shit posting forever.

The Sacrifice is a short 5 part original sci-fi romance comic written by @audieoddity for the Webtoons Short Story competition.

The story features young astrophysicist Moira Cattaneo, chosen to be a representative of humanity when a mysterious 27,000ft tall monolith appears outside of a small village.

Moira is teleported to a dimension beyond belief, where she meets a being like no other. The story touches on the timelessness of life, death, and love.

Read Time: ~10 minutes Rating: Teen Content Warnings: Death, mentions of sex

If you like the story, make sure to like and comment on it! I personally thought the story was very sweet and I loved the unique character design.

So, sidequesting while the other two members of our party were away, the DM set up a dungeon crawl.

DM: You encounter a large figure wielding a greataxe wearing a minotaur skull. Roll for initiative.

Half-Orc Warrior (Me, OOC): Is it a skeleton? Because if it is then it’s boned.

DM: I aught to kill you off for that. Roll perception.

Half-Orc Warrior: Crit fail.

DM: You can’t tell. Actually, you don’t see sh*t.

Dragonborn Mage (who got wrecked by the monster before): Yeah, it’s a skeleton.

Half-Orc Warrior: Huh, okay. Welp, time’s up let’s do this LEEEEEEEROOOY JEEEEEENKINSSSS!

This girl who I vaguely knew from the coffee shop showed up one day and said she thought her mom had died that morning and I figured she was probably overreacting so I said I’d go check with her and it turns out her mom HAD died but we honestly weren’t sure when it had happened so I lifted her off the bed and attempted CPR and then ended up having to talk to cops and this poor girl’s family for HOURS as she called her dad and brothers and the cops wanted to know if the mom was on any medications or if she had been depressed and I was like “I have no idea, I had literally never met the lady and I don’t even know the family’s last name, the first ever full conversation I had with the daughter was this morning.” And apparently THAT was super suspicious or something.

So anyway that was a rough day and the next day I go into the coffee shop and the manager (who is basically never in) comes over and says “Debbie says you had a rough day yesterday.” And I was like “uh, yeah. It was pretty weird.” And then he was like “Debbie says that you handled it really well. And that you filled out an application to work here a couple weeks ago.” And I was like “I guess?” And he was like “Okay you can do a training shift today and you’re on your own tomorrow. We don’t normally hire people under 21 and we don’t normally hire regulars so don’t fuck up.” (I was 18)

So I started working at the cash-only coffee shop that was patronized exclusively by the weirdest people in town (who had all slept with each other, had no money, and had the most drama of any group I’ve ever been part of) and was used to launder money made by the owner’s cocaine sales for the local gang.

The first shift I worked alone was the next night and when I called the manager and told him one of the regulars had been chasing people out of the parking lot to sell meth the manager told me to ban him so I was like “Hey dude, manager says you’re banned” and he was like “You’re a fucking cunt and I’m going to wait until you’re alone and I’m gonna fucking kill you” and then he drove around the block about twenty times and screamed “cunt” out the window every time he passed by where I was cleaning the patio.

One of the regulars, who was a nearly-seven-foot-tall hacker and gunsmith who worked graveyard in Hollywood, waited around for me to finish closing and then offered to drive me home because otherwise I’d have to walk three miles alone and there was that whole “circling meth dealer” thing going on. I decided to take a chance on getting a ride from tall, dark, and scary and that paid off pretty well because it’s been fifteen years and I’ve been married to that tall weirdo since 2011.

Didn’t know androids had nightmares too…

So here’s a true story: my father, sometime in the 70s was looking for his first job. He went to the local McDonalds and told the staff, [manager’s name] said I was supposed to start today. They took his word for it and started training him and by the time the manager saw him and asked who he was, people just said “oh that’s the new guy.”

Somehow this actually worked. My dad worked there for a couple of years as a cook. He even won an award plaque which he had on the wall until the day he died.

me:

warlock gf:

me:

warlock gf:

me:

warlock gf: so dinner tonight is kind of a deconstructed pasta bake

me: by deconstructed you mean

warlock gf: i eldritch blasted it