bigfoot is real and he tried to eat my ass

Not now kitten daddy's googling his symptoms

Daddy has five days left to live

feels so embarrassing to b hyperfixated on your own oc like the smallest thing that reminds you of them has you giggling and kicking your legs and smiling goofy in public but it’s like sorry everyone i was thinking about shmoopsie from my brain again. yeah the one like max 10 ppl know about

preschool field trip to the hydraulic press I'm so excited

America be like "you cant have free healthcare or easy access to disability but you can have a gun"

no healing, no living, go KILL

This post was really fucking funny in hindsight

Don't use st Dominics canonization year for passwords.

she might be ur girl now but we used to have 24 hour calls on skype. And yeah. She didn’t mute when she peed.

okay. which of you motherfuckers taught my vile little homunculus how to put on eyeliner

it is fucking serving.

Yea I want to rearrange your guts but first how was your day? Did you eat?

surgeons before they put you under anesthetic

it really is a travesty i don’t have a penis because id be doing shit with it that nobody on this earth has ever seen before

world heritage post

Holy shit what. This is like if someone in ancient sumeria had a camera

still fuckin hate that “bee-free honey” that’s made from……… apples. bitch who you think sexed up those apples

A farmer, by hand and with love and care

wild bees still sexin em up when he’s not looking

old mccuckhold had a farm it seems

i was born inside an airpod case 3 minutes ago your honor and i love abortion

this is the most unhelpful post ever

do i look like a fucking faq to you