Picking LINT off the sofa?!

anyone else finding the torment relentless

whenever I tell a story I feel like Uncle Colm from Derry Girls

i am so . forgets what i was going to say and starts sobbing and banging my head against the wall

I wanna do something with my life, like watch more movies.

what they don’t tell you is that the urge to just leave and start over somewhere far away only gets stronger the older you get

wuh oh guys! Set thrusters to bedtime because I just got a signal from planet Sleepy: they are going to kill us with lasers

hey diva no shade but I have stationed mercenaries at the edge of your kingdom’s borders

when you have a hammer everything looks like a guy you could kill with a hammer