peepaw visiting hours

when everything feels like the movies you bleed just to know youre alive. or so ive heard.

police departments love to be like "we need more money to fight all the crime that's been happening lately" and they show a graph with crime going up at then you look into the numbers and it's like "the ten percent increase in crime was correlated with a ten percent increase in active policing hours" and it's like oh okay so the crime factory needs more money because the crime factory stayed open late to manufacture more crime in order to convince us to give more money to the crime factory. Where can I get off this carousel of misery?

Show daddy that nice picture again

I have GOT to stop spending $30

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

The Summertime Is A Little Different From The Normaltime

if you were a mouse, these will be the dinosaurs…

let's all think about the sound of a Fat fat person riding you so hard their tummy is bouncing

Today is the anniversary of the death of Jonathan Joss (King of the Hill, Parks and Rec). Jonathan Joss was an Indigenous, gay man who died protecting his transgender husband, on the first day of Pride month. Today we remember him and how he protected his family.

they teach you the golden rule, treat others how you want to be treated, but in a pinch you can apply the silver rule (be kinda selfish because you’ve earned it) or even the bronze rule (manipulate others purely for your benefit).

There's also the stone rule: Just start hitting people.

that’s right

i think they should allow everyone in the world to vote in american elections

when James Baldwin said I can’t be a pessimist because I’m alive

when James Baldwin said to be a pessimist means that you have agreed that human life is an academic matter. So I am forced to be an optimist. I am forced to believe that we can survive whatever we must survive.

Mowing through an entire box of pocky feeling like a pencil sharpener being fed whole pencils by a 3rd grader

slamming the big red button on my desk labeled "bweh" over and over again to no discernible effect