGAI offers (young) people to turn their personality into genders, their preferences into romantic attractions and their mental illnesses into sexual orientations. I strongly believe that MOGAI harms those who try to figure themselves out and also that it’s a threat to the LGBT+ community.

 Feminism

          Yes, I know this will might surprise you but I don’t identify as a feminist (yet). I absolutely believe that everyone should be treated equally, regardless of their gender identity, sex, orientation, skin color, ancestry, religious believes etc. The reason why I don’t call myself a feminist, is that I don’t know enough about feminism and that I refuse to simply adapt a label just because people expect me to.

 Opinions I have, unrelated to any discourse I take part in.

          Pedophilia is a paraphilia and should be treated as such. I refuse to hate anyone who is aware of their mental illness and seeks help by a therapist to control their urges and who never acts out their sick fantasies (yes, not acting out also includes not watching pornography which includes children). Whoever I have no sympathy for those who don’t consider therapy, who already abused a child/are “pro-contact” or who support pedophilia by turning those who have it into a community, pretending their desires would be in any way morally acceptable. Same goes for zoophilia and necrophilia.

           There is (most likely) no god. I’m an atheist, sometimes even anti-theistic leaning, but I’m pretty civil about it. I have no problem with moderate religious people, but I have a string dislike against religion in general.

           Self-diagnosis is harmful and wrong. It’s okay to tell your therapist „My symptoms are x, y and z and therefore I think I got w“ but simply putting ten mental disorders, of which three are personality disorders and on eis DID into your tumblr-bio just because you made an online test and like playing pretend doesn’t make you valid. In fact it harms you as well as those, who really suffer from said disorders. I will most likely write about this in the future, but not as part of some active discourse.

 If you got any questions about my believes or want to share yours, please talk to me! At the moment I’m especially interested in other people’s opinions when it comes to:           Tucutes (Yes this also means that I want tucutes to explain their opinions to me so I understand better where they’re comming from)           Your experiences with MOGAI (What did you identify as/what do you identify know, did MOGAI help you to figure yourself out)           Feminism (Why do/don’t you identify as a feminist, which believes do you hold etc. I’d especially love interactions with different types of feminists, like libfrems, radfems and even TERFs)

If you want to share your opinion on something else (I talk about on here) feel free to also shoot me a message.