A S T R O L O G Y

*Careful! Contains elements of sarcasm.

Rhett Butler, sexy and sarcastic twat with a heart of gold (literally, because he is that rich) who enjoys making fun of everything and everyone and watching dumb people being dumb // Aries

brutally honest, handsome, physically strong, sarcastic, selfish, self-confident, drawn by goodness, afraid of rejection, wild behaviour, rebellious, charming, “ungentlemanly”, often amused and seldom serious

Edmond Dantès (Count of Monte Christo), a very decent guy who is imprisoned without any logical reason but manages to break out, starts a spicy campaign to avenge himself upon all the dumbasses who turned him in, becomes rich and powerful, HOT! // Taurus

kind, honest, innocent, living by traditional codes, naturally intelligent, honorable, driven by duty, loving, forgiving, later bitter and vengeful, hateful, resourceful, imaginative, protective

Mr. Fitzwiliam Darcy, a snobbish and arrogant jackass who so mercifully decided to propose to Elizabeth “against his better judgement” when he obviously could’ve had every woman in England // Gemini

honest, self-confident, feels superior, prideful, arrogant, assuming, sensitive, later easygoing, introverted, great communicating skills, great at analysing and organizing, has own set of values, dismissive, aloof, brave and stubborn, protective, chivalrous

Jay Gatsby, a romantic and gentle flower that is ridiculously obsessed with the past and can’t get over himself, seemingly thinks he’s the nicest guy in the universe and a beast in bed, tbh why would Daisy even look at other men? // Cancer

dreamer, restless, delusional, charming, gracious, enigmatic, kind-hearted, determined, wealthy, passionate, dedicated to love, optimistic, energetic, loving, lives in another world, giving, caring, nostalgic

Harry Potter, a dork who needs friends who save him from all the stupid bullshit he attempts to do, he wouldn’t even have managed to get through the first year of school without Hermione and Ron, being his companion includes being dragged into some seriously concerning and dangerous shit // Leo

brave, strong, devoted to his beliefs, strong-willed, warm-hearted, hot-tempered, impulsive, lack of emotional control, moody, witty, curious, protective, loving, humble, loyal, forgiving, grateful, stubborn, modest

Sherlock Holmes, a mental trainwreck and annoying know-it-all, I really understand why Dr. Watson is the only one who can stand his company because there’s not enough patience in the world to deal with this one, but I guess masterminds have to be hoes with a god-complex // Virgo

high intelligence, perceptive to details, workaholic, concentrates strongly, energetic, perfectionist, possesses a genius mind, creative imagination, stubborn, narcissistic, understands and analyzes human behaviour, lacks empathy for others, supresses emotions, overthinker

Atticus Finch, tbh I don’t know if there is a bad thing I could say about this man, he is a great and loving father, he is a badass lawyer and he shoots like a young god, i mean look at him! who wouldn’t want to be Mrs. Finch? // Libra

kind-hearted, fair, stern but loving, honest, consistent, fights for justice, calm, quiet, moral, open-minded, courageous, strong-minded, respectful, faithful, wise, empathetic, intelligent, omniscient, great guide/Mentor

Edward Fairfax Rochester, a rude and horny but romantic dude who totally forgot that he locked his wife in the basement and thinks bigamy is a perfectly legit thing // Scorpio

excessively passionate, guided by senses, good at reading other’s minds, wild, desires a new life, pompous, genuine, often incapable of restraining his desires, dark and brooding, seeks innocence and freshness in contrast to his troubled life, deeply loving

Enjolras, a super-handsome hunk who thinks about the Revolution 24/7, honestly so much wasted potential because where’s the romance?, but then again it is borderline sexy to fight for what you believe in // Sagittarius

believes in democracy and freedom, charming but also capable of being terrible, rebellious, determined, ambitious, stubborn,  passionate, wild, beautiful, has radical beliefs, stoic, unafraid, “gives more light”, typical leader

Macbeth, incredibly hot and brave warrior who has some trouble with his self-esteem and has to show his wife what a manly man he is, totally obsessed with power which is sexy at the beginning but then it just gets weird // Capricorn

brave and capable warrior, consuming ambition, self-doubt, powerful, lonely, feels guilty, very manly, kind at the beginning, treacherous, imaginative, ruthless, gullible, loving towards his wife, loyal when not inflicted with his ambition, arrogant, respectful

Jean Valjean, a former prisoner with a giant heart and a helper syndrome, tbh it’s a little bit annoying how good he actually becomes, particularly because he has a shit ton of own problems including a cop whose only mission in life is to catch him // Aquarius

honest, hard-working, compassionate, loving, willing to discover goodness, helps others, has a giant heart, idealist, takes responsibility if necessary, brave, selfless, intelligent and perceptive, strong and agile, protective, soft-hearted

Heathcliff, a really sexy beast with the attitude of a bad boy, can’t get over his first and only love and obviously has to behave like the biggest jerk on earth, obsessed with Catherine to the point where it gets really creepy, anyway I guess sex with him takes you to paradise // Pisces

A general description of a placement is definitely general, but once you take account of all the aspects, signs, and other influences into the chart, that general description isn’t so “general” anymore. It’s unique. Like you.

I think people saying astrology is too general is a big pet peeve of mine because if you’re finding yourself saying that a certain placement can be applied to anyone, you are not looking deep enough. You are not considering the whole chart. You are not taking everything into account and due to that, you are making an ignorant assumption.

I also feel like too many unrealistic expectations are placed into astrology also. No, just because you have Venus trine Jupiter in the 7th doesn’t mean you’ll be dating your crush. It could mean that you’ll be nice and generous to your friends. Astrology can only show you possibilities on what can happen in your life, WITHOUT taking the circumstances of your life completely into account. Circumstances are constantly changing all the time, and nothing can pinpoint a single occurrence. Astrology most definitely can’t, but it offers clues.

First Sphere – Seraphim, Cherubim, Thrones

Seraphim: Scorpio ~ the term ‘Seraphim’ has often been understood to refer to “fiery serpents.” It is said that anyone who lays eyes on a Seraph would instantly be incinerated due to its immense brightness They dwell in the presence of God and cleave to Him, and are immediately united to Him. They receive revelations of God before the other angels and then relate such information to them. Cherubin: Aries ~ The cherubs are guardians of God. They have been portrayed with round, angelic faces and also with four faces and flaming swords. Their role is to guard God’s Holy domain and presence from any sin and corruption. They are always radiant with the light of God Thrones: Aquarius and Leo ~ They are exempt from and untainted by any base and earthly things. Thrones possess the highest knowledge that angels can have of the works of God. The very essence of God’s Spirit is conveyed to and through these angels, who then pass on the message to men and/or lower classes of angels.

Second Sphere - Dominions, Virtues, Powers

Dominions: Capricorn ~ They are purified, illuminated and perfected by the divine Illuminations bestowed on them in a secondary manner through the first order of angels. Their primary function that God delegates to them is the task of regulating the duties of lower angels. As their name implies these angels present order to the lower ranks Virtues: Virgo & Taurus ~ Responsible for the maintenance of the physical universe. Their primary duty is to supervise the movements of the heavenly bodies in order to ensure that the cosmos remains in order. Powers: Libra ~ Some sources list Powers as the bearers of conscience. They sometimes serve as warrior angels, fiercely loyal to God. They work diligently to oversee the distribution of power among humankind, hence their name.

Third Sphere ~ Principalities, Archangels, Angels

Principalities: Sagittarius ~ Their duty also is to carry out blessings to the material world. As beings related to the world of the ideas, they inspire living things to many branches of knowledge such art and/or science. The management of the universe and the keeping of all the kingdoms and princedoms, of lands and all peoples, races and nations, is also entrusted to them Archangels: Gemini ~ According to Dionysius the Areopagite, their principle service consists in revealing prophecies, knowledge, and understanding of God’s will. Archangels govern affairs of the messengers of the various realms. Angels: Pisces & Cancer ~ Messengers that commune with various life forms within the physical worlds. This Order includes guardian angels of mankind, and as such, are the most accessible angels to humans.

Aries: as the most masculine of the masculine signs, Aries is polarizing in women.  She is loud, passionate, and enthusiastic, and people may find her irritating because she is more outgoing and selfish than women are expected to be.  She sticks to her truth and speaks her mind and may make people uncomfortable.  She might feel guilty about speaking too much when she sees how people respond to her and could become strangely withdrawn.  She is a loyal and protective friend who is apt to be compassionate and honest.  She probably has a lot of friends who are men and thinks that she gets along better with men than women.

Taurus: although ruled by the feminine planet Venus, Taurus is expressed rather peacefully in men.  He is patient, friendly, and likable, but he doesn’t talk much.  He is attractive and seems to have many friends, but he is shy and humble.  He is no womanizer, but he is popular among women due to his gentle nature and good looks.  He is stable and does well in everything but rarely ever exceeds.  He may be prone to shallowness and hedonism but he is always well-liked.  He is nondescript and never flashy and he enjoys the physical pleasures of life.

Gemini: the Gemini woman is seen as the ultimate devil due to the fact that she is not a Cancer, and therefore, not attached.  She is outgoing, charismatic, and incredibly charming.  Everyone likes her but they become annoyed when she doesn’t like them as much; she can’t help it, everyone seems to “click” with her.  She is hard to hold onto and even harder to understand, and that’s why people like her.  She doesn’t follow the standard rules of the woman, and that’s intriguing, although people ultimately think she is cold (on the inside, she isn’t).

Cancer: as the most feminine of the feminine signs, Cancer is often a difficult sign in men.  He is caring and emotional but society has convinced him that he shouldn’t be.  He is often extremely apathetic, going against his true nature, or violent, due to his not knowing how to handle his excessive emotions.  He is hyper-masculine and probably depends a lot on his mother.  He is not always a bad person, but he rarely understands that emotion and masculinity are not mutually exclusive.

Leo: the Leo woman is, like the Gemini woman, very much herself.  She is funny and friendly and people adore her, but shyer women tend to criticize her and claim that she’s seeking attention.  She does, in fact, seek attention, and she is in constant denial of that fact.  She is very romantic and often has crushes on people who give her attention.  She is loyal, but she doesn’t understand privacy and has a tendency to stick her nose where it doesn’t belong, simply because she doesn’t have much of a concept of what is and isn’t her business.

Virgo: the Virgo man is a smart, witty person who belongs to a friend group.  He seems unfriendly and people often think he is snobby, but his friends know him to be dependable and supportive.  He might be overly intellectual and, although he is emotional, detached.  He is private but he enjoys debate and sharing his opinions.  He is a good listener and an especially good friend.  He is funny, ambitious, and caring, but he has poor delivery.  

Libra: as the most feminine of the masculine signs, Libra translates easily into the feminine archetype.  She is fair, beautiful, and caring, and people like her immediately.  She can be prone to gossip and may be overly idealistic, but she has a kind heart.  She is often extremely submissive and has few of her own opinions and ideas.  She may be critical of women who aren’t original while not being original herself.

Scorpio: due to his Mars rulership, the Scorpio man fits a certain archetype of masculinity.  He is passionate, hardworking, and magnetic.  People find him very attractive and he has a voracious sexual appetite.  He is loving and loyal, but is possessive and obsessive.  When unstable, he can easily become abusive.  He has a dark sense of humor and is highly selective and not very friendly, but he has a lot of drive and is an interesting person.

Sagittarius: the Sagittarius woman is fairly similar to the Sagittarius man.  She values freedom but craves company, enjoys stability but is apt to abandon it.  She has excellent luck and is a truly dependable and kind person, although she is very righteous and has a hard time owning up to her mistakes.  She has many friends but is close to no one.  She is athletic, enthusiastic, and fun-loving, and she gets along pretty well with everyone.  She may use her femininity as a shield to protect herself from criticism.

Capricorn: as the most masculine of the feminine signs, Capricorn is right at home in a man.  He is ambitious, hardworking, and stable, but is conservative, stubborn, and extremely traditional.  He enjoys providing for his loved ones but might be quite greedy when giving to those outside of his household.  He is not particularly friendly nor likable and he is cold and withdrawn.  However, he harbors a secretly deep emotional life and loves fully.  He is a wonderful friend and a caring person but he struggles to reconcile his public and private lives.

Aquarius: the Aquarius woman is the only one to rival Gemini in terms of being controversial.  She is detached, intelligent, and thoroughly unromantic, meaning that it is difficult for society to trap her in a feminine role she does not desire. She is brilliant and never petty but she is prone to intense narcissism and is not loyal at all.  She rejects most traditionally feminine things and strives to set herself apart from other women.  She is strange, awkward, and may pretend to like she things that she doesn’t or vice versa merely to stand out.

The houses are old and young, and the signs were put into them for a reason. Here’s what I discovered about the ages and the signs and similarity has sparked with them. {@z-odiology}

Aries: 1 year old; reckless a bit aggressive, trying to find their way.

Taurus: 2 years old; trying to learn right and wrong already, a bit quiet.

Gemini: 3 years old; once they learn to talk, they never shut up {q;md.}, wants to learn everything.

Cancer: 4 years old; wants to care about everyone, can snap if pushed over the edge.

Leo: 5 years old; can be obsessed with themselves, sometimes they can be a bit withdrawn.

Virgo: 6 years old; aware of growing, realizes their parents ways and tries to copy (cleaning, talking, etc, etc).

Libra: 7 years old; the age where you want to try everything on, independence is something that is discovered but not quite learned fully yet.

Scorpio: 8 years old; change is happening, past occurrences and present occurrences mash up and is filled into the number eight, magic is present.

Sagittarius: 9 years old; adventure happens, mini fights and recess and sports is something that seems to be prominent.

Capricorn: 10 years old; realizes they’re not too old, and not too young, learns about responsibility and forced to grow up too young already.

Aquarius: 11 years old; friendships grow and part, isolation is something that they find comfort in most of the time, ambivert traits.

planets: actors (who)

signs: roles/costumes (how)

You see, astrology is something I have studied and enjoy because if gives me a new perspective on each individual I meet, as well as myself, as well as my spiritual ideals. I use this information to better myself, to understand others and try to broaden compassion and understanding. Surely you don’t have an issue with that, right?

Because everything that may be true, but cannot be proven empirically right now, should be taken with a grain of salt. I accept personal responsibility, I study the sky and the interrelation of energy forces, and I have a taste for astrology.

The 1st House is naturally cardinal, because it’s the beginning. You’re trying to figure out who it is inside of you - who your consciousness is. It’s the raw basics of who you are; You begin to ‘sketch’ your personality.

The 2nd House is fixed because it’s about anchoring yourself into the world with material ‘things’. You draw your clothes and the land around you, and begin to colour in neatly, not going over the lines.

The 3rd House is mutable because it’s about exploring the dimensions of who you can be - on a more trivial level than in the 9th House, though, of course. You’re just starting out! You put in the fine ink details on your self-portrait.

The 4th House is cardinal because you’re starting a new picture! Now you’re drawing your house (your personal world). Firstly, you have to decide who’s going to live in it with you! You draw photos of them on the walls.

The 5th House is fixed because you’re settling into your house, and now you feel comfortable. It’s secure and you don’t have to stay in there all the time. You can go out and have fun! You start colouring it in.

The 6th House is mutable because it’s about the elements of your personal world that will keep changing - like health, or work. You put books on the shelves, food in the cupboards and clocks on the walls.

The 7th House is cardinal because I’m afraid you’re moving house. Don’t be scared, though - now you’re going to stay with your partner! You attempt to capture their likeness, fingers twitching with excitement.

The 8th House is fixed because you’ll need to stay calm throughout this stage; it’s difficult. Your house is burning down, ready to be rebuilt, only much better. You viciously rub out every lovingly drawn detail.

The 9th House is mutable because it’s time to invent a new you, and you’ll have to differ from who you thought you were. You draw yourself again, only this time you’re much more beautiful, in every possible way.

The 10th House is cardinal because now you’re in a new world, one you’ve never seen before. You sketch buildings and people, bank notes and documents, but most importantly, your ladder to the top.

The 11th House is fixed because you are determined to do what needs to be done. You draw a circle of friends around you, and the finer details on people, on places - things you never noticed before. You draw the whole world.