Bugborne

Apples are so fucked up you can get two from the same pile ans one tastes more like an apple than anything youve ever eaten and the other tastes like water poisoned by pharaohs

bald guy wearing a bald cap. Do we know why?

Covering blowhole

a couple weeks ago this guy posted in the chicago pagan facebook group saying that he’s a djinn and that there’s a portal between here and egypt and only he and one other person had the power to close it and there was going to be a massive sandstorm… like dude, close the fucking portal, why are you even telling us this

"Let the Gweilo play. He has nothing left to lose."

a customer returned a drink because a fly flew into it and said: “one of your flies flew into my drink” and my coworker was so confused that they just said: “…my fly?”

#MyFly

"google ai" "spotify ai dj" "ai assistant" "enhanced by ai" what if i just start beating people over the head with a rock

Just drank a hot cup of Hava 🍵

What is hava

Hava niceday

"when i was your age, netflix came to our house in the mail" never gets old. they don't believe you, because they can't, because they cannot conceive the apparatus by which this would be true. but it is true. they mailed me season 1 of the sopranos with stamps. with fucking stamps man

I think it sucks that you have to go to so many different kinds of doctor to take care of yourself. It's the 21st century. I should be able to go to a single office where they scan me with a big xerox machine and tell me what I'm allergic to and why my tummy hurts and if I have any cancer or cavities or if my glasses prescription has changed. And then I should get a sticker.