helpme

“My rescue cat allows me to help him groom”

that one where some girl claimed people thought her car was the tardis, so she leapt out of it and looked at her boobs like “wow that’s a development” and ran off

 hipster blog vs. fandom blog in a starbucks

people singing “let it go” on a bus???

that student who looked into the security cameras in their school’s classroom whenever something stupid would happen and then the security guard thanked them personally

some guy fixing the lights in a store by holding up a sonic screwdriver

homestuck updates, a girl screams, the police come, one of the officers also reads homestuck, he starts freaking out, the other officer gives him a shock blanket

a girl has a joking argument with a police officer who’s a “mei main”

every time a waiter comes back to the table, they say a different supernatural/sherlock/dr. who pun, and the poster continues to fall out of their seat because they’re laughing so hard

someone catches someone on a bus says “i think you fell for me” and the entire bus applauds

a girl wants to buy a led zeppelin cd and the cashier wants her to buy a one direction cd then the manager comes out and yells at the cashier and thanks the girl for having awesome music tastes

boyfriend and girlfriend walk into store, girlfriend complaining that books are horrible, boyfriend breaks up with her

female student: *says something bitchy*                                                      nerd student: *calls her a slut*                                                                    teacher: *laughs*

girl says alohamora to open locked door, it opens, classmates cheer

AND MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE

1. Don’t be a dick

2. The compassion you have for your loved ones should be extended to all people

3. Freedom is the right of all sentient beings

4. Every The Side That Fucks user gets to have at least one cool alien monster as a mount

5. No Force power is off limits so long as you subscribe to rule 1, there’s no reason shooting lightning from your fingertips should be inherently evil

6. Every thursday you gotta cook a porg with force lightning, trust me it’s delicious

The Nara deer, the ones who bow for their feed crackers, who would usually be fed by visitors to the park, are wandering out of the park and into strange places in search of food and, presumably, people.

And then you actually get into it.  And it’s like:

Wait, which one of these ladies is constantly getting arrested, and is usually the first person to suggest day-drinking to avoid problems?  Wait, it’s the gawky awkward one?  And which one has the deep pit of boiling rage at the moral failings of the world that she tries to hide under a cheerful exterior until it pops out at inopportune times?  That’s got to be the cleric, right?  Oh, nope, it’s the awkward one again.

Well okay, sure, but the one who adopts an orphan animal and raises it as her own child, that’s got to be the awkward animal-lover who doesn’t do people too, right?  Or maybe it’s the sweet cherubic little cleric, apparently there’s a whole pattern of saving orphans, that should track.  The one who checks in on everybody else’s feelings rather than sharing her own, even after she dies, the one who actually ends the story with the perfect fairytale happily-ever-after picturebook husband and castle and five fat babies, that’s the–huh.  You’re telling me that’s the sexy one with the lockpicks and assassination skills?  Really?

And now apparently one of them wears full plate armor and goes pit-fighting for fun and has an enormous tolerance for ale, well, that doesn’t sound like any of those three, but–oh, I’m hearing that that is in fact the tiny white-haired cleric of a goddess of sun and healing?  And that while she’s always willing to talk about emotions she’s actually constantly completely unsure of what hers actually are or what she’s supposed to be doing with them, ever?

And all three of them will fuck you up with brutal lack of mercy if you mess with them and theirs?  And all three of them fall in love and their own emotions are just as important to the narrative as their male love interests’?  Are we sure that’s how this trio is supposed to work?

What I love about the ladies of the Mighty Nein, on the other hand, is that they said ‘fuck it’ to the entire trope and went, hey, our ladies be like:

furious rebellious people-punching librarian who can’t actually talk to people and sucks at sitting still;

alcoholic thief with raging anxiety issues and also zero compunctions stabbing you right now who sucks at checking for traps;

sweet adorable trickster cleric who will prank your ass, your mom’s ass, and your god’s ass and sucks at remembering to heal;

flower-collecting parent-slaughtering amazon widow with amazing quiet deadpan humor who sucks at not being terrifying

For a huge pile of tiny rocks, you live a surprisingly nomadic lifestyle. More than a hundred years of tourism and foot traffic has destroyed much of the native grass that kept you stationary. You are now what they call a “wandering dune”, as wind off the lake slowly but steadily pushes your tremendous bulk a little further inland every year.

As you move, you gradually engulf everything in your path—trees, buildings, rocks, hills, your own parking lot—everything. You are an unstoppable force, like some kind of gigantic gelatinous cube, but you’re still very popular with visitors.

In 2013, you suddenly eat a child. It’s a surprising move on your part—dry quicksand isn’t supposed to be a real natural phenomenon. I mean, what is this, a 1960’s action movie?

One moment, a family from Illinois is cheerfully climbing your slopes. The next, the 6 year old boy suddenly vanishes without warning, leaving no trace. Would-be rescuers dig in the sand where he disappeared until their hands are bleeding. Geologists insist that he must have wandered off, because enormous piles sand physically cannot form hollows or pockets within themselves—but three hours later, he is found, unconscious but alive, buried almost twelve feet deep in the sand.

I have no reason for posting this other than saying that it makes me stupidly happy to watch and cheers me up whenever I feel sad. It’s adorable 

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