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It really gets under my skin, when people with functioning uteruses, go "Oh, you're so lucky you don't have to deal with periods, haha!"

I get it. I get that periods suck, that they're painful and messy and inconvenient and put you in a bad mood. I get, from that perspective, why I'm "lucky" to not have periods.

But it's so immensely isolating and, dare I say, dysphoria inducing, when people bond over their periods in front of you, when they're talked about by cis women as this divine universal feminine aspect, or by (usually perisex lets be honest) people with functioning uteruses generally as at least a bonding experience, a shared struggle to laugh and chat about, something that binds people like them together that you'll never be part of.

Which is petty jealousy, I know, which is why I never say anything, when people discuss their periods around me, because I know that's my problem to handle.

But it's also a matter of safety, isn't it? When the shared struggle or ~divine blessing~ or however it's framed is used to signify an in-group, especially when it comes to, say, terfy pericis women, then admitting you don't have a period, is like admitting you're other, a different kind of woman from them, one outside of their circle.

Even more dangerous is admitting it to doctors. Every time they ask, when was your last period, and every time I have to stammer through, I don't have those. Every time there's that look, that shock, disgust, judgment, horror, they wrinkle their nose, they become snippier afterward, take you less seriously.

Which is best case scenario. Worst case scenario the doc decides you're suicidal and keeps you er boarded for three days surrounded by lights and noise until you're having a sensory overload constantly sobbing and begging anyone to talk to you while getting brushed off by one person after the other until your will is so broken you let them drag you to the mental hospital because you don't know if trying to fight the- blatantly unnecessary- court order will lose you your spot in line for transfer and another three days in the er would ruin you. All because a doctor had a transmisogynistic/intersexist bone to pick with you.

All of which is to say; being a woman who doesn't have periods isn't actually fun or lucky! I get, that a lot of people would rather not have periods, I get that periods are a source of annoyance for most and a source of great suffering for some.

A moment of silence for the trans men who, due to their assigned gender at birth and religious backgrounds, have been taught that they are forbidden from being anything but broodmares to a man they may or may not consent to marriage or sex with.

A moment of silence for the trans men who died in childbirth from a pregnancy they may or may not have consented to.

A moment of silence for the trans men who dropped out of high school after getting pregnant.

A moment of silence for the trans men who only knew their desire for masculinity, but were beaten to death for it and told they were going to hell.

A moment of silence for the trans men who had their clitorises mutilated by female genital mutilation.

A moment of silence for the trans men who died without ever once getting to wear pants or cut their hair the way they wanted.

A moment of silence for the trans men who committed suicide rather than be seen as a woman anymore.

A moment of silence for the trans men who never were allowed to learn how to read.

A moment of silence for the trans men with perfectly treatable conditions who were allowed to die to avoid violating "modesty" rules.

A moment of silence for the trans men subjected to honor killings.

A moment of silence for the trans men who were murdered by abusive partners.

A moment of silence for the trans men who were subject to "hymen checks."

preface: I am not American nor am I white, so you will have to find something else to whine about if this post makes you mad. bazinga!

other black and brown people on here have noted the phenomenon of white trans people trying to make themselves out as facing the same discrimination as black and brown people in first world countries. I'm not the first one to notice this. racism is the one Axis Of Oppression that they have no claim to and it makes them genuinely angry that they have no card to pull when it comes to being racially discriminated against. this manifests in a number of bizarre ways.

the white trans person has a great complex about their whiteness, doubly so if they are not American, because then they have a great complex about Americans. they struggle greatly with the fact that they are white because their whiteness allows them no bonus brownie points in tumblr's and the general Leftist Internet's Oppression Scale compared to people of colour born literally anywhere, because they believe that in all other categories they are god's most oppressed little angels, most righteous in arguments, most suffering of individuals.

for most of them this translates to transparent seething any time you remind them of being white in a context where their race matters (e.g. discussing their racism) and engaging in classic DARVO when these subjects are brought up. those who follow me saw this with the whole "well it's not racist to not believe you're faking your race" -> "even if you're black you're the one wrong here" -> "actually you're the one who came after me for making a post saying I won't want this thing to happen, so it's not my fault and I'm not even racist at all" that pocket-deer-belly and janederscore tried a bit back.

for non-Americans this means projecting this onto Americans, tripping over themselves to prove they are one of the Good and Normal whites and not the Number One Evil whites, to the point of believing themselves to be a victim of xenophobia by those Damn Yanks, consistently and very obviously sidestepping the fact that is is mostly non-white people making fun of them. this is on purpose, because they know that they have nothing to say against being made fun of for being white, and because they are often so focused on the idea of anyone who makes fun of them being a Damn Yank that they throw Yank around unprompted at even the slightest mention of being mocked, like this random English white woman sticking it to a random non-American because she is so mad about her accent being mocked offhand:

I'd like to propose a challenge to you to search the blogs of any random white non-American (or even American, they tend to have "one of the good ones" syndrome) person you see on here and look for the word Yank, because undoubtedly you will find much to laugh at. like with the above, where anyone on the internet mocking the English without presenting their ethnicity and 23andme must be a filthy yank, because nobody on this earth would want to mock the English except for a Damn Yank:

this search also brings up a feeble attempt at fending off anyone who brings up her being a white English woman for any reason. plaidos accuses those who bring it up of being xenophobes who hate immigrants, the most logical thing a white woman could say when being mocked for being a white English woman as people of colour are randomly detained en masse and deported in her target country (and she even sneaks a transmisogyny accusation in there!):

the white English woman moving to America wants you to know that it's very bad of you to mock her for being English because moving to America makes her an immigrant and that means you are discriminating against her. it's definitely not a white English woman weaponising mainstream violent anti-immigration rhetoric that targets ethnic minorities in America so that she can feel as oppressed as the people mainstream political rhetoric is targeting, who are being rounded up on the street, herded into cramped illegal jails, and unlawfully deported if they don't die due to the horrible conditions in those facilities. I wonder why she would want to weaponise that rhetoric to make someone look like they're even more discriminatory against her by making them equivalent to American anti-immigration pundits 🤔 what could motivate a white English woman to compare herself being mocked on the internet to the black and brown people being terrorised daily by the current political regime when she brings up... fetch me my thinking cap! I have to ponder.

it's not just limited to users like plaidos though! we have good old isuggestforcefem to look to, making banger posts like "why are you filthy Yanks making charities that only support people in YOUR country, this is TERRIBLE, why would ANY charity not provide global support, it must not be for any reasons behind the complexity of operating charities in one nation much less across several or due to limited funds or legislation, but because you REFUSE to think about OTHER PEOPLE, you think you're the only REAL people" (real post btw!):

don't worry though, she's doing her part!

and plaidos is, too! look at her sending a black woman the wikipedia article for racialisation as some kind of gotcha:

I will approach this the same way that plaidos approaches everything with the idea that someone is inherently stupid for being American while ignoring that as a white English woman she is every American's cousin. plaidos, the concept of racialisation existing does not make us identify ourselves as racism affected. none of us identify ourselves based on the discrimination we face but on characteristics that we share, e.g. being ethnic minorities in majority white countries.

Genuinely I don't feel like the trans community has ever had to meaningfully reckon with exorsexism. There's all this fucking yapping about smashing the gender binary and how cool and sexy this androgynous (cis) rockstar is, but when it comes down to it people want to cling to the binary. Because it affirms their own gender. Because it allows them to bond with cis people. Because it makes them feel normal and real and natural. Binary trans people oftentimes only want to challenge the parts of the gender binary that directly impede THEIR ability to socially claim womanhood/manhood, but will not actually challenge it anywhere else.

It comes back to the fact that cissexism and the patriarchy itself are built on the gender binary & oppositional sexism, but a lot of binary trans people (particularly those who pass and are gender conforming), knowingly or not, have this attitude of "but why do THEY (cis people) get to play with that, and I don't???" Because they are men/women, and all those OTHER men and women can simply float on the exorsexist social current without ever thinking twice about it.

There is inherently some exorsexism in all transphobia, but if you can narrate yourself and your experiences through the language of the binary, you get a level of social acceptance that other trans people (including many, many binary/-aligned trans people, and intersex people) do not. And that's why binary aligned trans people then turn around and start blaming nonbinary people and GNC trans people and anyone who continues inflaming exorsexist society for how trans people are treated.

Because to be cis is to be binary, and so, so much of trans activism has been about telling cis people that we are just like them—just regular men and women, trapped in the opposite sex body. And nonbinary people fundamentally cannot and generally will not do that. We are asking cis people to respect us and acknowledge that our genders are just as valid even if they are completely foreign to cis people, even if they are undeniably, fundamentally trans in a way that cannot be renegotiated into cisness.

That is not to say that binary trans people are less radical or less trans—there are many binary trans people I know and love who fucking hate the idea of conforming to cisness in any way. And they get fucked over by exorsexism big time. The language I'm using here (nonbinary vs binary) is itself fundamentally flawed given the actual complexity of exorsexism, but I'm feverish so I'm unfortunately not going to invent an improved paradigm in this post.

My point is that I tried so damn hard to make myself make sense to binary people. I spent years of my life knowing I was trans and torturing myself because no matter what I came out as, I always felt like a liar, nothing ever fit. I tried to be a nonbinary lesbian the way everyone wants, I tried to be a trans man in the way everyone wants, I tried to be neutral but y'know not making a big deal out of it or anything (and of course neutral people don't have any sexuality, because the minute you have a sexuality you have to align yourself with the binary, hence the "not making a big deal out of it"). I tried and tried and tried to not be a thorn in the side of the exorsexism that's so prevalent not just in society but in the trans community, I tried not to make my gender a problem for everyone. I only felt real stability and safety and humanity in myself through my gender once I let myself be how I actually am and quit cherrypicking my identity based around what wouldn't upset the implicit but STRONG gender binary in trans spaces. And it's really just so frustrating seeing binary trans people who don't ever think for a second about any of this, and even more other nonbinary people who are able to narrate themself in a way that appeals to exorsexism, all of whom act like nonbinary people who can't or won't do that are just causing problems for fun.

One pervasive idea that I’ve had since the shit has stuck to me and I usually kept it down, but lately it’s a blaring noise ringing nightly. I’ve been unable to focus and while people have become desensitized to this chaos, I have stayed awake wide eyed just not being okay with this helplessness.

i love you arson who uses they/them and doesn't want hrt and has wild, awesome, cool hair and loves leather and cardigans

This is a common strategy of white feminism: to align with women of color when it suits, trumpeting a nonexistent sisterhood as a mask for appropriating our work to advance the myth of a better world run by women. The truth is, it is women of color, most especially Indigenous women, who are at the forefront of environmental rights because their own rights are inseparable from the battle for the environment.

According to the World Resources Institute, protecting Indigenous lands is among the most successful methods of fighting deforestation and climate change: remove such protections and environmental catastrophe is unavoidable. The battle for land rights is deadly. From 2002 to 2015, some 1,237 eco-activists were killed for defending (mostly) Indigenous lands.

2017 was the deadliest yet with around four activists killed per week. Indigenous women on the front lines who list their lives include Berta Cáceres, Lesbia Janeth Urquía, and Efigenia Vásquez. To dress this up as a warmhearted girl power story not only trivializes their work, it erases the danger such women are in."

There are Black and brown and indigenous and Jewish and queer and disabled and countless otherwise marginalized Floridians, all fighting tooth and nail for our home and community. But everyone acts like we don't matter or should "just leave."

And it makes me so tired, y'all. I LOVE Florida. I love its people and its environments so, so fucking much. I want better for my beloved home, and I want people to stop treating it as a fucking joke.

I am a loud & proud union organizer and a disabled trans person, which is fairly obvious from about three seconds spent on my blog. When I say that there are marginalized people here who are fighting tooth and nail, I'm not just blowing smoke up your ass. I am talking about myself, my friends, and my community.

If you leave a comment on this post about how climate change is inevitable and we can't stop Florida from sinking into the swamp, I am going to come to your house and force you to read all of the climate activism news reports I am subscribed to. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

People are fighting. People are helping each other. People are trying to preserve the vital and unique ecosystems of this state.

If you can't see it, you need to fucking look harder, because plenty of people love this place and are giving EVERYTHING to protect it.

I. Love. Florida.

whatever we do, we can't win. we can't be seen as actually nonbinary. people binarize us and often mock us or get aggressive or dismiss and ignore our nonbinaryhood or something else.

if we don't medically transition, we are "just cis trenders."

if we do medically transition, we are "just [binary trans] eggs."

we are "technically transmasc or transfem anyways" if we don't use these terms.

we are lumped together with binary trans men and trans women if we do use these terms. our nonbinaryhood is ignored or seen as some kind of "gender-lite."

we are aggressively pressured to disclose if we're AFAB or AMAB, TMA or TME, transmasc or transfem, "boy nonbinary" or "girl nonbinary." and if we refuse to answer, people get double mad at us and pick something for us anyways.

if we show the slightest hint of something that could be interpreted as binary gendered, we are immediately binarised.

if we put a lot of effort into looking the most ambiguous or androgynous or neutral, people still try to find something. and they become aggressive. people often EXPLODE [PT: explode] when they can't gender someone by glance.

our ways of expression are constantly mocked and ignored (like neopronouns, nonbinary-centering labels for gender and orientation, basically all things that are associated with nonbinary people).

but if we choose more typical ways of expression (for example, use "he/him" or "she/her" pronouns), people use it to ignore and dismiss our nonbinaryhood.

Like. Before my mom had her character development, I would legit get into screaming matches with her and my step dad about cutting my hair. I wanted it short, they didn’t. So, I would self sabatoge and purposefully fuck up my own hair so they would be forced to take me to a hair stylist to chop it off.

I also see an uptick of liberal cis women also always expecting trans men to be these like. Meat shields. They don’t give us a place in topics of reproductive rights even though many of us have uteruses and can get pregnant, but we’re supposed to be the ones to fix cis men.

Many feminist now also forgot that a key tennant of feminism, is you hold EVERYONE to the same moral standard. It’s about gender EQUALITY, not female supremacy. Equality cannot exist in a society that caters to explicitly one gender.

Many people I know (including myself) have been harrassed or assaulted by Cis women. Especially mothers and female friends and partners.

Abigail Shreir bullshit aside, cis women genuinely act like it’s a slight against them to want top surgery or to want to be a man. Part of it is because they view men and masculinity as this inherit threat, an enemy. It’s the same reason they hate trans women, to cis women, trans women are these evil things coming in to hurt them.

Cis women (especially white cis women) tend to think they are the ultimate end-all-be-all oppressed victims, if you are a man you can’t be oppressed. Which obviously is bullshit.

Trans men and Trans women, and enbies are all under the same umbrella, the only way a trans man could have systemic power over a trans women would be if he’s white and she isn’t. Or vice versa. Liberal Cis woman ‘allies’ are also getting farrrr too comfortable here. Like. They expect labor from trans men and punch down on us because they claim we are ‘the oppressor class’ when no, Stephanie, you are just transphobic and using your privilege against me. They act buddy-buddy with trans women, but the moment trans women speak up and are like ‘hey. This is kinda fucked.’ They show their whole ass and viciously turn on them.

Cis women and Cis men are both allies when it comes to transgender oppression and niether of them should be immediately trusted. It’s not our job to fix our cis male counterparts, that’s THEIR (as in cis Male’s) responsibility. Trans men can be an example of healthy masculinity, sure, but you shouldn’t expect us to fix your shitty boyfriends.

Honestly.