But... but I want it

every time i sit down 2 watch a horror movie i think of that one tweet :/

there’s a japanese radish just below this post but you can’t reach it

Why is it easier and more comfortable to sit in a position that actively damages my joints than it is to just sit with okay posture. Why does my body crave its own destruction

e me a mail

make the attachment a pic of a snail

I still reference this post today. And yes, when I say I reference it I mean I sing it.

your email found me at the grocery store irl. that's crazy that you gave it little legs and everything. it walked right up to me. everyone was so scared one person screamed when i picked it up. i said it's okay you just do this kind of thing sometimes. while i was reading, its little legs were just sort of dangling in the air. someone asked me if it's alive and if holding it like that made it uncomfortable. i told them idk i just get the emails i don't send them.

im not the same person i was when I pulled that meat out of the freezer this morning. I've changed. i don't have that in me anymore. ive moved on

they're hiring me at the extra virgin olive oil factory as the oathsworn knight who protects the chastity of the olives

many dishonourable knaves in the notes of this post

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

The sooner you start, the sooner you'll be done with it and the sooner you can stop thinking about it. Go on, up you get, it won't be as bad as you think.

You won't want to do it later either. You might as well just do it now. Even if you don't finish it all, anything you manage to get done now is something you don't have to do later (when you still won't want to do it)