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@toxic-sludge-syscourse
Congratulations I've been burned enough to make this blog
Fun facts:
- I am an adult
- I am diagnosed with DID
That's all have fun
I do not block unless you are doing illegal shit/harassing me. Block me if you don't want me to interact with you/see your posts.
I respect trigger related DNIs. I do not respect syscourse/discourse related DNIs since, why are you dishing it out if you can't take it?? If you wanna remain in your echo chamber block me.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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things you DO NOT need to be a man
a dick
he/him pronouns
XY chromosomes
things you DO need to be a man
the swiftness of a coursing river
the force of a great typhoon
the strength of a raging fire
the mysteriousness of the dark side of the moon
^this post was brought to you by LGBT^
Let's
Get down to
Business
To defeat the huns
"live everyday like it's your last" wonderful! a great quote to live by if we do say so ourselves. a little ...morbid, despite.
"live everyday like it's your first" does inspire a little more. we see colors a little brighter when we think of the quote. we feel like a child again. a little comes close to front.
and it helps a lil with dissociation !
[ ID: back and forth swinging white text with a transmasculine colored thick border that reads "Masculinity Isn't evil" /end ID ]
to put in as simply as i can. telling someone that you do not believe their experiences with themself, that science has yet to prove either way, saying that is inherently wrong ableist and that they don't actually know themselves, is not kind. no matter how you word it. people are allowed to take offense to that, and people have every right to not want to be around you after that.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Don't let your experience of a CDD define someone else's. We are all different from each other. Our experiences are as unique as we are.
trauma so bad my coping mechanisms have names and pronouns
it wasn't your fault btw. you were a kid. idk what you expect you could've done differently
Being a system is so weird like my mummy and daddy didn't like me so now I'm sans the skeleton
"how do you get "friends in your head" DID?"
recovery.
recovery.
i consider myself pretty good friends (or at least coworkers of sorts) with all of my alters at this point. im on great terms with most of them and theres a lot of familial and kinship bonds between us. and it was not always like that.
we were at odds for years. and i had to work on both overall self-love and individual respect-building for each alter. for years. and its a lot better now that im in a safe physical environment. but i still have to keep working at it every day.
look, if you wanna bitch about your alters all day and how much you hate them and they hate you, go for it. i aint telling anyone what to do. but i am saying that focusing on repairing those bonds with the facets of myself id dissociated from made me feel a lot better than bitching about them ever did.
talking badly of your alters does the same subconscious thing as talking badly of yourself.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Friendly reminder that declaring your blog a "safe space for systems of all origins" makes your blog explicitly not safe for trauma survivors. Allow sheep and wolves, and you'll only end up with wolves.
*cough* trauma response
Endos aren't the people who abused you
Endos are not automatically abusive
Endos are not automatically invasive or dangerous
They pose about the same amount of risk as any other human does
Why are we treating endos like they killed our mom, dog, cat and sister and then set fire to our house they are literally internet strangers
Lmao
I dont hate endos as individuals, really I don't. I hate the ableism and misinformation they perpetuate. I hate the way they tell systems that their disability isn't actually disabling.
Yesterday I saw someone saying that factives and factkins were the same and there was no difference between them. When I tried to explain the difference (without bringing up syscourse btw) they told me off for being anti Endo and said other endos agreed with them.
Both pro endo and anti endo spaces contain about the same amount of misinformation.
I've spent, a ton of time in traumagenic anti endo spaces, and the misinformation isn't any different or better or worse.
I don't claim that pro endos are any better. I have actively left pro endo spaces because the misinformation train hurt my brain. But I've left trauma only spaces for the same reasons.
Becoming pro endo has been both a blessing and a curse because now i (in my opinion) am taking a kinder and more scientifically correct stance, except i also now see the deep deep flaws in the anti-endo community and kind of the whole CDD community and it hurts me.
Ive been cast out of a lot of CDD-only places (despite being diagnosed with one) because i hold these opinions, opinions which i wouldnt have even talked about in these spaces if it werent for the near constant rattling on about endos in spaces which have nothing to do with them. Some servers literally force you to disclose your opinion on them before joining, its ridiculous.
You cant go more than 30 seconds in DID tags without finding some post tagged with "endos dni" or "fuck off endos" and you cant go more than like 60 without finding one directly talking about them. ... but why? If endos are so unlike people with DID why do you all keep banging on about them to an obsessive level, they arent even doing anything except existing with a similarish thing.
And anti-endos employ logical fallacies or cognitive dissonance in basically every post i read. Strawmanning when they say endos claim to have DID, completely ignoring or misconstruing evidence because it doesn't fit their viewpoints, etc. My breaking point was when i saw sophie giving some dudes academic sources, and their only response was to conjure up slurs and source some random ass website, that was actual madness.
All this to say i am disappointed and upset and the alarming amount of people who follow all this shit without question, so so many support places for my disorder i am blocked out of just because people cannot be bothered to do more than baseline research on a subject. I do geniunely suspect that a lot of anti-endos refuse to engage with research they know would prove them wrong because they know if they show the slightest sign of belief towards endos they will be thrown right out of many supportive places, places where they may have close friends.
I guess my point is do sometimes question your own beliefs, and dont be afraid to change them if you find they aren't actually all that solid, even if your belief is unpopular its better to be kind and honor the truth than to never change out of the fear of judgement.
Evidence for plurality outside of DID is NOT hard to come across.
The existence of multiple selves in normality, spirtuality and also in other disorders that arent just DID are pretty well studied. Here are a few sources that I found just today and im sure by reading these texts yourself and by following up on the references cited within them, you can find even more evidence. btw, definitely do not use z-library or sci-hub to access these sources if they are paywalled.. thatd be just awful...
On Multiple Selves, By David Lester This book is fantastic for talking about plurality not just in DID but in many different situations. It mentions the theories of dozens of psychologists which include the experience plurality-- not just in DID or pathology --showing that this subject IS well studied. A lot of these experiences and theories are remarkably similar to what endogenic systems commonly purport online as I will show in screenshots below. Even though there are screenshots i implore you to access this resource yourself, it's great and has so many different viewpoints on this subject.
Handbook of psychiatric measures (2nd edition., pages 587–599). by American Psychiatric Publishing, Inc. Description: This resource is specifically on psychiatric measurement tools and diagnostic tools, but mentions DID and non pathological forms of plurality briefly. note "e.g." means EXAMPLE not the only possible experience of non-pathological dissociation.
Moreira-Almeida A, Neto FL, Cardeña E. Comparison of brazilian spiritist mediumship and dissociative identity disorder. J Nerv Ment Dis. 2008 Description: Studies about mediumship and a comparsion to those with DID, note that mediumship is being studied as a psychological dissociative phenomenon here and not particularly as a solely religious one, they are considering psychological explainations & factors. It is stated literally "there is empirical evidence that nonpathologic dissociative and mediumistic states have occured throughout history and in most societies". Though mediumship is often a spiritual experience I think the underlying psychological causes can be studied and equated to non-pathological/non-traumagenic plurality.
Lewis-Fernández, R. (1998). A cultural critique of the DSM-IV dissociative disorders section. Transcultural Psychiatry, 35(3), 387–400. Description: Addresses concerns that the DSM-IV criteria for DID does not properly address non-pathological dissociation considered a part of normality in many cultures. Here it mentions that in some cultures dissociation in rituals and practices is normal and not pathological. I believe that this same view could also be applied to types of western endogenic plurality, as these also could be influenced by cultural factors as a form of dissociation that is not pathological. I would like to see more research specifically into western endogenic plurality!
If you want papers directly stating "Endogenic plurality is real & DID isnt the only way to experience it" there just probably isnt any. I dont think many of these researcher even know of online communities and our terms, but there is LOTS of research into plurality outside of DID & pathology, you just have to look for it and fit it to your use-case. A lot of these are talking about spiritual and cultural experiences, this doesnt mean they arent real or arent based on underlying actual psychological experience, and most these studies/articles are specifically focusing on the psychological aspect. Mediumship is a common example of non-pathological dissociative experience, mainly because its more known and well studied, but I believe studies on western endogenic plurality would likely have similar studies. Nonetheless it does confirm that non-pathological & non-traumagenic dissociative experiences have led to plurality-like experiences, at least in some cultures around the world.
Plurality, multiplicity, and systems are not synonyms for DID. They are umbrellas that include DID as well as other disordered and non-disordered experiences of being more than one person or personality in one body over time.
Friendly reminder that declaring your blog a "safe space for systems of all origins" makes your blog explicitly not safe for trauma survivors. Allow sheep and wolves, and you'll only end up with wolves.
*cough* trauma response
Endos aren't the people who abused you
Endos are not automatically abusive
Endos are not automatically invasive or dangerous
They pose about the same amount of risk as any other human does
Why are we treating endos like they killed our mom, dog, cat and sister and then set fire to our house they are literally internet strangers
Lmao
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Been seeing a lot of "endos DNI, also mixed origin systems and endo supporters included in the DNI too" lately, much more than usual. Which is absolutely ridiculous coming from the people claiming to protect "real DID/OSDD" systems, considering as long as you support endogenics you're added into the DNIs and grouped in as a "fake". Looks like they have their priorities straight! Definitely looks like it's about protecting disordered systems and not about simple exclusionism to me!
SO. On that sarcastic note.
Mixed origin systems, you deserve supportive spaces. You should be able to access both traumagenic and endogenic spaces if both apply to you. You don't deserve to be cast aside like that. If you have traumagenic aspects to your system, you belong in traumagenic spaces. If you have endogenic aspects to your system, you belong in endogenic spaces. The two aren't mutually exclusive.
Disordered endogenic systems, you should have access to spaces for people with your disorder and I hope you're able to find the support you need. I hope you're able to avoid the discourse and find a community you can feel safe in. You're not less disordered because you're endogenic.
Systems of any origin with CDDs such as DID or OSDD who support endogenics, you shouldn't be barred from your own spaces because you support other groups. You deserve kindness, support, and community, just as anyone else does. Your support of endogenics does not and will never mean you should be removed from CDD spaces and it certainly doesn't mean you're unsafe for those with CDDs to be around.
Endogenic supporters of any kind, your support is immensely appreciated. You also don't deserve to be picked apart and cast out simply based on your support of a group of people. Genuinely thank you for supporting endogenics regardless.
People out here treating endos and pro-endos like they are their abusers lmao
For the 100th time the traumagenic anti-endo crowd is full of trauma responses and they can't even see it
Hot take: The "If you think you're faking, you're not!" stuff that's constantly pushed in the sys community is extremely harmful and completely false. Faking is not always intentional and I wish more people would listen to former fakers. People need to stop demonizing former fakers. I'm friends with multiple people who used to fake and all but one of them said this rhetoric is part of what stopped them realizing for do long. Imitative DID is a thing and it's horrible to have. It can get you into such a deep hole that's hard to get out of. People talking about being concerned that they could be faking shouldn't automatically be dismissed or told they're not. Yes, denial is a real and common thing in DID but that doesn't mean it's always just denial.
I'm just gonna have to tell you this; if it's unintentional then it's not faking. That is the point. That is what a majority of people mean. You can be mistaken, yes, but that doesn't mean you're faking. A mistake ≠ a harmful action. Faking is something done intentionally, usually maliciously, it cannot be done on accident or because you just thought you had the symptoms when it was actually something completely different. "Former fakers" are either people who were confused and mistook it for something else or people who intentionally faked it and are therefore not welcome among me and my community (unless they were like, really young, I any forgive that because kids are stupid). I understand what you mean, but words mean things. Don't misuse them.
Exactly. Mislabeling your symptoms is not faking. Would we say the same things about someone who was diagnosed with the wrong physical illness? The symptoms aren't all of the sudden not real or valid.
Faking is intentional. Misdiagnosis is not faking. It's misdiagnosis.
