it's me, i'm scum villainpilled

Some sketches I did in between classes I’m testing out the new brushes in procreate featuring parental SQH

the last thing thing he wants to do to cause a rift in their relationship. he’s always been more into night hunts and sparring than interpersonal drama. unfortunately for him, life has given him the short end of the stick this time. despite his best efforts, liu qingge ends up falling head over heels for both of them.

to make matters worse, the second he tries to distance himself is the second shen qingqiu’s slender fingers are wrapped tight around his wrist, nails digging into his skin— an action that borders on possessive. he tries to take on a longer mission and yue qingyuan rejects his request, claiming that he’s actually needed at the sect but never gives him a clear reason why.

Hey, wait up!!🪭

oh, right. he doesn't think he's worth getting angry over. he doesn't think he deserves to be defended, protected, or even validated.

he is disappointed in sqq's actions, yes. he's upset about lbh hurting sqq, yes. but he isn't angry at either of them for how circumstances played out.

even when he came to lbh at the end, he didn't storm into the trap in a rage or attempt to valiantly fight lbh to the death. what do we know if fairly limited, but it's notable that shen yuan describes the thousand arrows scene as yqy "walking unflinchingly into luo binghe's trap, despite knowing there was no return."

i think this has two meanings: 1) his sacrifice is a symbol of yqy's loyalty, love, and devotion to sqq; and 2) he is furious— but only with himself.

let's think about qiu haitang's quote in svsss where she proclaims "if a single word i, qiu haitang, say from here on out is false, may my heart be pierced by ten thousand of the demons' poisonous arrows, and may i be undeserving of a peaceful death!" this quote directly references the way yue qingyuan died in PIDW, and likely also mirrors his true feelings about himself: underserving of a peaceful death.

it's pretty heavily implied, if not outright stated, that yqy does not value his life and would end it in a heartbeat if it meant that sqq would finally be at peace. this is most clearly seen in the water prison scene, where he tries to get sqq to kill him as a way for sqq to finally shed himself of his resentment and hatred. yqy fully believes that his failure to return to the qiu manor on time is why sqq made all of these bad decisions that led to his eventual torture and imprisonment. he believes that at the end of the day, he is a poison in sqq's life. if he needs to die in order for sqq to heal and move on, he'll readily accept his fate.

These are addicting to make