it's interesting to me to see like. within queer communities the thing where if you said "things are really fucking stressful and awful for us right now and it's giving us a lot of really terrible feelings that don't have an outlet" ppl are like "yes, true" and then if you're like "it's far easier and safer to vent that frustration and fear on accessible members of your own community than it is to try to vent it on the people who are actually in power" they would be like "yes, true" and if you said "it feels better to justify venting that frustration and fear and anger if you can frame it in head as very important and righteous, rather than admitting that it's a coping mechanism being utilized by a fallible human being undergoing very difficult circumstances" they'd say "yes that's also true"
but if you're like "this is relevant to your own current behavior" with the implication that the intracommunity thing they're currently big mad about is actually not as important and righteous as they're casting it in their head, it's like "no no. not MY behavior. mine is rational and I am correct. the issue I am fighting with other queer people about like rats in a sack IS actually the most important issue to be addressing right now"
and like
this is stuff I have to constantly watch out for in my own behavior! it is absolutely absolutely a thing, and absolutely something we ALL deal with and are capable of engaging in. it's ramped up in intensity the last year or two and I don't think that is a coincidence. I wish we were more capable of this level of analysis of this stuff without getting defensive.
and like, again, it isn't like it's evil. I don't think it's GOOD to do, but as I said, it's the completely understandable behavior of a human being under considerable stress. we need to cut ourselves a break in order to be able to be honest about what we are doing sometimes.
