It was Ilya’s first playoffs as Captain of the Ottawa Centaurs. The excitement in the air was palpable: it was the first ever playoffs of the Centaurs and with reigning Stanley Cup champions, the New York Admirals, at that. It was like David vs Goliath.
For Ilya, the excitement was a hundred times more because seated in the lower-bowl sections reserved for families of players were the three Hollanders, Yuna, David and Shane, on the side of the Centaurs all cheering for him. Its was the most family members he had ever in his entire hockey career.
During their warm-ups, the Jumbotron swiped over the crowd which Ilya was so used too. Suddenly, there was a different kind of cheer, one that Ilya knows is reserved for famous people on the crowd. Ilya didn’t bother to look up but Troy Barrett, nudged him to look up, he did and the sight took his breath away.
The Jumbotron was showing the Hollanders with Shane at the middle and was wearing HIS jersey. He had no idea Shane would do that, they were just traumatically outed by that stupid Fanmail video and Ilya knew his boyfriend was still not used to them being known to be together. Shane looked so relaxed and happy between his parents that it made Ilya tear up. Of course, the Jumbotron was quick to catch his reaction and a collective “awww” was heard across the arena as his teary, love sick eyes was captured. Then the view was split him and Shane who was also tearing up. Shane got up much to the delight of the crowd and turned to show the name Rozanov across his back. Ilya totally broke down at this.
Just then the Jumbotron was swiped across the other side of the arena and there was Kip, standing up wearing his Scott’s jersey. He also showed Hunter’s name spread across his back. The crowds went crazy. It was the first time in the history of MLH that the two rival Captains had their boyfriends at the crowds. Scott skated towards Ilya and they both looked at their boyfriends lovingly.
The screen was split between Shane and Kip and the latter mimicked a phone with his fingers and mouthed “call me” to Shane and winked at him flirtatiously. Shane doubled in laughter while their boyfriends’ jaws dropped on the ice. They were both photographed as such and that became the first official photos of the two captains of the playoffs.
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I think Shane was a character who, soon as I read him, made all the sense to me. I felt immediately a kinship and an ownership over Shane. I was like, “I need to be the only person to tell this story. I get it. I want to be the person to be Shane and I want to spend time with him.” [x]
(sources below)
PANEL 1
Out
PANEL 2 (fear/desire)
The Permanent Rain Press
PANEL 3 (vegas bathroom)
Numero Netherlands
PANEL 4 (tears)
Harper's Bazaar
PANEL 5 (ilya inverse)
Teen Vogue
Image: [x]
PANEL 6 (additions) (4 gifs)
Numero Netherlands
Entertainment Weekly
Summary: The first summer of the cottage, Shane takes Ilya to a local dive bar for date night. It becomes a thing.
---
“Is this man bothering you?”
Shane looked up from his menu to see the bar owner – Céleste – glaring at the person sitting across the booth from him. She spoke in French, and Shane replied in kind.
“Every day of my life since 2008.”
“Would you like me to get rid of him?”
“You are talking about me, yes?” Ilya asked without looking up from his menu.
“I think I’ll keep him around.” Shane smiled. “He’s too pretty to kick out.”
“Hm. This is true.”
Céleste took their orders then, switching to English to confirm Ilya’s, before storming away.
Ilya glanced about the dive joint, clearly unnerved. There were so much old shiplap and flannel, and tiny lights strung across the long bar. The three TVs boasted hockey games, even now – during the summer – but the crown jewel of the whole establishment was the signed and framed Shane Hollander Metros’ jersey behind the bar.
They sat tucked in the very back corner booth. Céleste had ushered them there the moment they entered the joint, and it was a private space where few patrons could see them.
“It will be much easier to murder me and hide my body here,” Ilya offered, arms crossed on the table.
A shrug. “Why do you think I invited you?”
“Not for the wild, hot sex?”
Shane thought for a moment. “Okay, maybe I brought you here for two reasons.”
While Shane loved his cottage and loved getting away from the pandemonium that was the Montreal hockey scene – it was isolating. He and Ilya swam. They played hockey or soccer. They binged Love It or List It and the entire Fast & Furious franchise, and yes, they had incredible, mind-blowing sex – but Shane wanted to actually do something with Ilya.
Nothing crazy. Maybe food shopping. Or see a movie. Or visit the local lake house and rent kayaks.
He eventually resolved to bring Ilya to Bar Down.
It was a dive bar. There was no other word for it. Tucked away on the northern shore of the lake, it was one of the only eateries in the area and hosted mainly the locals who knew it existed. Shane had patronized the joint every time he came to Lanaudière, and he absolutely loved the owner.
They were taking a risk. Just one fan with a camera could jeopardize their careers, but Shane felt safe in Bar Down.
He ventured across the table to hook his pinkie with Ilya’s. Céleste brought them over a candle in a glass with rice along with their dishes. They shared questionable poutine – the cheese curds melted too quickly and the French fries were a bit soggy – and then they dug into vanilla cake with a maple sauce layer.
Ilya laughed as he took a swig of his beer, which sported a polar bear on the can. “This is so Canadian.”
Shane threw back his own beer. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“Is not,” Ilya assured as he dug back into the vanilla cake. “Maybe boring. This is cake with favorite Canadian flavor – ”
“I mean, it’s not our favorite – ”
“– but is good.”
“I’m sure Russians enjoy tinned bear meat and a vodka-soaked cake?”
“Yes. It’s what we serve every Thanksgiving.”
Shane snorted, but Ilya’s eyes practically danced in the low light of the bar. God, he was so handsome, and Shane was so in love.
Céleste returned with the check and placed it pointedly in front of Ilya. “You want to take care of our Shane?” she said in forced English.
Ilya glanced at Shane before meeting Céleste’s hard, demanding eyes. “As much as he takes care of me.”
“Then why do you give him such shit on the ice?”
“Because he is the best,” Ilya replied, easy. And perhaps it was. “He needs someone to make him earn it. He will enjoy it more.”
Céleste narrowed her eyes at Ilya. Then, she reached out, took the check, and slid it across from Shane. “You pay for him. He’s a keeper.”
Shane couldn’t stop the smile from crossing his features. “I know. I’m lucky.”
Ilya ducked his head, clearly uncomfortable, and Shane felt a tap against his sneaker.
Dinner at Bar Down became a weekly ritual when they were at the cottage, and the regulars nodded and shook their hands when they arrived. But no one bothered them once they slid into their booth.
Once, a person tried to sneak a picture, but Luc – the forty-year-veteran postal worker – simply put a hand over the camera.
“We don’t do that here,” he muttered.
The younger man gulped and put away his phone.
Shane’s jersey remained lonely all through that first summer.
“I cannot have Boston on these walls,” Céleste said firmly. There was no room for discussion.
But that second summer, she dropped an 81 Centaurs’ jersey in front of Ilya the first dinner they returned to the bar.
“Let’s fucking go, Rozy. We gotta get you up there.”
And it was there, in Lanaudière, in a dive bar on the north shore of the lake, that Shane and Ilya’s numbers hung side by side for the first time.
It was not the last time.
Fin
A/N: “Bar down” refers to a high-speed shot that hits the bottom of the crossbar and ricochets directly down into the net for a goal. I have to be honest – I watched hockey for twenty years, and I don’t remember hearing this phrase. IDK. But I read it and liked it.
laughing about the idea of ilya over time being able to predict when shane is going to be brainstorming late into the night and then waking him up about something. shane has A Specific Look when this is going to happen, and ilya knows that even fucking him stupid isn't going to save him from being shaken awake at 3 am to have rapid-fire english happen at him.
someone at dinner is talking about the complexities of funeral arrangements and how hard it is to organize everything when already grieving and ilya sees The Look happening on shane's face at his side and is then just
knowing he's going to get woken up at fuck o'clock tonight to talk about the fully-detailed options of cremation versus burial shane is going to run past him.
the only preparation he can do is to wear his wedding ring to bed so when he wakes up he remembers that he loves this man even when he's yanking him out of a rem cycle to take him through a verbal powerpoint.
Ilya notices it right away. Jackie is dropping Ruby off to spend an afternoon with her uncles like she's done countless times before. But something seems off with Ruby. She's not her usual chaotic self.
"How are you, sweetheart? Everything ok?" Ilya asks.
She just nods and makes her way to the living room. Jackie gives him a look and as they hug goodbye, she whispers, "She's going through her first little heartbreak."
"Ah." Ilya nods. He knows this is a very delicate matter.
He planned a full mani-pedi day for them. So, they're sitting on the living room floor with an assortment of nail polishes and accessories on the coffee table while Shane is reading on the couch. It's hard to miss how Ruby is sighing the whole time and Ilya knows it's not about the bright teal color he's currently putting on her nails.
"You know you can talk to me about anything, sweetheart. I'm here if you need."
She lets out her biggest sigh yet. "I'm sad.. about a boy." He's holding her hand while he expertly puts on another coat of polish on her nails.
"Mm. Do you want to talk about it? I promise it will help."
She nods determinedly. "There's this boy in class and.. he's really cute."
"Oh, I bet." Ilya smiles as he's switching to her other hand.
"I asked him to sit beside me at lunch one day." She continues, "And I gave him half my sandwich."
Ilya raises his eyebrows, intrigued. He makes a sound urging her to continue.
"Then I told him I liked him and he.. he just ran away," she says quietly.
Shane chokes on his tea in the distance. Ilya has to stiffen his face as he squeezes her hand in his.
"What is his name and where does he live?" Ilya deadpans, half serious. "I will find him and kick his ass, yes?" Then he playfully mock wrestles a nearby floor pillow.
This pulls a shocked but delighted laugh from Ruby. "Uncle Ilya! You can't!" They giggle at the silly thought.
Ilya goes back to holding her hand. "Sweetheart, thank you for telling me this. You are being very brave," Ilya says sincerely. "Now I will tell you a secret. I have a very similar story."
She's listening intently as he continues. "Some time ago, I invite a boy I like very much to my house and make him tuna melt. Then.. I tell him I like him and he runs away."
Ruby audibly gasps. "No!" Her face is astonished. "What did you do?"
"Well, I was very sad.. like you. But then I remember what my mama told me." Ilya's voice is getting tender all of a sudden. "She said, if you love someone, let them go. If they do not come back, it was not meant to be."
He pauses to give her a loving look before continuing, "But if they do come back.. then you know they are yours."
Ruby processes what Ilya said for a long moment. Then she asks, "So, did he come back?!"
"Yeah," Shane replies as he gets up from the couch. "Yeah, he did." And he walks over to give Ilya a chaste yet soft, sweet kiss.
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After playing in LA, Rose takes the Cens out to party. The rookies are besides themselves, Wyatt geeks out so hard that he gets to meet more actors who play superheroes, Luca gets hit on by three different models and takes at least one of them up on it, and Ilya let's out his inner club rat and is just enjoying being in a good club. Shane goes along to spend time with Rose and make sure no one pukes in front of a camera again (looking at you, Holmberg!). Ilya, Shane and Rose end up leaving together. They’re all a little tipsy—the club had good Russian vodka, so Ilya had a lot and Rose joined him to “bond” and Shane indulged in a few beers which he still doesn’t do a lot during the season even though he’s more relaxed about his diet now, so they’re all not entirely sober. Outside of the club, they’re a little loud which draws enough attention that people recognize them—well, let’s be real, they mostly recognize Rose although someone says “isn’t that the gay baseball player from that Calvin Klein ad?” when they see Shane—and several people start filming. Which is of course when Rose’s heel breaks and she lands ass over teakettle on the sidewalk.
Shane and Ilya are immediately concerned and Rose tries to wave them off, “my heel just broke, guys,” and Shane says, “you broke your foot?” and Rose laughs and says “no, my heel” and waves her broken shoe around, the red sole glinting in the light. “Why are you wearing fucking low quality shoes?” Shane asks, honestly confused, and Rose gasps, “Shane, they’re Louboutins!” And Shane very seriously says, “well, then Louboutins are fucking bad quality,” which has Ilya cackling because he definitely knows Louboutins, probably even owns a pair, and knows that they’re not low quality at all. But now there’s a video out there of Shane Hollander calling Louboutins low quality and that’s going to be a fun time on the internet. Then Shane helps Rose up and she wrinkles her nose and says, “ugh I hate walking barefoot in downtown LA,” and Ilya says, “don’t be ridiculous, we carry you,” and Rose is all, “oh piggy back ride,” and Shane says, scandalized, “you’re wearing like a miniskirt, everyone will see your ass if you do that,” and scoops her up bridal style. And then he carries her down two blocks to the sushi restaurant they chose for a late night snack and the video of that goes even more viral than Shane’s Louboutin critique.
I don't know if I'm coming back back to tumblr, but I am writing fic again and plan to post links for it here when it's up on ao3.
Briefest life update: My saturn return kicked me fully in the ass. In these last few years I fell in love, I got a job, I left that job, solved some health issues, got more health issues, still in love! Had the worst writer's block of my life and fandom had not brought me the joy it once did, but it's starting to turn around now (I hope).
Recently got very into The Summer Hikaru Died, so that's what you'll be seeing from me soon as far as fic goes.
I'm not sure if anyone who followed me from back in the day are still on here, but just in case, hi, sorry it's been a minute 😅 and see ya around!
Shane Summer Fest 2026 – Ficlet – All Fun and Gains
Week 3: Fun in the Sun
T | 750 Words | Fluff and Flirting
Summary: Ilya and Shane share another commercial shoot, and Ilya's life changes on a California beach similar to the way it changed in a Toronto ice rink.
---
Ilya knew long before the emergency landing that he wanted to marry Shane Hollander.
Perhaps it was poetic that it happened during a commercial shoot. Yuna had put in a good word for him with Speedo, and the company decided to include both him and Shane in a campaign the summer after the Voyageurs’ third Stanley Cup win.
The shoot was at Huntington Beach, and it was an affair. There were players from all sports – baseball, football, the other type of football, softball, even racing. Some were in briefs, others in rashguards, even more in tiny shorts.
He and Shane lucked out and were chosen to model swim trunks, but since they were in the sand for recording – They, Kept. Hosing. Shane. Off.
They’d take a few videos and photos of Shane – walking or laying or dear God, kneeling in the sand – and then spray a hose across his chest and abs. Droplets would slide through the grooves of his sculpted abs, traverse the lines of his defined back, and course the toned muscles of his legs.
How was Ilya supposed to stay sane?
During a break, Shane got up from his sensual position on the beach. Sand clung to his knees, backside, and abs as he approached Ilya. Some even stuck to his swim shorts, clumping right over his crotch.
“My eyes are up here, Rozanov,” Shane teased, and there was really only one response to that.
“You’re all dirty, Hollander.” Ilya lunged before Shane could react. He gripped Shane by the mid-section and lifted him in a fireman carry. “You need to be hosed off again!”
“Put me down!” Shane squirmed. “Rozanov!” When that didn’t work, he tried, “Ilya!”
But Ilya ran down the beach and waded into the cool water. Once he was waist-deep, he promptly dumped Shane into the soft blue ocean.
The film crew was furious. They weren’t done with Shane’s shots yet, and now they would have to redo his hair and makeup. They’d need to reset and shift locations. Ilya’s actions set them back hours.
Shane stood in the water, sputtering and throwing his sopping wet bangs back. He set his furious glare upon Ilya.
“You fucking asshole!”
It was then – captured by those fiery dark eyes, admiring Shane’s darkened freckles on his blushing cheeks, and loving Shane’s glare that looked about as frightening as an angry kitten’s – that Ilya realized he never wanted Shane to look at someone else like that. He wanted to tease Shane Hollander and annoy him and love him for the rest of their lives.
“Guys!” the director shouted from shore. “We still have a few takes to get with Shane, so can we – ”
But Shane wasn’t listening. A surprised laugh escape him, and that was all the warning Ilya got. Shane grasped Ilya by the shoulders and jumped. With the entire force of his athletic body, he dunked Ilya under the ocean’s surface.
When Ilya came back up, he splashed Shane, who splashed him back. They teased each other and wrestled, and finally, Ilya managed to wrap his arms about Shane’s waist and drag him back under. Away from the cameras and prying eyes, they shared a quick, cool kiss.
The camera crew ended up capturing most of their water “fight” and used it in the international campaign. In addition to their horseplay, the commercial included their emergence from the water. Shane and Ilya walked in slow motion, thanks to editing, with their broad shoulders, strong pectorals, and sculpted abs on display and glistening in the summer sun. They smiled at each other, as if sharing a private joke, and the whole video appeared like the sexy commercial it most assuredly was meant to be but not in the way Speedo had intended.
At the end, Shane pushed Ilya out of the frame in what had been just a flirty moment between them, but it fit perfectly with the “All Fun and Gains” promotion.
It was almost a perfect day and changed Ilya in a way he could never imagine.
He wouldn’t propose today and probably not tomorrow, but Ilya Rozanov resolved to one day make Shane Hollander his husband.
gift - hollanov - @hollanovbingo - word count: 431 - click here to see my microfic archive!
Ilya had never felt so stupid in his entire life.
Standing at Shane’s doorway, bag on his shoulder, anxiety eating away at his lungs, he turned the small, square package over and over in his hand, wondering if it was too late to throw the thing into the nearby trees. However, that felt morally wrong and he worried that Shane would find it later, so he was kind of stuck with this idea now.
Just as the thought of simply running in the opposite direction popped in his brain, Shane opened the door.
“Hey,” he muttered, face completely alight with joy.
“Here,” Ilya grunted, shoving the package in his new boyfriend’s face.
He understood why Shane looked surprised. They’d never given each other gifts before and there wasn’t even any real reason for this one. Ilya had just noticed that in the cottage, Shane was a minimalist to the point of being irritating except for one thing–mugs. He seemed to have quite the collection. Novelty mugs and plain ones; odd-shaped mugs and mugs from locations. It’d endeared Ilya to the point of making him bend Shane over right there in the kitchen, because it was so nice to learn such a fun quirk about the man he was so in love with. Shane Hollander: hockey phenomenon, painfully rigid, collected mugs.
So, when he’d returned to the arena to start the season’s practices and noticed that the fan shop now stocked ‘Ilya Rozanov’ mugs, he’d bought one without thought. But now came the terrifying part–actually giving it to Shane.
So he made sure to make himself very busy taking his shoes off at the door as Shane carefully opened the box, peeling back the protective tissue paper and pulling out the black-and-yellow mug. But the anticipation was killing him so much that the moment he sensed the other man recognize what the object was, he had to say something.
“Is no big deal,” he said, shrugging as his heart raced and he fought not to make eye contact. “I notice you have many. Something you like, you know? And I get discount of course. So I–”
But he was interrupted by Shane’s lips pressed firmly to his, Shane’s arms winding around him and the mug digging into his back as Shane licked into his mouth.
“I love you so fucking much,” Shane murmured when they parted, a grin on his face. “Of course you got me a stupid Rozanov mug, you asshole.”
The next morning, when Ilya awoke after Shane, he found him at the table, drinking coffee from his new mug.
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Hello. I clean houses for a living. Here are some places in Your Dwelling that it's probably been a while since you've thought about cleaning. This is a judgement-free, non-exhaustive list of crap you should maybe get around to soon 👍
Bathroom:
☆ Front and base of the toilet (they get nasty and dusty really quick)
☆ Faucet (take a toothbrush and some all-purpose bathroom cleaner and give it a scrub to remove plaque from toothpaste and hard water buildup, then a wipedown. You will literally be shocked by the difference if you haven't cleaned it in a while)
☆ Consider removing the toilet seat and cleaning underneath it/getting at the hinges with a grout brush (in case you didn't know: it's fastened to the toilet by two large usually plastic screws under the tabs at the back, with nuts on the underside. Just unscrew the nuts and you can pop the whole seat off)
☆ Sink drains: they gather gunk and pink mold around and underneath the rim. You can loosen shit and scrub it away with some all-purpose cleaner and a toothbrush/grout brush (PLEASE DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND BUY SOME SMALL GROUT BRUSHES)
☆ The floor: Mop that damn floor. Get in the corners and wipe down your baseboards too. This is best accomplished on your hands and knees if you have that capability. If not its whatever
Kitchen:
☆ Underneath your range hood! Theres grease filters under there that you can soak in degreaser and then scrub clean in the sink. Grease also likes to just hang out in that area, but if you spray it down with Fantastik or Method heavy duty degreaser it'll wipe right off.
☆ If you have stainless steel appliances, consider buffing them out once a month with stainless steel cleaner and a dry cloth. Wiping off those fingerprint smudges and fridge water drip stains is soooo satisfying
☆ Sink! Wash that sink! If it's stainless steel, use Bar Keeper's Friend powder on a wet surface to buff it out, with a Scrub Daddy or something, and get it looking shiny and new again. This can also be done on ceramic sinks - dirt magnetizes to any minor scratches in white ceramic, and giving it a scrub will erase those dark scratches.l
☆ Cabinets. Wipe that shit down brother. Especially the cabinets closest to your range!! If you have heavy grease buildup on your cabinets, try using something scritchy like a Scrub Daddy with some all-purpose cleaning spray to try and get it off. Failing that, do a spot test with some Fantastik etc degreaser spray to make sure you wont irrevocably fuck up your cabinets (theyre technically not meant to be used on porous surfaces like wood but sometimes a little rebellion is necessary) and if it doesnt melt the paint off then spray a cloth with it and give them a wipedown.
☆ You need to do a fridge cleanout. I know you do. After you clean out your fridge, take advantage of all that newfound space and wipe down the shelves with my best friend Fantastik and the sponge side of a Scrub Mommy. Im not sponsored or anything the shit is just goated
☆ Also on the list of shit you really dont want to do but need to: Clean the oven. Do not use the self-cleaning function, it gets way too hot and has a chance of actually ruining your oven in the long run. Take the racks out and soak them in warm baking soda water in your bathtub for, I dont know, as long as it takes to clean the rest of the oven? Usually 30 min-an hour. Spray the oven down with oven cleaner and LET IT SIT!!!! for as long as the product says it needs to sit. Then take a stainless steel scrubbing pad or some steel wool and go to town on that bitch. Some of the shit will not be coming off unless you are a professional oven cleaner, so just focus on getting out the crust and the really bad burnt bits (the flammable shit)
☆ Range: For an electric range, those drip pans are probably in need of a scrub. You can remove the heating elements and take out the drip pans beneath them to soak in the sink, then get at em with a stainless steel scrubber. For a gas range, I'm so sorry. Just take the grates off, spray some degreaser on the surface, and wipe it down. As far as the grates go, God went ahead and abandoned us on that one, but if you must - degreaser soak and a stainless steel scrubber.
Bedrooms:
☆ When was the last time you dusted your ceiling fan?
☆ When was the last time you got at those baseboards?
☆ Bedsheets and bed linens: I know, me too. If it's been more than two weeks, change your sheets - and if you've got a duvet, it's probably time to wash it and the cover you've had on it for way too long. I am calling myself out here basically by name.
☆ Bedside tables: It's time for a declutter and a dust. Put things in jewelry boxes and medicine cabinets where they belong, wipe shit down, and have a beautiful clean place to put your phone at night
General:
☆ If you want your Zone to immediately look 50% cleaner, vacuum your rugs and carpets and wash your wood(/laminate/LVP/etc) floors
☆ I'm telling you man. Baseboards. Especially if you have pets, those things can get SO nasty. A wet wipe of your baseboards will make a world of difference.
☆ I highly recommend buying something you can dust up high with. Get at those cobwebs and the caked-up dust on your ceiling fan. Also super useful for a quick baseboard dust - you can just run that shit along without having to bend over
☆ These are all things that really only need to be done once every couple months at most. Dont break your back making any of this a part of your regular weekly-to-monthly routine.
heated rivalry fic: so you must like me for me - COMPLETE, 36K
art by @anonymouspinkturtle
Relationships: Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov
Summary: Shane wants to figure out if he's gay before he gets drafted—and no, the way he felt when Ilya Rozanov smirked at him with a cigarette between his lips in Saskatchewan has nothing to do with it. Unfortunately, the random guy he hooks up with to try and make sure one way or another takes a picture, and Shane gets outed before the draft. In the ensuing scandal, he goes seventh overall, to Ottawa.
It turns out having the worst thing you can think of happen to you when you're seventeen years old can end up being pretty liberating. And land you an unexpected best friend.
Chapter 1 of 2 on Ao3 HERE
Chapter 2 of 2 on Ao3 HERE
“You going seven—is bullshit,” Rozanov replies. “Okay if you go second, because I’m better than you, but seven… fucking bullshit.”
Shane has the “fuck you, you’re not better than me” on the tip of his tongue but, the thing is, according to at least six MLH GMs, Rozanov is.
And yet, Rozanov looks like he’s deeply offended, like he means what he’s saying, not chirping or bullshitting at all, and that. That heals something in Shane. They’ve been one and two, back and forth, for at least three years now, and the fact that Rozanov acknowledges it, too…
“Thank you,” Shane says. “It—Montreal told me it was about optics, or whatever. I don’t know.”
Rozanov shakes his head quickly, harrumping. “What, optics are you suck one dick and can’t hold hockey stick anymore? Bullshit. They will all regret, Hollander. Trust me.”
I saw a tweet that asked “has there even been a baby who sat in the Stanley cup, then proceeded to join the nhl/win a Stanley cup?” and my dumb ass confindently went “JACK ZIMMERMANN”
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pining - hollanov - @taylorswiftmicrofic - word count: 310 - click here for my hollanov microfic archive on ao3
"Alright, who fucking did it?" Ilya growled as he walked into the locker room, unable to keep a straight face even as he tried desperately to look upset.
He was met with many guilty-looking faces.
"Roz, man, I think you're gonna have to be more specific," Bood said from the back of the room, grinning.
That, Ilya supposed, was fair. The energy in the Centaurs’ locker room had always been fun and easy; so pranks, jokes, and teasing were definitely the love language of choice for the team. To simply ask 'who did it' was just inviting about ten confessions at once.
"Hollander and I were watching TV show last night, yes?" Ilya explained, gesturing to Shane, who had a shit-eating grin on his face. "And there is this word, 'pining.' I did not understand, and Shane had trouble explaining, so I look up example. And I find," he pulled out his phone with a flourish, "This."
It was a wikipedia article, with the definition of the word and the linguistic history. Then, underneath all of that, was a picture.
A picture of Ilya...looking at Shane.
The entire team burst out laughing.
"Oh my god, I didn't do that, but I fuckin wish I did, man!" Hayes shouted, wiping tears from his eyes.
"Genius!" Barrett called.
"I've been laughing all night about it," Shane added, smirking.
"It must have been one of you fuckers," Ilya grumbled, lips turning up at the edges. "I know it. I have very good sense about these things."
"Probably someone online a lot, right? Maybe Harris?" Dykstra suggested.
"Nah, he would've told me," Barrett shot down.
"Who else is online a lot?"
As if in a coordinated effort, all eyes turned to Luca Haas, who was blushing and grinning sheepishly. "I...uh...thought it was funny?"
AU where Shane and Ilya don't hook up or have a decades-long secret. They don't really know each other at all, except to play each other.
Shane comes out of the closet sometime after Scott does, and in some random, lighthearted interview, they ask him what he's looking for in a man. And Shane's just, off-hand like, "Well, he'd have to have at least one Stanley Cup. Obviously." And when he gets a good reaction from that, he keeps going, like "Needs to be amazing at hockey. Definitely needs to be at least an All-Star, if not a captain. Hot too. If he can't bench-press me, I'm not interested."
And it's all in fun, except two days after the interview prints, Ilya Rozanov shows up at his door like "knock, knock. I am here to apply for boyfriend position. Do you need resume? I brought my Stanley Cup ring, just in case."
