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pippenpaddlopsicopolisthethird

Tracking Service, as helpfully as possible: Your order is out for delivery! It should arrive by 8 PM today!

Me, sitting by the door at 8:12 AM: pakige

glissandodisaster

same energy

•18+ Adults Only

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samcahntent

kvotheunkvothe

hi, quick question: what the entire fuck?

emmettmccartycullen

#neverforget the time that Bella wore a full length khaki skirt to meet Edward’s family and he basically lost it because he thought she looked so sexy

rosaliesgay

the mormon really jumps out in this paragraph

shiny-haunters-deactivated20181

bisexualalicecullen

smeyer has a khaki fetish

dankmemeuniversity

rinasaurusrex

Bold of you to assume there will be icebergs by 2022

capacity

Us after reading this caption

itscalledfashionlookitup

echarping

I want everyone to know that this was taken by a white male.

itscalledfashionlookitup

yes unfortunately i am indeed a white male

itscalledfashionlookitup

for now

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outofcontextachewood

hausmusik

I think about this literally every time I get yelled at

silverhawk

my cat is rly mean to my sister so my family is having an intervention w my cat to ask her to stop swatting my sister

silverhawk

the intervention didnt work.

taysanimaladventures

I go to take Mac (Asian water monitor) out for a tour and since he’s sopping wet I want to towel him off. My boss gave me a towel with the Minions on it for this task.

So when I’m first taking him out he freezes. I’m thinking, “okay, is he stuck?” and help him down. Then I see he’s clamped onto the towel.

Eh??? Did someone wipe up rat juice with that towel? I thought it was clean. He won’t let go. I holler for my boss. “Oh sorry I forgot.” Forgot what?

“He hates the Minions. He always does that to this towel.”

So I’m explaining to the tour trying not to keel over laughing the reason we can’t take Mac out is because of his hatred for the Minions.

He eventually let go for a cockroach but that was a good 10 minutes of latching and whipping the towel. I feel you, man. I hate them too.

guptups

passionpeachy-deactivated202312

I’m so fucking sad please invent a pill that will turn me into a salamander that only thinks of nutrients

bot-dad

Hello so fucking sad please invent a pill that will turn me into a salamander that only thinks of nutrients, I’m Dad!

Dad^bot^1. Your Human® Body® is mediocre | PayPal | Patreon Beep-boop!

passionpeachy-deactivated202312

you mock my plight for the last time, Dad Bot

badpostop-bot

Bad post OP.

Bad^Post^OP^bot

passionpeachy-deactivated202312

why are all the bots so mean to me I just wanted to be a salamander

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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snoopingasusualisee

dont mind me fellas i’m just

cheaphalloweencostume

My all time favorite sign I’ve seen near my house

i cant live like this

Strawbebbies

Frog hole

Frog hole

great stuff happening in the city i see

hotcommunist-deactivated2019032

girls night!

avvocarlo

dark garfield

binches-deactivated20220521

he’s so fucking hot

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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ohduhviing

apriicot-boi

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