Insert Finger Guns Here

2025 bullies be like "gimme your Lunchcoin or I'll unsub from your dad's onlyfans"

"I CANT HANDLE THIS" *handles this*

"I CANT TAKE ANOTHER DAY" *takes another day*

I'm gay and I'm good at almost nothing

woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.

Ebeneezer in 1742 wakes with a start as for some reason he has put out his guttering candle by slapping atop it ith the palm of his hand. His hand is burned and his nightgown and cap are spattered with hot wax.

Fascinated by the perceived necessity of an Equivalent Exchange

“This is what they took from you” and it’s a blonde family cooking barbecue in the suburbs? Brother you are racist and fascist over hot dogs? You know you can still do that. Also if you befriend other ethnicities, they will bring cool other food to the potluck. Stupid ass

if you wiped every ICE agent off the face of the earth, a hundred million people would become safer overnight. if you wiped every furry off the face of the earth, the entire internet would collapse for good in a matter of hours. i know where my allegiances lie.

parents will make u feel guilty about absurd shit like breathing too much air or smth. and it will work too like you'll be laying on the ground years later paralyzed by the guilt that you're breathing too much until someone grabs u by the shoulders and tells u that is fucking stupid. and then you'll need to remind yourself of that every day for the rest of your life to function

Thinking about full body scrunge

i hate it when someone asks me what my favorite work of art is because i can't say "the one of the woman chilling on the rocks with a dragon lying in her lap and giving off powerful big dick energy" but how else am i supposed to describe it

This is Dragon Resting It's Head On The Lap of a Woman by Robert Leinweber

truly do not understand workplace drama. we're stuck here doing stupid bullshit for 8 hours and you want to make it worse? But on the other hand I love hearing about arguments that are not and never will be my problem