sapphic chicken noodle soup for the soul

no yeah thanks for welcoming me to womanhood again but like yeah this man is in fact currently following me home can we maybe address that aspect

no yeah like I totally see how that was traumatizing and why you would feel threatened by the sight of someone like me in the same bathroom as you. um but can I please get to the sink so I can wash my hands

no right it does sound especially bad for you in ways I could never understand. I will say though I'm not sure if I agree that revealing to the man sexually harassing me that I'm trans would have made me safer actually

no you don't have to call the cops you're right I'll just use the men's. no yeah I should have just listened to you when you said men will just harass women if they share a bathroom. no yeah I'll hold up a sign saying I'm trans so they know not to hurt me

no yeah it sounds devastating not to be able to get pregnant. no you're right I'll never be able to understand what you're going through

no you're right, I should just dress masculine so men don't harass me, it's my fault for dressing this way

no sorry yeah spaghetti straps probably are too much. no sorry I didn't think about the possibility there could be children

no you're right sorry I should have told you I was trans right away. no yeah it does sound really scary and upsetting to find out about my genitalia you're right

no yeah I'm sorry for trying to trick you. um but I really did just wear this makeup look because I thought it would look cute, that's all

no like this isn't a performance sorry I just threw this dress on to run to the pharmacy. uh but thanks for saying I'm slaying boots the house down becky. drag race? no I haven't seen it

no right sorry I didn't realize there was a gender neutral bathroom available. you're right sorry I should be hiding my presence

no sorry yeah I'm being irrational, he probably was just trying to be nice. I'll stay quiet next time

no sorry like I was actually thinking I'd just keep my shorts on in bed till surgery. no yeah I'm aware there's risks. no sorry I already know I don't want to, I don't need to try it "just once." um are you interested in other parts of my body or...?

no yeah thanks for letting me know I'm trying too hard with this skirt. I just thought it was cute is all sorry

imagine reverse bimbofication art in the style of the bimbofication brainwashing posts. YOU ARE SO FUCKING SMART, USE YOUR GENIUS MIND, YOU ARE EVERYTHING. YOU CAN MASTER ANY FUCKING SUBJECT IN THE WORLD *flashing hypno spirals interupted by photos of prominent women scientists and graphs from quantum mechanics papers*

that tweet thats like im not allowed to believe in the power of manifestation because i have OCD but best of luck to you all

"why do you like this trait in female characters but not in male characters" because gender changes the dynamic

do you think bowser ever gets anxious after kidnapping peach again that he went too far this time and he calls mario up in the middle of the night to make sure they’re still on for tennis and gokarting next weekend

painstakingly dialing mario’s landline on a comically small telephone only for luigi to pick up instead and he has to ask him to put his brother on the phone. not that luigi isn’t part of weekend plans, but like this is really more of a mario & bowser situation and it’d be rude to drag his brother into it if there’s a problem. so anyway then luigi puts the receiver down to go get his brother and bowser sits there tapping his claws on his table and this is agony, actually, he shouldn’t have called at all, it’s late enough at his castle so it has to be even later over in the mushroom kingdom. but just as he’s about to put the phone down, mario answers all chipper—mario mario speaking, who’s-a calling? which is a ridiculous question because there’s no way luigi didn’t already tell him.—and bowser has to ask him. look, mario, i know i dangled peach in a bird cage over a pit of lava the other day, and when you showed up, i let my son throw giant flaming hammers at you, and there’s no hard feelings about that, right? and there’s a few seconds of silence before mario laughs and reassures him it’s all in the day’s work of a plumber, an explanation bowser has never thought to really question since he only knows two plumbers and it does all seem pretty in their wheelhouse. and then he’s embarrassed for worrying so much so he tries to end the call quickly, but mario just ribs him about how badly he’s going to lose the next race, and then he starts asking bowser how junior is, and does bowser want any of the leftovers since he and luigi really do cook way too much for two, be a shame to let it go to waste. and by the time bowser manages to hang up, this has gone from leftovers into him and junior and the koopalings all being invited over to the mario household for dinner, so long as they don’t park their airship on the front lawn and leave the cannons at home.

worst part of anxiety/ocd is that sometimes your fears actually do happen and you have to wag your finger at i like this still doesn't prove you're right asshole. it's like having a venom symbiote except you don't even get to have gay alien sex

thank you tumblr user loyal squire

if you mean it, let me sell all your organs on the black market, and i'll do the dishes daily.

crazy how every time a female character gets cliche misogynistic writing we have to explain to people again that fictional characters are not real and do not choose things for themselves.

not to get all "shaving is a tool of the patriarchy and expecting trans men (anyone, but especially trans men) to shave is transandrophobic and patriarchal" on main but if you tell a trans man to shave any part of his body you deserve to be shot

if you tell anyone to shave any part of their body you should be shot

Trans men will thrive in this world with or without your acceptance.

faeries are not real but i wish thwy were so i could spray one with raid

harry houdini to his wife after a long exhausting dinner with arthur conan doyle

no, sorry, I don't really have empathy, or a soul... no, I'm not really compelled by existential questions and I don't really care about what happens to me when I die. sorry. am I still allowed in the humans club?... well, it's just that you kinda defined me out of being human by talking about how important and universally human those things are... like, it kinda feels like you consider anyone who lacks those qualities to be so unrelatable as to not be human at all... yeah I'm probably exaggerating, sorry... I'm sorry... I'll leave