Stuff, stuff and more stuff!

I love mothman so fucking much

If you have difficulty maintaining social bonds, concentrating, sleeping, focusing, or regulating your emotions, it’s because you’re traumatised. If you’re not happy with yourself, if you worry you’re a burden, you’re toxic, that you don’t matter, it’s because you’re traumatised. If you struggle to make it out of bed, think straight, get motivated or distracted, it’s because you’re traumatised.

Have you ever been told you’re too dramatic, or emotional? Has anyone wondered why you trust no one? Why you analyse every person’s smallest behaviour? Why you’re paranoid of the most minor signs of history repeating itself? It’s because you’re traumatised.

Jenny: And I’m Jenny. Coming up later: Fish as a pet - cute or gross? The answer may not surprise you if you agree fish are gross.

Jake: They’re low maintenance and majestic, but more on that later. Our top story tonight, a new development in the ongoing fight over the shower’s infamous bottle district. For more, we go to Jenny on the scene.

Jenny: Thanks Jake. I’m here at the southeast shower where the historic bottles have just been granted protective landmark status.

Jake: Now, Jenny, what does this mean for other residents trying to clean up the area for other use?

Jenny: It means they can suck it, Jake. This status prevents the removal of any bottle at any time.

Jake: Well, Jenny, some would ask why not remove empty bottles?

Jenny: That’s like asking why not remove Stonehenge or why not remove the pyramids!

Jake: Well it’s a little different ‘cause those aren’t just empty bottles.

Jenny: Jake, you don’t realize how stupid you sound right now. Nearly all of these bottles contain a small about of shampoo residue. When mixed with fresh shower water, you get bonus shampoo.

Jake: But why do we need bonus shampoo?

Jenny: In case we run out of regular shampoo.

Jake: But there’s new bottles!

Jenny: Jake, you either get it or you don’t.