not beating the catboy allegations

there is a really stupid and embarrassing darkness inside of me

big fan of the four-year-old on this flight who yelled "THEY ARE BRINGING COMPLEMENTARY BEVERAGES" when the flight attendants came down with the drinks cart

wait do people actually care about the sexual history of a prospective partner like do they actually for real take number of precious sexual partners into account omg

you're cute as a button dude. a button

youre never alone. bacteria

I'm playing correspondence chess with my brother and don't feel like making a move tonight but wanted to make sure I did it tomorrow, so I wrote "move against brother" in my TODO list before realizing that sounds kind of insane.

#AncientPrinceProblems

i think we should start openly mocking male creatives who can't figure out how to write women. like actually i think it's embarrassing that it took elliot page transitioning for christopher nolan to give him a good role. why did it take like ten years to get the first female lead in a marvel movie? why is it a Known Fact that stephen king can't write women? why is 50% of the population omitted from large ensemble works? i asked my friend to name a movie directed by a man with a majority female cast and he said ghostbusters 2016. ghostbusters. ghostbusters. g

sob emoji is up there with the period and the comma

it is actually so important to me to be alone at my house

it is actually so important to me to be alone at my house

it is actually so important to me to be alone at my house

So I read (well, read and listened to, it was a hodgepodge) The Honjin Murders by Seishi Yokomizo, and y'all. Detective Kosuke Kindaichi is a tumblr blorbo just waiting to happen. He doesn't appear until halfway through his own book. And the literal moment he does he completely changes the tone. We start in the 1940s version of a gritty true crime podcast, and then in walks our man and we are suddenly in an episode of Columbo if Columbo was also a twink. He's just a silly little guy. He's a shabby slob. He is god's favorite little boy. I can only aspire to find someone who loves me as much as the author obviously loves him. He got bored at school and sailed to another country where he got hooked on drugs. Then he solved a famous murder and got offered a full ride scholarship to university (which he accepted because he was getting bored of drugs) by some random businessman who liked the cut of his jib and decided to make him an honorary nephew. ALL OF THIS IS JUST DROPPED IN BACKSTORY LIKE "OH BY THE WAY" IT'S NOT EVEN PART OF THIS INVESTIGATION. Despite that saga of a backstory he is only twenty-five. He is so excited to solve this (truly bizarre, literally how, I refuse to believe anyone besides the author actually solved how the murder was done in its entirety) case that he is stuttering. He is the babygirl of the entire police squad who start stuttering back at him, lovestruck, and his response is to go "are you making fun of me? 🥺😘" Anyway. I'm on hold at my library for the next book (third book? numbering gets wonky with translations done out of order), during which I have been told he has even more intense sugar baby vibes with an old buddy who is now a yakuza boss, and honestly I believe it.

*looks at polyamorous triad* so which of you is the soldier and which is the poet and which is the king