*when it's storming*
People who like mythology: Well, I think Zeus is mad at us...
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@tragic-randomness
*when it's storming*
People who like mythology: Well, I think Zeus is mad at us...

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Daphne: How am I supposed to reject a guy without having to friendzone him as compensation? ...Like I don't even want to be his friend...
Apollo:... You know I can hear you, right?
Daphne: Oops, my bad! *turns into a tree*
Wearing SO's sweater: Aww I love it!
Other people: Awww so cute!
Patroclus wearing bf's armour:
Yay, love it!
Other people:Oh no, no... Nooo!
Oh no I hope I don't fall-
- my eyes, my beauty, my reflection
*splash in water*
Narcissus: Okay... tiktok... currently I am drowning.. bcs of your st...upid trend...
Everyone: 👁️👄👁️
Cyclopes: That's so discriminating but alas nobody understands. We sad.
Odysseus: Here you can write this like this: 💧👁️💧

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Zeus: Aaaah I'm falling...!
Aphrodite: in love?
Hera: Who's the poor woman now?
Ares: Uhm no, I think he really fell
*everyone looking down at Zeus*
Hera, Ares and Aphrodite: What a dumbass
Zeus: Ey! Don't give me those looks! ...I should never have accepted those new lace sandals from Hermes...
The gods in Paris:
Zeus: looking for Emily duh
Eros: Hiding Emily with Gabriel because they're #goals
Dionysus: drinking wine à la française
Apollo: going to Versailles instead
Aphrodite: loving the city + acting like Marie-Antoinette
Ares: trying to start a new French Revolution
Gods as kids during dinner:
Hestia: eating everything like is expected from her
Poseidon: spilling water everywhere
Hades: refuses to eat his meal due to the water in it #thanksbro
Aphrodite: eating desert first
Hephaestus: making a volcano with his mashed potatoes
Zeus: Hiding his veggies under the mashed potatoes
Ares: In the kitchen searching for a real knife, not those dumb coloured plastic ones
Me: I want to ask you something...
*after I remember that by asking someone their favourite god or goddess, that might or might not start Trojan War 2.0*
Me: Nah, never mind.
How to become a Roman emperor in 5 easy steps:
Find a new -and if possible a very long- regnal name (you must add 'Augustus' to it, for the rest use your imagination)
Invent some kind of crazy thing abt yourself to entertain 'the tabloids'
Conquer Europe (...that's an easy one guys)
Have your portrait featured on gold coins that you'll distribute in your newly acquired empire
Find an ancestor that makes you a direct relative of a god or goddess!

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If a djinn granted the gods one wish:
Zeus: Why are you granting me a wish? I can have anything I want, remember?
Athena: Why only one???
Hera: I would like a faithful husband...
Zeus: Wait, what? But I am faithful...!
Hera: Or at least grant me one that can lie.
Actaeon be like ''I know a spot'' and then stumbles upon a goddess and you both end up eaten up by your own dogs.
Theseus be like ''I know a spot'' and then abandons you on the way.
Daphne: I'm curious, what do you think is the biggest insult?
Apollo: People who put sunglasses on.
Daphne: ... Uhm okay, wth
Apollo: just think abt it, it's like they put sunglasses on to see me less :((
Daphne after realising that: 😎
Apollo: I still love you, you know...
Daphne: What a pity *turns into a tree*
The gods at the restaurant:
Ganymede (waiter): So, what can I get you?
Zeus: Okay, I'll order for everyone as I'm the almight-
Athena: Wowowowow! No! Everyone can order for themselves you know!
Zeus: But I'm the King of the Gods-
Hera sighing: Oh gods, here we go...
Zeus: - and I'm also God of the sky! God of lightning and thunder! God of justice! God of-
*Hera internally cringing*
Zeus: - law and God of order! So yeah, I'm ordering... I know it's difficult to bear, child, but it's my duty to order.
Athena: Pretty sure 'God of order' means tha-
Hera: Shhhhh, please Athena, shhh just let him have it his way. I'm starving!
Zeus: So, we'll have Ambriosa!
Ganymede:...Shocking...
Zeus: Oh, and Ganymede? I'll have you as desert...
Hera:...Shocking...

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*During Zeus' and Hera's wedding*
What Hera hears: 'eternal love, forever together, king and queen of the gods!' 'yeah, I do...'
What Zeus hears: 'blah, blah, blah, blah, blah' 'I do!'
Amore e Psyche (Psyche Revived by Cupid's Kiss)
Antonio Canova, 1787