at sea

I'm learning how to do makeup this year because I'm planning to do my own elopement makeup lol

My first dog I adopted was Hunter. I adopted him when I was 19 and depressed. So severely depressed actually. He filled a void in my empty broken wretched heart. Each time I wanted to die, I would take him to my old high school and we would sit on the grass together and watch the sunset. Each time I cried because the pain was unbearable, I always had hunter beside me as we laid in bed together. He was a beautiful boy. When he passed away, I knelt on my living room floor cradling his box that my parents put him in and cried my eyes out. I don't think my family has ever heard me cry like that before. I couldn't bear the silence the first week after he passed. I couldn't hear his pitter patter when I walked through the doors. I came home to nothing. I went to sleep alone. I was having panic attacks daily. I would lay in fiances bed and cry to myself for hours. I wanted to rip my heart out. Thinking back on it, I'm a little embarrassed I cried like that in my fiances room because I'm pretty sure his siblings heard because that Christmas, his brother gifted me a weiner dog giblet for my crocs lmao.