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This week on Welcome to Storybrooke, Max and Tina discuss Once Upon a Time, S02E12: In The Name Of The Brother, in which we visit the Hammerverse, Max takes a break to review an episode of Buffy, and drunk people are the best at surgery.

This week on the podcast Max and Tina discuss Once Upon a Time, S02E09: Queen of Hearts, in which Rumplestiltskin practices calligraphy, Cora gets hooked, and Emma discovers the power of love.

This week on the podcast: Max and Tina discuss Once Upon a Tima, S02E08: Into the Deep, in which magic is okay if it benefits you, the girl gang fights zombies, and Sleeping Beauty loses her heart to Captain Hook.

http://www.ilovetelevisionzines.com/welcome-to-storybrook/

It’s because after spending serious £££ on materials, and then HUNDREDS OF HOURS OF LABOR on the creation of the item, with every stitch a prayer of totally focused intent, creating a large display of technical skill - it is then gifted to a non-knitter who does NOT APPRECIATE the work/effort/skill/cost/TIME it took to make it, and in fact thinks you’re a bit weird and making a big deal out of a piece of clothing, and after they go “oh thanks” and shove your creation in the cupboard next to a sweater they got for £15 at an M&S sale, then they never wear your sweater because it’s too tight because when you asked them how their favorite sweaters usually fit they said “I ‘unno” and when you measured them for the fifth time and asked, rather tersely, if they had enough room in the chest, they said “I guess,” and then if pressed they say they don’t really like the sweater design, but then you point out that they were supposed to participate in helping you design it and they say they don’t really care about how things look, and when you say that you tried to match it to their other clothes so how can they hate it, then they say that honestly their mother still buys all their clothes because they hate going shopping, and that they hate all their other clothes too, well. That’s when a sensible knitter goes “Fuck this shit. And you know what? Fuck this man.”

This is what happens when someone posts in a knitting forum “Attack of the sweater curse!” - this is the usual story. It has a rigid plot. It is as old as myth.

That’s when you look at the time you spent and realize, “I could LITERALLY have written the first draft of a novel instead of doing this.” That’s when you go “I could have taken that £200 and bought myself a new wardrobe.” That’s when you go “I could have taken all that intent, all that willpower, all that creative force, and laid down some fucking witchcraft, all right?” That’s when you go “I basically spent 100 hours straight thinking about this bastard while making something amazing for him, and I have no evidence that he ever spent 10 hours of his life thinking about me.”

And “I could spend this time and energy and money in making myself an enormous, intricate heirloom silk shawl with just a touch of cashmere, in elvish twists and leafy lace in all the colors of the night, shot through with subtly glittering stars, warm in winter and cool and summer and light as a lover’s kiss on the shoulders, suitable for draping over my arms at weddings or wrapping myself in to watch the sea, a lace-knotted promise to myself that I will keep for my entire life and gift to my favorite granddaughter when I die, and she will wear it to keep alive my memory - but instead I have this sweater, and this fuckboy.”

The sweater curse is a lesson that the universe gives to a knitter at an important point in their life. It is a gift.

Knitting a sweater for a husband or wife generally doesn’t call down the curse, because the relationship is meant to be stronger than 4-ply.

One of my favorite things about Once Upon a Time (which I bring up in this week’s podcast) is how the show takes the stories that as imagined by Disney are about romantic relationships and make them about female relationships.

Regina doesn’t become evil because her boyfriend is killed*. She doesn’t become evil until she finds out that Snow telling her secret is what led to his death. It’s not the romantic relationship that develops her character, it’s the betrayal of another girl.

http://www.ilovetelevisionzines.com/#/wtsbchaptereighteen/

Well, the preview images for my podcast has drawings of me in them.

(sidenote, check out the podcast if you like people nitpicking a web of complex continuity involving the flagship properties of a major corporation.)

This week on the podcast:Max and Tina discuss Once Upon a Time, S01E10: 7:15 A.M., in which the bird is a METAPHOR, we meet the 8th dwarf, and - despite what David and Mary Margaret think - it is possible to see someone and NOT make out with them.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/welcome-to-storybrooke-i-love/id1153441122?mt=2

eloquencly:

found this on the bathroom stall at school