loving me is complicated

welcome to body world (inhales shakily through my clenched teeth) a world where everyone has a body

you’re so fucking spoiled you get to pick out which radiator you get chained to

lowkey i just killed all innocents

notice how no one died

how I feel when I do a reading about my love life

"whats your 5 year plan?" buddy I nearly go insane thinking about what I should have for dinner

Hanging out with people will make you remember you're the crazy woke friend for like. not wanting to shop at shien

basically the best thing a story can have is a woman who is doomed. massive points if she destroys the people around her in response.

stop tagging men on this post i'm going to kill us both

sometimes I have to stop myself from posting shit like "who made replacing a bike chain so erotic" because I remember the number of people who see my posts and I have to take a step back and reconsider my choices. sometimes I have to hide my true and sincere thoughts in a post about how I'm not posting them because it is funnier this way

whatever. it's just reaching between all its delicate parts to wrench out its guts with lots of sweating and straining. while it's upside down and immobilised. and then it's just taking the slick and shiny new chain and feeding it gently through gears and between metal before pulling it taut until the derailleur is extended and the chain clicks into place and can no longer be removed. I; think I'm bicycle. I mean bisexual

Ken was created from Barbie’s rib

youve heard of penis envy now get ready for vagina guilt