lilt

Grief never really leaves you fully. You just learn to ride the waves. I miss you a lot Ryan. Losing you really changed me. There’s always wonder in my head and I shouldn’t wonder and sit there. I know you’re up there and you see me typing this maybe? I miss all the memories we had together and our friendship. I would say those were the simpler times, but they weren’t. Even though they weren’t, you were still there for me. The simple times were the afternoons we spent hanging around in the dorms and getting sushi after we got tired of the dorm food. You were such a joy, free spirited, and fun aura for us and truly it was an honor for me to have met you. It’s almost going to be ten years. I really truly hurt a lot because of this. I miss you a lot and I wished we could’ve spent more time together..

"Anxious people can have a hard time staying motivated, period, because their intense focus on their worries distracts them from their goals." - Winifred Gallagher

The lack of respect was the closure. The lack of apology was the closure. The lack of care was the closure. The lack of accountability was the closure. The lack of honesty was the closure.