Meadow

Whether I would like to be around anyone who has harmed me is for me and that person to figure out. Whether anyone wants to be kept away from someone who has harmed them is up to them. Trying to exclude people who have caused harm to others from communities and events broadly on the basis of other people feeling uncomfortable without any recourse or pathway to become included is punitive, disproportionate and antithetical to the goal of building strong communities.

Things are improving, because the more people have normal, healthy, and loving interactions with me, the less they are afraid of me and the less people looking on are afraid of the social consequences of knowing me.

I was abusive to Sophie; I was abusive to quite a few people, but I'm certainly not the pathological abuser and power obsessed rape machine a very committed group of sycophantic assholes make me out to be whenever they catch wind of me finding genuine community and healing. I was groomed, abused, neglected, raped, drugged, and bullied all through my childhood and adolescence, (for those of you with a creative imagination, imagine an ex army sniper lifting me as a 12 year old up against my bedroom wall and choking me until he was "satisfied" and waking up ina heap on the floor after, for years.) I have, for all fucking intents and purposes, done, and continue to do the work around how I acted as a mid twenties trauma car crash person who *literally just needed supportive guidance and some inclusive care to get better wrt to their own behaviour just like anyone does*. Making it harder for the people who love me to relate to me is abusive. Following me physically and digitally and calling it safeguarding is abusive. Harassing my friends is abusive. Harassing me is abusive. Raping me and then calling me a disbelievable hypocrite is DEFO fucking abusive. Using the wellbeing services at my first public outing to a music festival in sober to remove me and detain me in a shipping container doesn't need fucking explaining to you does it? A few years ago I was being so badly socially tortured that I wrote a completely insane and hyperbolic confession letter where I admit to as much as possible, and it was written under duress because I was told it would make things better and make the endless reactive and collective abuse stop.

Whether I would like to be around anyone who has harmed me is for me and that person to figure out. Whether anyone wants to be kept away from someone who has harmed them is up to them. Trying to exclude people who have caused harm to others from communities and events broadly on the basis of other people feeling uncomfortable without any recourse or pathway to become included is punitive, disproportionate and antithetical to the goal of building strong communities.