Side Blog

(With no Gideon cause idk man I don’t have any friends that are dickheads)

Emily: Dude you are like monotone all the time. The true question is, are you a pyschopath.

Hotch: Potentially, most likely no

Emily: I really hope that was a joke

Hotch: I mean it could be

Emily: Don’t do this

————

Derek: Look man I can give you relationship advice, I am the king of relationship advice.

JJ: I’m in a relationship and you’re not

Derek: THAT IS BESIDES MY POINT

————

*over text*

Garcia: I am literally crying right now, stupid jar

Reid: Noo what did it do?

Garcia: It bit me

Reid: A JAR BIT YOU? How-

————

Rossi: What is this?!

Reid: Pasta-

Rossi: THAT IS NOT FUCKING PASTA YOU PUT KETCHUP ON IT

————

*over text*

Garcia: How was everyone’s sleep? :D

JJ: Alright

Emily: I mean, it was sleep?

Reid: It took 3 hours to get to sleep and I only got 3 hours of sleep with a odd dream

Garcia: oh-

Hotch: how was yours?

Garcia: Good, you

Hotch: oh didn’t sleep

———

*over text*

Reid: Did you know that the french word for enormous is énorme?

Derek: Mon pénis est énorme :)

————

Rossi: You blacked out 3 times during the meeting today?

Hotch: that’s factual

Rossi: Get some sleep?

Hotch: I did, I blacked out 3 times during a meeting today

————

Reid: I’m fine :)

JJ: I just saw you have 10 cups of coffee in like 10 mins

Reid: yes, coffee is good for you

————

Garcia: Why don’t you have some tea?

Reid: Tea has way more caffeine in it than coffee meaning it’s probably less healthy

Garcia: Yes but that means it gets you more energised which means more time for late night reading

Hotch: Oh, I’m in absolute pain and the only way that slightly stops it is well being on the floor.

Rossi: Go to hospital

Morgan: wow a dark and small room. I wonder what this reminds me of ;)

Reid: *in the middle of a panic attack* heeeeeelp- hooootch

Rossi: what, are you gonna confess your love to me or something?

Hotch: yes.

Rossi: ...

Reid: Everybody shut the fuck up I am not a femboy

Hotch: yes come on everyone he just does very feminine things, while being very gay and being the definition on a femboy. But I assure you he is not

Reid: YOU TOO? *insert gay shocked hands*

Emily: Ha fucking gay ass hands

————

Hotch: Is that pasta for lunch- again? I’m starting to think this is the only thing in your diet

Rossi: I see you haven’t eaten anything

Hotch: Still technically more healthily than only carbohydrates

————

Emily: I think it’s the gay in me, but Black Widow could stab me 10 times and I’d say thank you

Reid: How many people have actually survived 10 stabbings? You would have to be pretty strong for that

Hotch: I mean, George Harrison survived 11

Emily: Who the fuck is George Harrison?

Hotch: Don’t talk to me anymore

————

JJ: I don’t like PDA, it’s annoying.

Reid: But you and Emily are holding hands

JJ: Platonically

Emily: *shaking head* no

JJ: Fine, romantically. But it’s annoying when straight people do it

————

Emily: Your music fucking sucks, Morgan. I’m going to be sticking to my sweet lesbian music thank you

Morgan: Just listen to one song

Emily: No

Hotch: Guys stop fighting we have work to do-

Emily: Shut the fuck up, Hotch! Your favourite band is the Beatles

————

*the song Revolution 9 can be heard*

Emily: Who the fuck is playing music that sounds like some bitch is being possessed?

Garcia: Bit rude to the artist, but strangely accurate

Emily: is it you?

Garcia: No

Hotch: It’s me and it’s not possession it’s The Beatles

Emily: Jesus fuck were they on drugs or something?

Hotch: Yeah actually