I feel like saying "actually, women naturally care less about looks than men" in response to incels is pointless for a few reasons.
• It's not true. Sure, there are studies showing women prioritize other attributes, but couple these studies with a society that was built with the intention of women remaining so subordinate to men that they didn't have the opportunity to prioritize their own desires in the first place until they had financial independence.
• We are seeing changes in dating patterns in societies where women do have more economic power than they used to. These changes include more women dating men younger than them, and a decline of relationships with large age gaps.
• Many men are upset precisely because women have choices now, and because women can subject them to the same standards they subject women to. For this reason, I don't deny standards can be unfair. I just don't feel bad at all--it's a balance.
Basically I truly think a lot of grievances towards women right now are part of growing backlash to social change. Also, a lot of women prioritized independence out of necessity--they saw what women in their families endured in more "traditional" relationships and never wanted to end up in the same situation. This means a lot of women may choose to be single and be fine with it, and men warning them they'll be alone forever does absolutely nothing.
