some of the CQL/MDZS sketches Iâve compiled lately from my twitter
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@too-cheap-too-sleep
some of the CQL/MDZS sketches Iâve compiled lately from my twitter

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Peerless cucumber sketch from my twitter
The Journey So Far:Â
DO:: Self isolate, wash your hands, no rimming, get enough sleep, and help at-risk groups if you are able to do so without compromising them.
DO NOT:: Go out with friends, stand closer than 6Ⲡ(1.82 m) from others, touch your face, or hold large gatherings.
Things will be weird for a while, and the news is always scary, but as long as everyone takes care and stays calm, we will all get through this together :) itâs going to be weird the next few months, but just remember to take things one single day at a time.Â
Deep breath, fix your posture, and take a drink of water. The world will keep on spinning, and the memes will keep on coming.
Stay safe, stay healthy, and stay sane.
~Wuxian-vs-Wangji // Krissy
A collection of John Mulaney Untamed mems because Iâm bored
Zonghui, what do you need? Iâm practicing saber!
â Nie Huaisang being a clown in The Untamed: Fatal Journey (2020)

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Iâm so confused why he would think cookie dough would give him salmonella??? What parent told him this. Thereâs no chicken in there!
Two words: Raw eggs.
?? What kind of world do you live in where Raw eggs carry salmonella or are in anyway unsafe
Donât ask me, ask them Americans. Iâm an Asian just passing the word on
*deep breath* Though the risk is small, raw eggs can carry samonella.
MORE THREATENINGLY Raw wheat can carry E. Coli. However, if you donât mind making your own cookie dough, you can easily make it safely.
Take your standard recipe. Omit the eggs. Eggs serve as a binding agent to hold the cookie together. Since weâre eating the dough raw, thatâs not needed. Take the flour, put it in a pan and bake it at 350 for 7 minutes. Any E. Coli is now dead.
Just mix the rest of the ingredients together as the recipe is called for and BAM, perfectly safe edible cookie dough.
Thank u so fucking much for this wisdom
wait youâre telling my i can get E, Coli just FROM EATING FLOUR straight from the bag???
Why..why are you eating flour straight from the bag?
meirl
fucked up how cooking and baking from scratch is viewed as a luxuryâŚ..like baking a loaf of bread or whatever is seen as something that only people with money/time can do. Iâm not sure why capitalism decided to sell us the idea that we canât make our own damn food bc itâs a special expensive thing thatâs exclusive to wealthy retirees but itâs stupid as hell and it makes me angry
bread takes like max 4 ingredients counting water and sure it takes a couple hours but 80% of that is just waiting around while it does the thing and you can do other things while itâs rising/baking plus im not gonna say baking cured my depression bc it didnât but man is it hard to feel down when youâre eating slices of fresh bread you just made yourself. feels like everythingâs gonna be a little more ok than you thought. itâs good.
bread is amazing and itâs also been sold to us as something really hard to make? Every time I tell someone I made a loaf of bread I get reactions like âyou made it yourself???â and âdo you have a bread machine then?â I havenât touched a bread machine in probably 10 years. You CAN make your own bread, folks, and itâs actually pretty cheap to do so. I believe the most expensive thing I needed for it was the jar of yeast. It was about $6 at the grocery store and lasted me MONTHS (just keep it in the fridge.) The packets are even cheaper. destroy capitalism. bake your own bread.
You can also make your own yeast by making a sourdough starter, so that cuts cost even more.
But you have to feed the starter daily/weekly and that means it grows quickly, but there are tons of recipes online for what to do with your excess starter. Cookies, pretzels, crackers, pancakes, waffles, you name it!!
Hereâs a link to The Home Baking Associationâs site. It has recipes and tips.
Make it even easier - âNo-Knead Breadâ. All YOU do is mix the ingredients together and wait until itâs time to heat the oven. The yeast does all the rest.
Hereâs @dduaneââs first take on it and the finished product. Weâve made even more photogenic batches since.
Kneading is easy as well; either let your machine do it, or if you donât want to or donât have one, get hands-on. Itâs like mixing two colours of Plasticine to make a third. Flatten, stretch, fold, half-turn, repeat - it takes about 10 minutes - until the gloopy conglomeration of flour, yeast, salt and water that clings to your hands at the beginning, becomes a compact ball that doesnât stick to things and feels silky-smooth.
Hereâs what before and after look like.
My Mum used to say that if you were feeling out of sorts with someone, it was good to make bread because you could transfer your annoyance into kneading the dough REALLY WELL, and both you and the bread would be better for it.
Then you put it into a bowl, cover it with cling-film and let it rise until it doubles in size, turn it out and âknock it backâ (more kneading, until itâs getting back to the size it started, this means there wonât be huge âis something living in here?â holes in the bread), put it into your loaf-tin or whatever - weâve used a regular oblong tin, a rectangular Pullman tin with a lid, a small glass casserole, an earthenware chicken roasterâŚ
You can even use a clean terracotta flowerpot.
Let the dough rise again until itâs high enough to look like an unbaked but otherwise real loaf, then pop it in the preheated oven. On average we give ours 180°C / 355°F for 45-50 minutes. YM (and oven) MV.
Hereâs some of our breadâŚ
Hereâs our default bread recipe - it takes about 3-4 hours from flour jar to cutting board depending on climate (warmer is faster) most of which is rise time and baking; hands-on mixing, kneading and knocking-back is about 20 minutes, tops, and less if using a mixer.
Here ( or indeed any of the other pics) is the finished product. This one was given an egg-wash to make it look glossy and keep the poppy-seeds in place; mostly we donât bother with that or the slash down the middle, but all the extras were intentional as a âready for my close-upâ glamour shot.
I think any shop would be happy to have something this good-looking on their shelf. Weâre happy to have it on our table.
Even if your first attempts donât work out quite as well as you hope, you can always make something like thisâŚ
can we have more posts like this in future please? this is really useful and could help those who are struggling
People who arenât panic buying and just need basic necessities

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cancelling my evil plans due to coronavirus
postponing my villainous scheme to test out my latest evil invention on the city due to everyone being quarantined
i know itâs you megamind
AO3 truly has captured the heart and the soul of our times
Meme idea
Photoshop the goose from untitled goose game into the background of a photo of a place where something bad happens, but itâs a photo of before the bad thing happening, so itâs implied that the goose caused it
like this
@ask-link-the-hylian-champion
OH IF I HAD PHOTOSHOP THE TITANIC WOULD BE MY FIRST TARGET
Say no more
You are my personal hero I hope you know this
May I present a humble alternative, where the goose is present during the bad thing happening, example:
Oh my god
Put him in Pompeii
i hope itâs okay that this one is stylized;; our dear time traveler must stay with the times if they must wreak havoc appropriately
@grimmtales13 @timetravelingcacti
Your wish is my command
DOES THE GOOSE HAVE A FUCKIN KNIFE TOO!?
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
this knife has caused me more suffering than any amount of editing will in my life
I'm sure Julius Caesar felt the same fucking way about the knife
Too soon-
ITS BEEN OVER 2000 YEARS (according to google)
Have we tried turning 2020 off and back on again?Â
We tried that. It shorted out and set fire to Australia.
Seeing biblical teachings being reversed into conservative teachings is one of the funniest things holy shit. Like this makes it painfully clear that Jesus taught the exact opposite of all these things yet conservatives in the US wanna call themselves âmen of godâ.

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They cheered for the baby and booed everyone else. This is the greatest thingÂ
(i saw this on twitter but hadnât seen it on tumblr so i needed to post it. pls watch this)
This is what sports should be about <3
me: i feel like reading some light fics tonight, something under 10k
ao3: shows me the perfect tags, everything i wanted, everything i love
fic:
me: